"Tenuous Love" (original poem)

[dogbutt2112]

Another love poem, by me.

"Tenuous Love"

To have, but never to hold
Too wild, but not too bold
To form, but not to mold
Too hot, but way too cold
Too gray, too gold

A million lies never told

To think, yet never thought
To seek, yet never sought
To feel, yet never fought
Love, a gift, yet never bought
To flee, yet want to be caught

Bliss, a desire,
too finely wrought.

The seeker, will He find?
The Lone Wolf, will She mind?
The Heroine, will She bind him?
Love's clock, truth will wind him.

How will Time find him?

jef 5/31

 

[bisKi]

Bliss, a desire,
too finely wrought.

too often we've all searched for that bliss, and especially so in another we love. sometimes we find it, sometimes we wonder if it's worth all the effort and heartache.

This is a nice piece, almost like how falling in love is mostly like - searching but not quite searching etc . Tenuous? Only when we let it be.

 

[Taliana]

I really enjoyed this piece... it shows both sides of life, its very real.


(edit- after reading in another topic u want reviews)- the piece was good, but felt it could be more. Its somehow missing somthing, i think the ending is too abrupt, not enough conclusion, or not enough of a question to keep the reader wondering about it. There are a lot of this vs that the top half, but i think at the bottom half of the piece if you have more of a resolution it would have a better feeling about it, like a change of pace somewhere halfway through the piece... Anyway, i still really enjoyed it, those are just a few thoughts i had.

Looking forward to reading more of your work...

 

[Cosmic Mist]

holy fuck. me likes very muchly. *nods*

i think you need to extend upon this piece with a continuation when your feelings evolve or change. I'd like to see the progression.

 

[neverwas]

wow...i liked this to hun. it is a good peice of writting. look forward to reading more