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Telling someone I have HPV -- After sex

Yeah.. Tell people cause hpv still isn't something to just shrug off.... This is why diseases spread because people are so fucking careless. My brothers girlfriend had to almost have her ovaries taken out from hpv and shit... That's not something to just think oh hpv isn't bad. I got my gardasil shot and even nowadays they're recommending guys to get the vaccination. Guess what it may not be an issue to guys really but they can still pass it off to a woman... but wow this makes me shake my head. Think before you act...

Volunteered in a clinic and its unbelievable how many people have std's ect.

Yep. I realize there is that low percentage of women who will have issues, but I know two people who were affected by HPV. Let the other person decide if they don't care if they get HPV. It's not your place to play "Oh, who cares if you get an STD" and decide if the person should get anything.

And, yes, that guy can now spread it to some girl. Who are you to not only get someone diseased, but then tell them don't worry about it. Women can have serious complications from this STD.
 
Why would you even bother telling him you have HPV after you had sex?? People are retarded and they get scared, like what happen to this guy. Especially when he is ocd.
that's straight up retarded. Heat of the moment, yada yada, but coming clean post de facto is still pretty honourable. At least she did that. So he knows what to expect.

Gotta be more careful in the future, Mami - that's not cool if it can SERIOUSLY affect your health like others have eluded to.
 
Are HPV these small warts? I think have them since im 10 and thats no joke I must have gotten them in the swimming pool or something.
They are really tiny and are between tip of my dick and the shaft, should be not contageous with a condom right?

I have seen it in porn more than once so probably many guys have it.

This thread is scaring me. I do not have HPV and you guys are making me feel like the only reason I'm STD-free is because I don't get laid enough.
Be glad, you can have not enough sex and apperently still have HPV, like me.
 
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HPV is in 80% of the population and those of you who think you are STD free may even be carriers for it, because the test to determine if one has HPV is not actually used in the normal battery of STD tests. Generally doctors only recommend this test if a woman has an abnormal pap smear. So, don't go around thinking you are holier than thou and "clean" when more likely than not, you already have HPV. Condoms do not prevent transmission. The strain which causes the warts is not the high risk strain which causes cervical cancer, however, it is definitely possible to be infected with multiple strains.

As for Mami: No, I don't think you are a horrible person. Perhaps in the future you should be more forthcoming before you have sex with someone. The fact that you have warts now should have been a deterrent to having sex in the first place, because this is most likely when it is the most contagious, even though it can spread even with no symptoms.
 
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Mami-
Yeah, obviously..it was wrong..you know that already.
You were looking for support when you posted that.
You screwed up. PPl know that you screwed up, and they're gonna say so.
BUT- We've all screwed up, too.

Everybody here's still got your back.
Everybody just wants you to learn from this.
Also, I think it must've took alot of nerve to post all this..
If you can do that, you can definitely handle yourself the next
time this comes up.

<3token

Side note: Alot of ppl think hpv is no big deal..because so many people have it..
Don't you think the reason so many ppl have it, is because most ppl think it's no big deal?
Cervical cancer is a big deal. Aids is a big deal.
Both of them kill people. That IS a big deal.
**The vaccine is out for guys now.**
 
Don't you think the reason so many ppl have it, is because most ppl think it's no big deal?

**The vaccine is out for guys now.**

Most people have it because usually there are no symptoms. And the vaccine will be worthless if you already have HPV. You could get vaccinated and still spread it with the false assurance that you don't have HPV. Remember, there is no specific test for it, other than a cervical DNA test. The only way to be sure you don't have it if you want the vaccine is if you have not had sex yet with ANYONE.
 
In sum: Girl tells worrywort guy that she has HPV after unprotected sex, someone she's known for nine years. Her responses to his worries are--

*You probably had it anyway.
*Try positive thinking; it's what works for me.

Alllll-righty, then...
 
munki..what I meant when I wrote that is that if everyone goes around thinking that
it's no big deal .. then when these situations come up, like the OP posted about, the thinking
is that I don't have to tell him, he's probably already got it, it's no big deal.
He may not have had it, now he probably does, and can give it to someone else.
I think what I was trying to say is, it's avoidable, and it's a bigger deal than alot of ppl think.
Anyway, I think everything you said was great.
<3token
 
You can definitely be charged with a felony for knowingly spread the HIV/AIDS virus. Many homosexual men and prostitute chicks here in Minneapolis have been charged with a felony because they neglected to tell their partner and, in turn, spread HIV.

Yes it is like that here on the east coast too.

I know a lot of bisexual and gay men who have had sex with men who are HIV+ and sometimes it was unprotected sex, and they were only told or found out after they had sex with someone HIV+. This was in the 80s, 90s, and not that long ago. My friends did not get infected even if some of them did do very high risk sex and even they're not sure how they didn't get infected and figure it must have been random luck.

I know a lot of HIV+ men who do tell everyone who they are with that they're HIV+ and they only have sex with other HIV+ people but there are people who are HIV+ and who have other STDs who don't tell, and they lie and many figure that if they and their partner(s) are having safer sex there's no need to tell the other person at all.

The men I know who are HIV+ who only have sex with other poz men tell me how they are sick and tired of men who are HIV neg and bug chasers who want to get "bred" or "seeded" with their HIV+ come and how those men who actually want to get infected with HIV are crazy. I have noticed how some of my HIV+ friends do seem to think that it's perfectly OK for them to do it raw or bare with another person that's HIV+ and many are in total denial that they can get or give someone else other strains of HIV, get reinfected or infect someone with the same strain, that their medications can get messed up or stop working, or get or give other STDs that aren't good to have if you are HIV+.

On the other side of the coin I know people who are HIV+ who do not think that criminalizing HIV is a good thing since we all have a personal responsibility to have safer sex, get tested for HIV and other STDs, and it's 2012 and everyone has known how to have safer sex since the 80s. There have been cases where an HIV neg person had sex with someone who is HIV+ and the neg person knew the other person was HIV+, they had safer sex, and the HIV neg person was not infected with HIV and then they turn around and want the HIV+ person put into prison or charged with attempted murder.

http://www.thedailybeast.com/articles/2009/05/07/should-people-who-spread-hiv-go-to-jail.html

As I wrote before this is why I assume that whoever I'm having sex with both men or women are HIV+ or have STDs and I practice safer sex.
 
The men I know who are HIV+ who only have sex with other poz men tell me how they are sick and tired of men who are HIV neg and bug chasers who want to get "bred" or "seeded" with their HIV+ come and how those men who actually want to get infected with HIV are crazy.

Wait there are people out there who actually "want" HIV? Da fuck?
 
The men I know who are HIV+ who only have sex with other poz men tell me how they are sick and tired of men who are HIV neg and bug chasers who want to get "bred" or "seeded" with their HIV+ come and how those men who actually want to get infected with HIV are crazy.

i hope i just had a misunderstanding of this
 
too long for me to read everyone's comments, so sorry if this has been brought up. i did read your original post though.

Although HPV is much more of a concern for females than males, it's definitely not benign in men. Men can get warts, just like you did, on their penises. And although you're correct in saying condoms don't really do much for protection against HPV, you still should have told him so that he could have made his own judgment call

By any chance did the doctors tell you what specific HPV virus you had? The HPV that causes genital warts (so called "less risk HPV") are serotypes 6 and 11. The ones that cause cervical cancer ("high risk HPV") are 16 and 18. When you got your warts removed, did they send them to a pathology lab and confirm which type of HPV you have?

His anxiety is justified, and you owe it to every future sexual partner to tell them about this. If he 'went down on you' he could develop oral warts, warts on his vocal cords, etc. This is all worst case scenario, b/c his body may have already cleared the virus out. It's just gonna be this constant worry for this man.

You're not a bad person, as long as you learn from this experience. You live and you learn, right? I'd just give this guy his distance (maybe permanently) and wish him for the best
 
too long for me to read everyone's comments, so sorry if this has been brought up. i did read your original post though.

Although HPV is much more of a concern for females than males, it's definitely not benign in men. Men can get warts, just like you did, on their penises. And although you're correct in saying condoms don't really do much for protection against HPV, you still should have told him so that he could have made his own judgment call

By any chance did the doctors tell you what specific HPV virus you had? The HPV that causes genital warts (so called "less risk HPV") are serotypes 6 and 11. The ones that cause cervical cancer ("high risk HPV") are 16 and 18. When you got your warts removed, did they send them to a pathology lab and confirm which type of HPV you have?

His anxiety is justified, and you owe it to every future sexual partner to tell them about this. If he 'went down on you' he could develop oral warts, warts on his vocal cords, etc. This is all worst case scenario, b/c his body may have already cleared the virus out. It's just gonna be this constant worry for this man.

You're not a bad person, as long as you learn from this experience. You live and you learn, right? I'd just give this guy his distance (maybe permanently) and wish him for the best

I agree, some men do have HPV. I have a friend who has HPV on his penis but I know other men who have it up their ass, and some who had it in their throat and it caused cancer. :(
 
I may be mistaken, but given enough time, some people's immune system can clear the virus (years) and there are plants that act against the virus (the names escape me at this time). Always get tested before assuming that you are clear.
 
HPV is very difficult for your body to eradicate.

If memory serves me right (took Med Micro last semester): The cervix is multiple layers of cells, all together forming the lining over the cervix. HPV is tricky b/c it settles in the basal/bottom layer of the cervix, and expresses proteins early on that are associated with cancer/wart formation. These "bad" proteins expressed by the virus are unfortunately not really susceptible to the antibodies that the body makes against them. The antibodies that do eradicate the disease are formed when the virus starts to migrate towards the top layer of the cells, and a new set of antibodies is directed against proteins made late in HPV's settlement. By that time, the virus has already done its damage and has a permanent 'reservoir' of mutated cells in the basal layer.
The vaccine introduces these proteins made late in the infection (by late, I mean years after the initial introduction) so that the body can mount its immune response. Thus, when/if infected again later in life, the person doesn't have to wait years and years for the late-phase proteins to develop.
 
A text conversation from 8:30-11:30 a.m. this morning.


Him: Hey, do you think about the unprotected sex at all?
Me: Yeah. It was highly irresponsible. Though we've both been [HIV] tested recently with no new risks...
Me: Thoughts?
Him: I'm going to try and get on a prophylaxis treatment today. Doctor warned me lasat time that some of the side effects are unknown. Just for peace of mind.
Him: OCD, neurosis, whatever you want to call it. When are you scheduled for your last [HIV swab] test? You? Thoughts?

Me: Oh [name], I'm sorry ... I should have been more thoughtful. I really am negative now FWIW. [He believes you aren't negative until 18 months after the high risk behavior.]
Me: 12 months will be end of June. I'm getting retested on Monday.



Me: You know what HPV is right. And condoms don't prevent its spread much? I have that and I'm getting another treatment for it Tuesday.
Me: it doesn't visibly show up in men, and it causes cervical cancer. Men are unaffected carriers.
Him: No, I don't know what that is. I don't have. Didn't? Could they give me something for that?
Me: No
Him: Why didn't you tell me?
Me: 80% of Americans have it. You doctor probably even has it. You probably unknowingly have it. It's not serious...for you.
Me: I just called HIV ed. She said most individuals are detected in 3 months. In very rare individuals, it takes 6 months. I was tested at 6 months. She said the 12 and 18 month mark you must know about is back from old testing methods.
Me: She speaks from the Center for Disease Control.
Him: No. I didn't have anything. I had pretty exhaustive testing. How contagious is it? Is it pretty much guaranteed that I have it now?
Me: There is no test for it for men. That's how unaffected you are.
Him: I hadn't done anything with anyone else between test results. I looked it up. It says 20% of men can develop cancers and genital and oral warts. Should there be anything else that I should know? So that I could have the best info when I see my doc.
Me: That's it. No high risk behavior since end of June last year. No new partners since that time.


Him: How did you know you had it? Did you have symptoms?
Me: Yeah
Him: What symptoms? Is it highly contagious?
Me: Genital warts, I have had most of them removed, and yes I think so.
Me: Most people have it.
Him: I wish so much that you had told me that.
Me: I don't know what to say right now.
Him: Even if I never get symptoms now I could give that to someone else. This is not good.
Him: Please tell me how your other test goes.
Me: Ok.


Him: There is no prophylaxis for HPV.
Me: I didn't tell you because I guess I had accepted it as a fact of life. The nurses always blow it off saying things like how so many people have it, it doesn't cause any problems, and so on.
Him: Every single thing I've read says let others know. I am having panic attacks over this. It's highly contractible. I could pretty much accept that I have it now.
Him: Do you know when you are dormant and when you are not?

Me: I should not listen to the "comforting" of nurses, then. Downplaying it didn't help your peace of mind.
Me: I don't know. Really, how many partners have you had in your life? No need to answer. You really, really, probably already have had this.
Him: No one has ever told me that I've given them anything. This is intense. I don't think it could be downplayed at all. It's my responsibility to protect myself in the end [name]. But you should tell people. Shouldn't assume that I have it already or that I should be laid back about. I'm going to be sick about this for a long time. Probably forever. Have you been honest with me about the risky behavior?
Me: Yes, honest. You are right. Please consider though that it takes time to show up. If you have given anyone HPV they would not always know how long it was dormant aka. if it was you.
Me: You haven't heard about HPV because so many people have it, therefore no one talks about it. It's everywhere. I'm just honest enough to educate you. Sorry, I'm not trying to be defensive. It's just how I see it.
Me: Yes, educate before, not after. I don't know what I was thinking.
Me: 90% of immune systems eliminate it in 2 years.


Him: The stuff I've read say you keep it for life. I'm at doctors now. Waiting on my turn.
Him: I hope they give me something for anxiety, too. I have OCD real bad. This is going to fuck me up worse.

Me: Hmm, ok. Let me know the doctor's and nurses' sentiments.
Me: Use positive self talk. Pessimism and negative self talk isn't going to help with anxiety. I know how you are feeling though. I learned what it was right when I found out I had it. It was a shock, but learning more about it helped.
Me: Have you tried any positive self talk? It's highly effective for anxiety and general well being. Look it up sometime.. I learned how to do it through this website called MoodGym. It's based on principles from that book you recommended, Feeling Good.
Him: I hope I dodged this. But it's sounding like it's guaranteed that I have it now. I don't want to hear about positive thinking. I'll pass on that.
Me: That's your choice.
Me: This sucks.
Him: Sorry [name]. I don't share your lightheartedness about STDs (any of them).
Me: I didn't feel lighthearted until doctors and nurses everywhere passed on that sentiment. I hate this.
Him: Yes it does. I fucked up. I should have worn a condom and it's on me for not being more direct about how this kind of thing weighs heavy on mind. But I am very bummed out right now. And I know that I'm gonna be so for a long time ahead. I fucked up.
Him: Those are some crazy docs and nurses. I think they gave you terrible advise if they didn't tell you to advise others about what they were about to get.

Me: Maybe the ones I met all had it and the idea is to make themselves feel better. Just a guess.
Me: It wasn't emphasized. But I have a conscious and I know that it was socially irresponsible. They just didn't help.
Him: This is not a lighthearted matter at all. It's not an "Ooops, my bad, what are you doing for lunch?"


In the past I have told people before sex, sometimes after. I don't follow any protocol for Informing. I WILL as a RULE follow informed consent. He took 18 months of prophylactic meds for HIV and just got off them. I knew that and still didn't inform him beforehand. I'm not perfect, but am I an awful person?

Old habits die hard?

:?


^^This needs to be storyboarded pronto for a round of nationally televised PSAs.
The fact that this isn't even the first time you've done this...? Yeeeeetch.

Also, whatever you do, don't tell him about this either:

 
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