Tell me about your benzo expierience

[ugly]

Just got some valium finally. I like it much better than clonazapm, though I know that I really need to not let it go and take too much. Withdrawals are def - not fun!

Oh yeah! Valium is SO hard to get these days, at least with the So Cal doctors on my list. But my mom used to have a script for valium. I take Klonopin/clonazapam 4 mg a night and they barely effect me. I'm scripted for 4 mg a night and I don't like to take more but if I really and truly need to sleep, I'll take 8 mg. But I pay for it at the end of my prescription because I run out completely before I can get it again.

Valium was almost an opiate to me. I'm sensitive to opiates though and don't do them anymore in part because I don't enjoy throwing up.

I used to take Valium with Talwin though. My mom had scripts for both... copious scripts, before computers. I would get higher and more fkkt up on those two than any other benzo combo. Back then we had barbituates too, and those aren't even offered anymore, except I think they only use those for lethal injections presently.

I miss doctor shopping, paying for scriptions with cash, driving down to Mexico for meds, and I miss Valium. It's the best benzo besides Rohyp but that stuff is very hard to get a script for in my area.

 

[Rabidrabbit]

I've been prescribed benzos for nearly 6 years now, from age 20. I started on .25mg Xanax and now I'm on 6mg of Klonopin. I take it just to feel normal pretty much as they don't really work for my anxiety anymore. I don't have nearly as many panic attacks however. The first couple of years were great because for the first time in my life I could leave my house without those anxious thoughts ruining my mood/experience. Like, I can go to Target without having an anxiety attack, yay! Then they stopped working (after some admitted abuse, but I was always able to hang on to enough of them until my refill date).

Now they're just another fucking bullshit pill I have to take or risk dying. But I'm scared to death of tapering off of them especially since I need to work on my underlying anxiety issues...

As for recreational purposes prior to being prescribed benzos, I'd just think of them as "alcohol in a pill"... very similar effects, except for the ridiculous amount of memory loss/black outs. I used to take a bunch of Xanax and carve up my arm with a razor blade & wake up the next morning not remembering a thing but seeing my bloody fucking arm... so yeah, lack of inhibition indeed.

Benzos should definitely be used as a tool and not taken daily. My quack of a Doctor on the other hand... ah fuck it, I could have told him I wanted to stop the benzos but I enjoy having them around.

 

[Bluefrogger]

Anxiety, Tolerance and Withdrawal

"Benzos should definitely be used as a tool and not taken daily" by Rabidrabbit

When you take any opiate for a long period of time, as I have for chronic pain, it seems to eventually actually cause a certain level of anxiety! I feel that the benzodiazepine's have truly allowed me to sleep through pain but they do mask and blind you to the long term affects. I've never found them to be euphoric though.

A good pain management Dr. (usually they are Anesthesiologist's) generally doesn't like to RX benzos. They don't have a quick anecdote due to the long elimination-rate, long-lifespan, long-, etc.
Also, when combined with other CNS depressants like alcohol and opiates, there are a lot of other potential problems.

I learned, over a long time frame that benzos can be really cruel to you if you don't be very careful! Tolerance and withdrawal can be a sneaky bitch.

 

[kronedog]

I haven't had too many experiences with benzo's, but the ones I have had were both good and bad. I've combined them with weed and opiates, and then I feel amazing but I don't use them to get fucked up anymore, seems pointless to me now.

The only time I tried to get high strictly off benzo's ended up messy. My first ex girlfriend came over one night (about a year ago) and I hadn't seen her in years but all was good. I asked her if she wanted to smoke some weed and get high and she said no. Instead, when we go inside, she takes a handful of pills out of her purse. I know they were Xanax and Klonopin, but I didn't ask how much they were each.

Basically, I got rocked off them and had no idea I was as high as I was. I went outside and a group of my friends were on the driveway smoking a blunt and apparently I was being an ass and making absolutely no sense, begging for someone to pass the blunt. I learned my lesson that night when it comes to benzo's. I think benzo's are great, but not so great to get high off. Just my opinion. I'd rather use them in very low dose to help with my daily anxiety.

 

[kace]

Good: No anxiety, being able to sleep, being able to socialise and feel happy

Bad: Withdrawals, rebound insomnia, blackouts (then finding out the embarrassing things I did the next day. Worst finding out someone had slept with me when I was having a blackout- I had no idea), the clumsyness, awful memory.

 

[xpensivtaste]

i take benzo's occasionally for insomnia, comedowns or them really bad days where my anxiety gets me so bad i can't function. luckily i have enough self control to not take more than twice a week so no matter how bad shit is I.e. panic attacks, can't leave the house, rolling around on my bed knowing i ain't sleeping for shit - if i have taken them within the last 3 days, i aint touching them.

i find them to be euphoric in the way that they take the shit away. i love how i can lay on my bed that feels oh so sexual, thoughtless, chilled and happy then eventually sleep in a happy slumber and wake the next morning still feeling that glow.

to me they are a night time drug. i don't tend to take them in the day unless its a comedown which is rare or anxiety is peaking hard as shit. i do have a lot of respect for benzos and thats just from reading numerous threads before trying them and then finding out how wonderful they can actually be. not to be messed about with though. i realise this.

reading this thread has made me even more determined to keep to no more than twice a week. talk about a shock factor! i knew all this anyway but some of the stuff i have read just now have really knocked me for six. the thought of blacking out scares me to death let alone withdrawals. i wish i had never had found out about them though just because although i feel i'm a responsible user, i am pretty sure all you guys were once the same. guess thats down to me though and keep on scaring myself into being careful by reading threads like this.

 

[Docta.Jay]

I wish I could remember my benzo experiences

 

[2c-goinsane]

Worse time on benzos was when i decided i would like to go have sexual intercourse with this 1 female i was talking to at the time. I hopped in my car and started my way to pick her up. this was my first experience with what can happen if your not careful on benzos.

Im about 6mgs deep on some alprazolam at this moment not thinking very clearly, i stop on my way to get some gas and only put 4 bucks in my tank(1st mistake i had a full 10 i should have put in). After this i got lost and wasted all my gas, my phone was also dead. I eventually just passed out at my wheel with my car parked in the shoulder lane and woke up to a knocking noise on my window. i wake up and see that there is a couple police cruisers behind me and 2 cops at my window. I bullshit with them and tell em i ran out of gas etc, i was asked multiple times if i had been drinking or smoking pot but i just said no not at all i dont mess with those things.

The cop eventually took me to a nearby gas station to get picked up by someone. I get to the gas station and pass out at the restaurant tables. i finally wake up a couple hours later to my roommates face there ready to pick me up was weight lifted off my shoulders for sure, this must be around 8am in the morning i spent half my night in my car and the other half in a chevron gas station lol, better than jail. some how i must have contacted my roommate and told em where i was, i dont remember some things my mind was a bit hazy.

ever since then i eat my benzos and stay in 1 spot and then pass out in a bed. i do remember getting back home and hopping right back on that benzo train to make up for my long night.

 

[verso]

I can still take benzos, can and still do, but it's only occasionally now that I've suffered through a bout of xanax withdrawal and actually suffered a seizure as well -- yeah, not fun!

I've also done some pretty stupid and ridiculous things when I was all benzo-d out. For example, I knew that I wouldn't make it to class on time, wouldn't even make it on time so as to be considered "late." Well, I had taken so many klonopin that I e-mailed my professor to give her a heads-up that I wouldn't be in class, and I wrote so candidly, too candidly.

I know that I posted this somewhere else here on bluelight, but the e-mail went a little something like this, and I'm not exaggerating in even the least bit: "Dear professor _________, I just wanted to let you know that I won't be in class tonight because I took too many klonopin and now I can't drive. I live down the street from the school, and I could probably walk to class, but I'm afraid that I might fall into traffic and die. I hope you understand, and again, I apologize."

I passed out, of course, and when I woke up, I had an e-mail from my professor, and it was a reply which completely baffled me, as I couldn't remember sending her or anyone else an e-mail; when I read what I had written, I nearly pissed myself! lol