Social Tell a Joke

[Ki3ly]

A cat walks into a bar. The bartender says, “What’ll you have?”

The cat says, “A shot of whiskey.” The bartender pours the cat it's drink.

Slowly, the cat pushes the shot off the bar…immediately demanding, “ANOTHER!!”

 

[Shambles]

A bear walks into a bar.

Bartender says: “Why the long





































































… paws?”

 

[Ki3ly]

What do you get when you combine a Vagina with an a.i. ?

A cunt that knows Everything.

 

[spypilot]

knock knock whos there
me now sign these divorce papers
fuck you bitch im not signing that shit you just want my money you fucking whore
and while your here take your kids they flopped out of your hole and theyre fucking annoying
your not getting a fucking dime out of me skank
(its funny because its statistically accurate)

 

[Ki3ly]

knock knock whos there
me now sign these divorce papers
fuck you bitch im not signing that shit you just want my money you fucking whore
and while your here take your kids they flopped out of your hole and theyre fucking annoying
your not getting a fucking dime out of me skank
(its funny because its statistically accurate)

But it has to be like a pun. A nice one.

Punny !! Pun intended bb.

 

[Ki3ly]

This guys ex-wife still misses him ....

but her aim is starting to improve.

blat blat blat haha

 

[Ki3ly]

I saw an ad for burial plots, and I thought....
“that’s the last thing i need !”

 

[KriptonitXxx]

Vajina tarif: Sauron şekil itibarı ile

 

[FixXxer]

Girlfriend told me this one. Not sure if she got it elsewhere..

Two guys are in a car, stopped at a stop sign.
A police officer comes up and asks the driver, "what are you waiting for?"
Guy says, "just waiting for the stop sign to turn green"
Officer asks, "how high are you?"
Guy responds, "Hi, how are you?" Then turns to his friend and says, "Wow! what a nice guy"

 

[kingsfont]

Dave's friend Tom calls him when he hears that Dave's mother in law just passed away and he gives Dave his condolences.
Tom: How did she pass away?
Dave: We were in our third floor apartment when she tripped in the bedroom...and
Tom: So she broke her hip?
Dave: No, she fell towards the balcony window, which was open...and
Tom: So she fell three floors onto the sidewalk?
Dave: No, she actually fell off the balcony towards the swimming pool...and
Tom: So she drowned?
Dave: No, she landed on the diving board and bounced upright onto the pool deck...and
Tom: So then how did she die?
Dave: I got out my rifle and shot her!

 

[kingsfont]

At the inquest Dave asks the doctor how his mother in law died.
Dave: What was cause of her death Dr.?
Dr.: She died of a massive heart attack.
Dave: But Doctor that's impossible! She didn't have a heart!