Social Tell a Joke

[aftershocknrock]

what do you call a deer with no eyes?


....no idea


what do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs ?


...still no idea

*edit fucked it up lol*

 

[chippermonk]

That's one of those ones that works better when you say it

 

[Nas47]

Englishman-I will die for the honour
Frenchman-I will die for the love
American-I will die for the freedom
Russian-I will die

 

[Robi]

" I hated those people that knock on your door and say you need to get' saved' or you will ' burn.' Stupid firemen."

 

[jasperkent]

Older chicken giving advice to young chicken:
And whatever you do, don't ever cross that road...or you'll never hear the end of it.

 

[Robi]

I started crying when my wife was chopping onions,Onions was such a good dog.

 

[shreddedlettuce]

How does a butcher introduce his wife?



"Meat Patty"

 

[Robi]

Do humans eat more bananas than monkeys? Yes.Most grocery stores don't even sell monkeys.

 

[kiely]

I just quit my job at the helium
factory.

I won't be spoken to in that tone
of voice !!

 

[kiely]

I was going to tell a time - traveling joke,

... but you guys didn't like it.

 

[kiely]

You'd be surprised how quickly employees at Lowes assist you
after ignoring you for 20 minutes when you try and start a
chainsaw.

 

[kiely]

Did you know ?
An antelope can jump higher than a house.
That is due to it's powerful hind legs and
... the fact that a house cannot jump at all.

 

[kiely]

breaking news:
A Chinese restaurant has been hit with a f10k electricity bill,
they said they can't turn off all of the lights, but they do dim sum.

 

[kiely]

11 PEOPLE ... ON A ROPE

Eleven people were hanging on a rope, under a helicopter.

10 men and 1 woman.

The rope was not strong enough to carry them all, so they
decided that one had to leave, Because otherwise they were
all going to fall.

They weren't able to choose that person, until the woman
gave a very touching speech.

She said that she would voluntarily let go of the rope, because,
as a woman, she was used to giving up everything for her
husband and kids or for men in general, and was used to always
making sacrifices with little in return.

As soon as she finished her speech all of the men
started clapping . . . . . . .

 

[kiely]

" This email from a Nigerian prince looks genuine,
but the L3,549 energy bill must be a scam "

 

[chippermonk]

11 PEOPLE ... ON A ROPE

Eleven people were hanging on a rope, under a helicopter.

10 men and 1 woman.

The rope was not strong enough to carry them all, so they
decided that one had to leave, Because otherwise they were
all going to fall.

They weren't able to choose that person, until the woman
gave a very touching speech.

She said that she would voluntarily let go of the rope, because,
as a woman, she was used to giving up everything for her
husband and kids or for men in general, and was used to always
making sacrifices with little in return.

As soon as she finished her speech all of the men
started clapping . . . . . . .

Blonde men, no doubt

 

[kiely]

' If you hold a large sea shell to your ear
you can hear the sound of a flushing loo '.

 

[kiely]

 

[kiely]

JUST GOT THIS DVD : " Hot and Horny Housewives Do Anal 3 "

DO YOU THINK I WILL UNDERSTAND WHAT'S GOING ON IF
I HAVEN'T SEEN 1 AND 2 ?

 

[reverse cosmosis]

"Are you alright?"

No I'm half left otherwise I'd be going round in circles!