Social Tell a Joke

[jasperkent]

(oldie but goodie)

The village idiot walks into the blacksmith shop as the blacksmith has just finished pounding a red-hot horseshoe into shape.

"Lemme see that," says the idiot, and picks up the horseshoe-- but immediately flings it to the ground.
"What's wrong?" says the smiling blacksmith.

The idiot replies "It don't take long to look at a horseshoe."

 

[Robi]

I keeping telling myself I need to quit drugs,like I'm going to listen to a drug addict.

 

[kiely]

Most People : " Ah Ha " Moments

Me : " Oh For Fuck's Sake, Fuck This Shit " Moments

 

[kiely]

"When you feel broken
remember that a
kaleidoscope is made of
broken pieces and when
we look into it we see
something Awesome "

 

[kiely]

TEXTING for SENIORS

BFF - best friend fell
BTW - bring the wheelchair
TTYL - talk to you louder
BYOT - bring your own teeth
LMDO - laughing my dentures out
FWIW - forgot where i was
IMHAO - is my hearing aid on ?
OMMR - on my massage recliner
ROFLACGU - rolling on the floor laughing
and can't get up

 

[jasperkent]

TEXTING for SENIORS...

I resemble those remarks.

 

[kiely]

Someone that was prescribed orthopaedic shoes :

" I didn’t think they’d work but I stand corrected. "

 

[ions]

My wife and I decided we don't want children. It was a difficult decision, but we're telling them tonight.

 

[kiely]

1 Find a man that makes you laugh.

2 Find a man who has a good job and can cook.

3 Find a man who is honest.

4 Find a man who will pamper you with gifts.

5 Find someone who is awesome in bed.

6 Most of all. It is very important that these
five men never meet !

 

[kiely]

WHEN YOUR KIDS ARE ALL
LOSING THEIR MINDS AT THE
SAME TIME YOU GOTTA
CONNECT WITH JESUS SO YOU
DON'T DO ANYTHING STUPID.

 

[ions]

My cellphone accidentally took a 10 minute video of my shoes yesterday.
It was some pretty good footage.

 

[kiely]

Being an adult is like folding
a fitted sheet .....
No one knows how.

 

[kiely]

I pooped in an elevator. I took that shit to another level.

 

[kiely]

Despite the high cost of living.


...... it still remains quite popular.

 

[kiely]

Q : Where was J.F.K. shot ?

A : In the head !!

 

[kiely]

i thought it was tennessee

 

[Robi]

What do call a man that's lost all of his intelligence? A widower.

 

[kiely]

Marijuanna : It won't kill you unless a bale of it falls on you.

--- Willie

 

[kiely]

? Y is CHUCK NORRIS always on TOP ?
C.N. doesn't F up !

 

[kiely]

CHUCK NORRIS can slam a revolving door…

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