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TDS Social vs. where Darksiders come to play

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I need to check out this khahn academy; I've heard about it from a few people now. Free edumacation sounds pretty grand to me; I've got some ideas about improving efficiency for small-scale urban wind turbines, but I really need to improve my grounding in fluid dynamics before I can properly model it.

Just floating around BL for the moment. Finished a great yoga practise a couple of hours ago, including chatting up the super-cute instructor, and am settling in for a chill evening. Probably wind up playing a bit of Minecraft, or see if I can get Steam working in Ubuntu. You know, the same sort of thing that all cool kids do on a Friday night :\
 
^^ To some degree yes :) Don't forget that sometimes (most of the time??) bad days can be caused by things that are out of our control and therefore you can't beat up on yourself for those kind of bad days :) <3


Thizz Machine, I'm on day 2 of my 4 days off work! :)
Although I have a report to write, which is due on Tuesday...haven't started writing yet....must.go.offline! Damn internet/BL addiction!! :D
 
That's an amazing amount of volunteer work!
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Hi Cap! How are you? You do a fair bit of volunteer work yourself being a mod. We are all thankful for what you lot do.

Finished a great yoga practise a couple of hours ago, including chatting up the super-cute instructor,
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You go Dave!

I had a really awesome day, followed be a really really shitty day..Maybe I AM bipolar? Aren't we all though?
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@SS00--Yeah I think so; so let's toss out the "diagnosis" and call it our reality.:)

I've had an interesting evening. I went to a gathering of artists that are part of a community that I have been really involved with for years. Everybody is getting ready to open their studios to the public for a couple of weekends this month. It's a big deal put on by the Arts Council, tons of preparation, stress and chaos, so there is a lot of camaraderie. After C's death, I have not done any painting and am not participating for the first time in years. I thought I might feel bad being there with everybody in their excitement about exhibiting new work. Strangely that wasn't hard at all. What was hard was that I felt like I was looking back on this life I no longer have. I haven't actually been worrying about not working before tonight. I just kind of trusted that the passion would come back in its own time. But I felt like I didn't really care tonight--and like I might never care. That felt sad. Like more death. Like another way the world just changed. Being a painter has been my identity for so many years. Maybe this is a good thing? A lesson about having/ not having an "identity"?
Compared to the sadness of losing C. this is more like a little shrug. I have always thought that a part of me couldn't help but die with him; but this part? I should take my own advice about not trying to write a script for the future.
 
Herbavore - It may take a while, but it'll come back. Have you tried painting since his death? I know that some artists are only able to work when they're inspired, but I also know many who strongly believe that the best way to get inspired is to work. Perhaps the latter strategy might be useful? Just do a little throwaway piece; some visual noodling or something. Both for fun, and to test the waters a bit. Art is clearly very important to you, and you should probably do your best to keep at least your technical skills up at this time.
 
Dave--I think you are right, no, I know you are right about just working as a way to see what happens and to keep up my skills. Motivation to do things that I know are good (art, exercise, writing)is what is missing. I am signed up for a class in November with an artist whose work I really admire. She is not a painter--does installations and makes "books" out of interesting materials. I'm thinking that external push might nudge something back to life; and doing something completely different.

I have tried painting since C died and I just sat there and looked at my materials and felt total disconnect--as in, why did this ever matter to me?
 
That makes really good sense to me. The pain overrides everything, especially when it's new. In comparison, everything else pales. It's almost a bit like an addiction, in that it takes up so much of your brainspace. Or rather, perhaps, addiction is like a specific form (or subset) of the same sort of obsession from which mourning arises? I think I need to puzzle this one out a bit more.

Regardless; this may sound weird, but have you tried forcing it? Doing a still life or something that you know won't really turn out well, just to keep your chops honed? Or will that perhaps be counter-productive? I've only dabbled in art, so I don't really know how it works for those for whom it's a big part of their lives.
 
herbavore said:
Dave--I think you are right, no, I know you are right about just working as a way to see what happens and to keep up my skills. Motivation to do things that I know are good (art, exercise, writing)is what is missing. I am signed up for a class in November with an artist whose work I really admire. She is not a painter--does installations and makes "books" out of interesting materials. I'm thinking that external push might nudge something back to life; and doing something completely different.

I have tried painting since C died and I just sat there and looked at my materials and felt total disconnect--as in, why did this ever matter to me?
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Herbavore, I know exactly what you mean. I've tried to take up the things that were important to me before my boyfriend died, and it all seems so pointless, or I can't concentrate.. BL is the only thing I seem to be able to focus on! November is a little while off though, hopefully by the you'll be feeling more like you want to get stuck in to your art again :)

I am in total awe of you going back to work - I'm living in my bedroom at the moment, I know it's not the healthiest but I'm finding being out in the world and interacting, especially with people who don't know what has happened, is almost impossible. Trying to integrate myself back into it slowly though, as sitting around thinking doesn't help either. You've inspired me - I'm going to get out and about tomorrow!

How's it going, TDSers? :) <3
 
effie said:
BL is the only thing I seem to be able to focus on! I'm living in my bedroom at the moment, I know it's not the healthiest but I'm finding being out in the world and interacting, especially with people who don't know what has happened, is almost impossible.
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Effie, I think it sounds perfectly healthy to hibernate as long as you feel the need. I spend quite a bit of time in bed and on BL myself so I'm glad you are here with me! Anyway, if you do go out and about today, let me know how it went. PM me anytime.<3<3
 
SoWhat! said:
Life is fucking hard, accepting that is harder.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o0oHlX8Kmxk
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Hey, thank you so much for posting that--what a great little film. Years ago I was a really shy person (what they would diagnose as a disorder these days.) My mom told me to start looking everybody in the eye when I talked to them. It was really hard at first and then that one little thing changed my life. I realized that most of the people that I was afraid to talk to were as afraid as I was (or more). I found that trying to put other people at ease completely erased my own anxiety. Looking strangers in the eye and smiling at them, for no other reason than to make them feel good, is a revolutionary act. That makes me want to add to what you said about life being fucking hard: life is every bit as easy as it is hard.
 
eye contact has been a tough one in the past, but once I realized I had a problem with that, I kinda figured it out. its not hard after a while. its a mindset

I try to hold my head up as well. as high as I can. shows thar you are sure of yourself.

;) :)
 
Optimism. Thinking that girl didn't notice what I said. Did she? No idea. If she did, I can't expect shit to go smooth sailing all the time, and I can't let it get me off track.
 
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