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TDS Social vs. where Darksiders come to play

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herbavore said:
One night short of a full moon here but you could have fooled me---huge, golden orb hanging low over the city. Went down to the beach to see the sparkles on the water, saw the blue light from the jetty lighthouse making its way through the waves and thought how strange and crazy life is---me coming here to BL to talk about losing my son and now all these other lives drawing me out of my own sorrow for these little respites where I feel someone else's pain instead.

My boy loved the ocean. Haven't paddled his ashes out yet, but will. Still, the ashes don't have to be there that's just symbolism for the living. The ocean is already holding him and always has. Felt so close to him tonight with the black waves and the big old moon and the smell of eucalyptus and kelp. No pain tonight, plenty of tears but closer to peace. In reality it's short for all of us, no?
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herbavore I am so sorry to hear of your son's passing. My heart is breaking for you :( I hope you're doing okay <3
Tell us a bit more about him if you like :) <3

herbavore said:
(tried to find a link but don't know htf to do that because my beautiful boy was my in-house computer help!)
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Go to youtube and find the song, then once you've found it, highlight the exact web link/address of the song, copy it, and paste it in a post in here :)
Try it and let me know if you need further instructions okay?


Ixchellian said:
But this time, I entirely expected to get ridden hard and then kicked out the back-door, especially after rising up like that and not holding back.
It's not often that I've seen not one, but three serious mods <snip> someone, and warn them off in the space of a few hours, on the same thread..... and not have them end up busting out the ban-hammer shortly thereafter.
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It's cos we love ya Ix :)


HeWhoHowls said:
i have a love/hate relationship with the sun...
i love reaping all the benefits of it's existence.
but i hate dealing with it's existence.
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Me too man, although for me the sun is perfectly fine UNTIL it becomes summer. Aussie summer sun/heat is murderous :X
 
n3ophy7e said:
Me too man, although for me the sun is perfectly fine UNTIL it becomes summer. Aussie summer sun/heat is murderous :X
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I can't even walk outside without cursing up a storm from the blinding light.
I swear to God my eyes will never get used to sunlight and if i don't have sunglasses I will die...
My hate for the sun could power a lightbulb twice as big and a million times brighter...
 
that was interesting.

can't sleep.
go outside to have a smoke. light. drag. space-out for a min.
horrible distant ungodly metallic grinding noise, down the wet ave.
huh?
chevy tahoe drags a bare, seized alloy wheel past at 30. hits the next light and silence. wait.... wtf??
coming back the other way, nasty gouging sound..... and there he goes, past, and back down the ave.... laying waste to bling rim on wet pavement.
two johnny laws leisurely roll by a few minutes later, and a drunk crosses wobbly on a bicycle behind them.
.....
ah well, time for another smoke. 8)

10min update!
fucking here it comes again..... no shit.
goes by, then around the block, and now he's coming back. the chevy grinds past 4th time wheel a ragged nub now. to the opposite block, thru a red, and fades off in the rain.

*yawn*

Updateupdate:
AGAIN...... going towards downtown. the alloy wheel gone, steel spindle & rotor glowing orange. and still no PD cruisers who usually roll thick here.
.....

that's it, I'm going to bed. 8)
 
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Ix that is really fuckin weird about the chevy!! Bizarre 8o


Happy Friday everyone! Well...to all those who are living here in the future with me...and happy almost-Friday to the rest of yas =D

What does everyone have planned for the weekend?
 
^Massive clean up! I seem to always have the intention to clean but it always disappears when the time comes.
 
Heh, yeah, me too. That's why I love having robots. As long as the floor is clear, my floors at least are clean. I've been working on a 'big clean' over the course of weeks, and I'm astonished at how slow going it is. Maybe if I just bit the bullet and took a full day to clean everything, but I just don't know if I have the motivation (or desire) to do that.
 
n3ophy7e said:
herbavore I am so sorry to hear of your son's passing. My heart is breaking for you :( I hope you're doing okay <3
Tell us a bit more about him if you like :) <3


Go to youtube and find the song, then once you've found it, highlight the exact web link/address of the song, copy it, and paste it in a post in here :)
Try it and let me know if you need further instructions okay?
Click to expand...


Thanks so much. It's hard to know what to do with this much sadness. It's not just me, though, it's my husband physically wasting away from grief and my other son trying to stoically soldier through an enormous amount of guilt and sorrow while working full time and taking a full load in school. Kindness and compassion are my only anchor---trying to both give that and openly receive it. Inviting me to share something about my son is very kind and I will. Not tonight, but from time to time maybe?<3

Also, thank you for the instructionsabout posting a song. It's humbling to be me!8)
 
Captain.Heroin said:
I'm always here if you want to talk, herbavore.

I wish you and your family peace and love during such a difficult time.
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Thank you, Captain. I think I will always be grateful for being able to talk to those of you who knew my son here on BL. It feels like a bridge even though there are no bridges to where he is. Actually, I am grateful for everyone whether they knew him or not. Connection =sanity.

Don't know what part of CA you are in but where I am it is sunny and blue and delicious and so I am off to immerse myself in it.<3:)
 
herbavore said:
Thanks so much. It's hard to know what to do with this much sadness. It's not just me, though, it's my husband physically wasting away from grief and my other son trying to stoically soldier through an enormous amount of guilt and sorrow while working full time and taking a full load in school. Kindness and compassion are my only anchor---trying to both give that and openly receive it. Inviting me to share something about my son is very kind and I will. Not tonight, but from time to time maybe?<3
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Absolutely hun, I/we would love to hear about your son, but only when you are ready to share <3
Sending you and your husband and son all my love during this difficult time. The sun will shine again, and I hope that day comes soon <3
 
Ok, so reading through the How are you in one word thread I see that most of us are, well, struggling? So what is everybody doing? Let's talk. More than one word. What are you doing that is positive, helping? What do you feel like you need?

Here's where I am: Depressed for the first time in probably 30 years. Not just sad, not just grieving, but that insidious life-numbing, creativity-sapping, motivation-murdering non-emotion, depression. (Guess I could just put this in the depression thread?)

Here's what I am doing: forcing myself to call friends. Calling the ones that know they can't "fix" me and taking crying-walks with them. Making fires in my backyard and staring into them and realizing that they are beautiful and comforting and primal and free (when you scrounge the wood from construction sites) and appreciating that.

Oh, yeah, and going to grief counseling. Not great, but an hour a week to be mindful with these feelings.
 
Forcing yourself to socialize is probably the best thing that you can do for yourself. The more we isolate, the bigger our problems seem, and the stronger our demons become. Good call on the fire too; I've always found fire watching to be almost meditative, especially if it is well-built and doesn't need much tending. Especially if you're watching it go from roaring to embers to out.

Counselling is always a good idea, and doubly so for someone dealing with a loss as devastating as yours. It's not likely pleasant, but it will help things so much in the long run.

Oh, and yeah, the One Word thread is a great barometer of how everyone is doing. It really does go in waves, often with weekends being a bit worse than the weeks, and I'd bet that there are larger-scale cycles as well. Which gives me an idea....

/me opens spreadsheet software and gets to work

;)
 
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