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  • TDS Moderators: AlphaMethylPhenyl | paranoid android

TDS Social vs. where Darksiders come to play

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^ yay for Friday indeed! Long week for me too, lots of meetings about going back to work.. went to my new workplace today, 6 mile round trip (I walked to get the exercise, but I can get a bus on rainy/lazy days thankfully) and it looks like I am all set to return in 2 weeks, eep...

Hey to all the new faces! Lovely to see you in here, sorry I haven't had time to reply to anyone individually <3

Hope you are well Herby :) <3
 
I appear to be a day ahead of some of uz hey, damn tripppy time/date line makes stuff confuzzeling... Saturday 4 us here in the land of OZ, Kids back happy enough, not alot productive that i can think to do today, il probbably take tha liln for a swim, theres sposed to be a park closeby around somewhere here, if we get out we will most likley go look for that.
Feel better today than yesterday, and ive gottten more done and managed the morning with no huge upsets apart from having to read some plain truth that is just hard to swallow, no biggie just a little tear.
Main priority....eat something good or get a shake down by midday.
Effie n Herby i gotta say that you are both really great people to me... It's lucky there are people with that way with words u 2 have been so helpfull with ur words so i thank you both deeply for that<3
love everyone else in here too aswell though!!;)
best be off tha thread b4 i start to babble.
Oops...too late:\
 
wtf.
its saturday already?

starting to wonder why I bother with a calendar, seeing as how my week bleeds down into a just couple really long days anyways.

anyone have a solid, dreamless sleep I can borrow just once? I promise I'll have it back before sunrise. :\
 
You dont like dreams? Lately i've been having some really weird ones.

I would like to have some good ones tonight. But a night without dreaming doesn't sound like fun to me.
 
I used to.... but they've gone bad wrong on me, for too long. It's getting to the point where they don't entirely end when I wake up, and it fucks with my whole day.

I don't want any more from sleep, beyond the physical rest aspect. in that regard, oblivion alone seems to be sufficient to let the former happen. how I go about getting there is another matter.... that I don't like doing.

1thud.gif
 
^ i cant remember my dreams @ all 99% of the time atm and the 1% i do are scarily preminitory, for instance i dreamed of a girlfriend of mine who i havnt seen in a year or so rocking up on a blue bycicle...Get a call two days later from this chick just to say hi n check my number was the same but it blew me out!!
If im not smokin or in the past been coming off this or that... My dreams get realy fucked up and graphic/disturbing/ weird and its not pleasnt @ all. The only thing i found helpfull in those times was the dream journal and exploration into lucidity which kinda took a while but i got it after a few months, wonderfull experience but then stopped:! Thered be a post about it from yrs back in the archive...
Sorry to hear ur havin hassles with this Ix. I'd kill for some good tripped out dreamtime atm. if i could swap ya for a week, even if it was fucked, id take it on to give ur head a rest and mine some form of nighttime stimuli as i used to dream alot and remember them and love the whole process.:\
 
With benzos you don't dream, just oblivion. Well, in the beginning...
 
^Funny u say that coz the dream activity dissapeared about the same time as my tollerence for xanax was building, a year and a half on and im no better, well maybe a little, asked doc if i could cut my dose by 2 mg and was told to leave it alone atm everytime i fuck with it you end up wprse off were the words that were used. But my dream activity was still somewhat effected b4 that i lay the cause of that on the fact i was smoking so much pot...

Chillaxing evening, watching the muppets with the kid, chinese chicken & rice for dinner, should be ok:\
 
I used to love dreams, these days they all involve me scoring some amazing gear, fixing a shot and either just as I'm about to dig or just as I'm about to push the plunger home, I wake up.
Then every time my thought process goes something like:
'huh that sucks, no worries I'll just do some of that kilo I had sat next to m- waaaaiiit a minute!", with the sudden realisation that it was all a dream, I don't have a kilo of fire, nor even a single bag and I'm now left craving like mad before I've even got out of bed.

Why brain, why must you taunt me to! :lol:

*edit*

Why are the evenings always the hardest!?
I was lucky enough to receive some unexpected cash earlier today, enough that I could spare a few bags worth anyway. I text my man but for some reason he didn't reply, and while stting and waiting for him to do so I kind of realised... what's the point?
It's not like I'm sick, I've had my Methadone today so there's no physical need for it. And what will it do? If I'm lucky I'll get really fucked for an hour at most, at worst I'll get a little rush and a few minutes of feeling 'high'.
Is it really worth it? Tomorrow morning when I'm once again out of drugs / money and am in the EXACT same situation as I am now, will it be worth it then?
I guess this is what they call will power, I'm not expecting it to last but it does make a nice change from 'I have money? excuse me while I fire it all into my arm as fast as possible' route that I normally take ;)
 
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I've been thinking about dreams a lot lately. I love dreams, even the scary ones. And I love the way that they color the next day with an added dimension if you can remember them. The problem is I hardly ever remember them anymore (don't know if that is age or life circumstances but whatever it is I'm pissed!) So a friend has been encouraging me to write them down and I've been trying that but the amazing thing is how small that little window between the two worlds is--you know, when you wake up and the dream is still present and then how just having your eyes open for 60 seconds makes it disappear back down to wherever it came from?

I don't know what it is about dreams, maybe the uncontrollable nature, the strange carnival sense, the cinematic imagery....whatever it is, I LOVE it!
 
i dont have dreams or remember them when i blaze. last time i quit smoking weed, I was waking up having bad dreams.

had to work today for a few hours, but it was a good workout rather than drudgery in a chair.

but good things are comin'.
 
Glad to hear you got some physical activity done kaywholed:) Sounds like u rather that which is a must in a job, if ya dont enjoy it its just so fucked. U right about the weed also many folks ive spoken to say the same thing.

Had a shit busy morning but woke up good, chillin right now only have to think about dinner and with whats there il b able to whip up something good if i am motivated, otherwise il go across to the store and get halfa chook n make pastabake to go with it or some shit.
Kid's off to first day of highschool tomorrow, she is such a little cutie in her highschool uniform... This boy from her school passed us @ the shops this morning and she got a ten second head turned dreamy stare from this lad.... I laughed coz it wasnt half obvious he fancied her.
I'm gonna have to watch her hey all the boys are already chasin her8(
 
i dont know what to do. I've take every drug I have left, 800mg of tramadol and 3mg of clonazepam, and I feel sober. Ive cut my left to shit and bleeding everywhere
 
Are you alone? Is there no one to help you? Put the sharp down first. Do that. Put it down. If you want, pm your number over and I will call you and see if I can get you the help you need.
 
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