• The Dark Side 💕 Welcome Guest 💕
    Posting Rules Bluelight Rules
    Notable Threads Urgent Hotlines
    Bereavement Mindfulness
    Suicide Support Anger Management
  • TDS Moderators: AlphaMethylPhenyl | paranoid android

TDS Social vs. where Darksiders come to play

Status
Not open for further replies.
i got a good (evil corp) job. i should eventually pay well, but right now its management experience so why not.
I hate the idea of the whole thing. I was kind of pissed I got offered the job, I figured the skeletons in the closet would have been seen and I wouldn't be considered. I guess they forgot about google... It's just like when I got accepted to school. I feel like their is pressure to go do this because its what you want if you want to be successful, so you can afford nice suits and car. I hate working to buy myself a tiny slice of happiness after 9-5 I guess. shit. I guess I am rationalizing a few years of corporate servitude in exchange for the financial ability to live for years in the 3rd world as a king (of the bums).

i don't know how to define my state of mind, its a mix of joyful excitement of new adventures and anxious fear failure.

even opportunities for success appear to be ambushes waiting to be sprung by previously trustworthy people. i hope 3000+ KM is helpful for paranoia.

I am not going to know anyone where im moving. so I guess I will be a total shut in, other than work (which is fairly social). the internet will provide any needed friendship here, although I have been thinking about trying to find people (girls) online to do stuff with. i would just like to be able to have dinner and watch a movie with someone once a week, because eating out alone is super awkward.
 
░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░
░░░░░▄░░░▄░▄░░░▄░░░░░░
░░░▄███▄░███░▄███▄░░░░
░▄█▀█▀█▀█████▀█▀█▀█▄░░
▀▀░░░░░░░▐░▌░░░░░░░▀▀░
░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░
░╔╗╔╗╔══╗╔══╗╔══╗╔╗╔╗░
░║╚╝║║╔╗║║╔╗║║╔╗║║╚╝║░
░║╔╗║║╔╗║║╔═╝║╔═╝╚═╗║░
░╠╩╩╩╩╩╩╩╩╩══╩╩════╝║░
░╚══════════════════╝░
░░░║║╔╗║║╔╗║║║╔╔╔╗░░░░
░░░╠╣╠╣║║║║║║║╠╠║║░░░░
░░░║║║║╚╚╚╝╚╩╝╚╚║║░░░░
░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░
 
Last edited:
Today a kid at my school died. I didn't know them, but I don't know what to think. I've experienced death before, so this isn't too bad, but it sure brought down my mood.
 
badfish45 said:
Today a kid at my school died. I didn't know them, but I don't know what to think. I've experienced death before, so this isn't too bad, but it sure brought down my mood.
Click to expand...

It is so hard to conceive of death in a young life:( I'm sorry, Badfish.
 
badfish that is really awful to hear man :(
Death is always horrible, but when a young person dies, I just can't make sense of it. SO unfair :(


kaywholed congrats on the job man! Even though you might not like the whole corporate thing, it's still good to have something to do every day, like, the routine of it keeps you focussed and motivated (I think, anyway). Keep us updated with how it's going!
 
a couple of weeks ago, i was shopping for foods, making my way to the bread when i saw this old-timer, looking half frutrated with people buzzing around him.

i went to the bread near where he was standing and knew what to do...


i look at him, and blurbed out, " why cant i find just plain simple bread?!?"
he asked what i meant, and came to look with me.

after explaining myself, he suggested Texas Toast!
said its great, for french toast..he started to withdraw a bit, and said that there are lots of people who like it anyway...i said that i like french-toast, and that sounded like a good idea!
he said to maybe, just freeze the loaf, and use it for that!

i put the bread in my basket, and he looked so surprised, and started smiling like crazy...i told him thank you..! =D he - said well sure!
and then i quickly wandered off.
that was one of the best $2.29's i have spent spent.
 
it was great, i, i, i have a different sort of presence - lol
:-x

and people can get a real jolt out of me, and this old guy, seeing me, knowing i wanted was seeking out his suggestion, which i was certain would of been good, was that jolt for him...and me still!


if i see him again, ill recommend TX Toast...lol..then he might step on my foot.

i love it, after 85, no body matters, you can be in a cab and just rip the stankiest fart, and since you are 85+, they eyes can burn in it hahaha - everyone strives such a chance.!
 
PIP that is a lovely story!! Made me smile :)
(The one about the bread...not the one about the taxi fart....) =D
 
Hey TDS Long time gone miss being here lots but moneys tight and ive just finished mving... computers dead so im in a cafe, just dropin bye to say hi probably wont be round long enuf to get much other postin done just wanna wish everyone well and the move has helped so much i finaly got a nice place to live in it has made SOoooo much difference...
Not much to tell apart from the fact im a bit more lifted im still in the same situation, but doing better :)
will be back this week hope to spend some more time here but till then stay well everyone<3
 
Good to see you SMFG! Having a good place to live makes such a huge difference in one's mental state, doesn't it?

Get yourself a netbook or something, and get back here on the reg, y'hear? ;)
 
my aunt gave me 50$ at dinner for going away.

she makes less money than me, and can't really afford to be so generous. so tried to give it back, she refused so I just put it in her bag.

i feel really guilty when people are nice to me, I guess because I want to die and don't want to see peoples generosity wwasted on a bad person like me.

i haven't told my mom yet, but I think once I move, i'm not going to talk to her anymore, I feel like I am a disappointment and a failure, and she would be better off just assuming I am dead or whatever.

oh god I need drugs before I start to cry.
 
Hey, Kaywholed, I hope with or without the drugs that you'll just go ahead and have a good cry. It's healthy to feel and IME it's usually scarier to try to not cry than just to let it flood.
Bad people don't feel guilty about people's generosity but caring, good people do. I suspect that your aunt loves you for all the good in you and that is how she wanted to express it. I think it was really nice of you to slip the money back into her purse without fanfare.

I know that my son who died often felt terrible guilt and shame about his life. He assumed that those of us that loved him saw him the same way that he saw himself. Nothing could be further from the truth. What pained us the most was feeling helpless in our inability to change how he felt about himself. I did not agree with many of the decisions that my son made, but I never felt that they made him a bad person. In fact, he was one of the most complicated and fascinating people I've ever known and his struggles were part of that. I know that as a mother I could never be better off losing contact with my child. I don't know what your relationship with your mother is like but I wonder if all those miles of separation could provide an opportunity for you to write to her about your real feelings.

I can really relate to your fear of failure that you talked about with your new job. I've fought that ridiculous foe my whole life. Years ago I finally learned how to stop making it a self-fulfilling prophecy but I still have to tame the feelings every time I do anytime I get a new job.

You say that you are going to be fairly isolated at first when you relocate. I hope you will keep coming here regularly as you settle in. Don't let those negative voices have the floor. You have all the time in the world to figure everything out. Mistakes, false starts,failures, wrong directions are just what we negatively label learning ourselves. What if we just called it learning ourselves?<3
 
I'm so fucking happy and excited!!!! I got the job :]!!!
92a1a3ff052f22d2ca6a83257af6c3af.jpg
 
Yeah! You got it!:D that is great to hear. I'm really excited for you because I know how much you wanted it.<3
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Top