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TDS Social vs. where Darksiders come to play

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My best friend is finally seeing the dark aspect of drug use.
Over the time I've been gone from Long Beach, he has morphed into an absolute addict.
He hates himself for what he let happened, yet he can't see himself without drugs and alcohol.
Hes barely mature enough to handle life with a sober mind, but all this bullshit has caused his body/mind/soul to go outta whack and everyone who knows him, especially him, is suffering greatly from it.
Im too far away to be a physical influence on him.
Im too far away to know if hes being honest with me and himself.
Im too far away to know whats happening to him.
and Im scared to death...


God, please give us the strength to get through this.
 
I know what it feels like to be that scared for someone; to be on the outside knowing that you cannot control anything, but wanting to. You do need strength and you also need lots of support for the times when you don't have any strength left. My heart is aching for you.
Much love, HWH<3
 
Hey everyone :)

Woot, woot on october 25th I will be 4 months sober and later today I have my first ever job interview. I'm super excited!
 
xstayfadedx said:
Hey everyone :)

Woot, woot on october 25th I will be 4 months sober and later today I have my first ever job interview. I'm super excited!
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Congratulations! that is very exciting! I hope your job interview goes well--they can be nervewracking:) Your positivity and excitement should carry you through just fine. Good luck and let us know what happens<3
 
herbavore said:
Congratulations! that is very exciting! I hope your job interview goes well--they can be nervewracking:) Your positivity and excitement should carry you through just fine. Good luck and let us know what happens<3
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Thank you! And yes it was very nervewracking when I was waiting to go to interview lol I was freaking out. Then the job interview happened and my nervousness went away I don't know how but the interview ended up going great :) She really liked me too and wrote tons of good notes down about me. Well now I have to wait for another call and then ill have an interview with her boss (their process, hope that goes well....). Yet, in the end it sounds like I have a good chance.
 
Bojangles69 said:
Sobriety is definitely something to be proud of. =[

I was just reading through my poppy pod taper thread and just can not believe that I went through all that bs, so I could wind up being sober for 23 days, then go to sub of all things.

Fighting an addiction really shouldn't be this difficult. I can not keep going through this cycle of use opiates> taper opiates > stop opiates > try to be sober off opiates for a week or 2 > transition to another opiate > taper that opiate down > LIKE WHAT THE FUCK!

I really have no idea what the phrase "bite the bullet" means. I could have let my addiction rest over a year ago but instead have been on sub now for 4-5 months. Like I tapered my poppy habit for 3 fucking months..... just so I could taper my suboxone for another 6 months.

Tapering is becoming too much an excuse for me to always be on opiates. Like it makes me feel like I'm doing a better thing than getting high everyday. And I am. But I can not keep getting low on my tapers than going back to using opiates. I have to look at things realistically now too if I could not manage life BEFORE when I didn't even have a job to go to, and was trying to get clean and did not succeed in THAT situation. How the FUCK am I going to succeed coming off opiates now and having a job?

This shit just keeps getting delayed delayed delayed.
I'm sick and fucking tired of being an out of shape, lifeless, boring mediocre opiate addict. Thats all I will ever fucking be is just piss poor and average my whole life if I never fucking stop this shit.

If this suboxone taper isn't my last opiate taper, and if I don't succeed getting off the subs like I could have succeed staying off the pods last time... I think I have no other choice but to admit myself to a long term inpatient rehab.

And then I'll sit in rehab and say over and over "wow those people are fucked up... that one guy started prostituting himself to get more opiates" and I'll never identify with any of the addicts, and even fucking rehab won't work cause I've tried the shit before and even though I'm fucked up I'm definitely not fucked up in the head like some of those people are.

I'm really starting to think I may have a much more serious problem than I think with drugs. Or maybe I just need to stop thinking about it idrfk anything anymore. I just hate this feelings thats all I know... and I'm not even sure what the feeling is. We'll call it dissappointment for simplicity sake...
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It so good to hear words on sobriety. I have SO much clean time right now. I do relapse, yes, but compared to my old-self, I am a new man!

Just got off the phone with doc, starting my script monday! Win!
 
^^ That is great to hear ss!! <3


stayfaded, congrats on the interview hun! AND congrats on 4 months sober, that is excellent :) Keep it up! <3
 
Yeah man I've been flat-out this week studying for an exam, and this weekend is super busy as well!!
All fun stuff though, so it's all good :)

How are you badfish? Got any plans this weekend? <3
 
When do you finish school n3o? Good luck wrapping it all up and then enjoy that deep sigh of utterly blissful relief! Still feels funny to me as I gear up for first report cards over here that you are totally winding down over there!
 
Thanks lovely! I still have a few weeks left, I think my last exam is mid-November some time. I must check that actually... :D

How are you herbavore? <3
 
n3ophy7e said:
Yeah man I've been flat-out this week studying for an exam, and this weekend is super busy as well!!
All fun stuff though, so it's all good :)

How are you badfish? Got any plans this weekend? <3
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I'm alright, better I suppose but a little crushed that the girl I like is dating now. But life goes on :) This weekend is homecoming, but since my school decided to make it a carnival....I think I might just hang out with friends and do some things I can't really talk about on here.

Good luck with those exams, I know you'll do great <3
 
n3ophy7e said:
stayfaded, congrats on the interview hun! AND congrats on 4 months sober, that is excellent :) Keep it up! <3
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Thank you n3o <3, I am happy to be doing something right for once. Hope I can also stay sober at least for the time being....time will tell though but I really did need this break especially after everything that happened this year.
 
haha wow sry guys came on here in such a rush did not realize i was in social, moving post to where i thought i was. I need to start paying attention to wtf I am doin.
 
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