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TDS Social Thread v. RIP tobala & junctionalfunkie, we love you both

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ocean said:
Spent the day with my brother- which was A BLAST. <3
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Yay!! <3


I bought my brother a CD for his birthday (which is on Christmas Day) and I'm just having a sneaky listen to the songs on youtube (NOT the actual CD, can't do that haha)

......there are only 2-3 good songs on it. Fuck!! I'll have to go back and get him a different one.

That's what I get for taking such big punts/chances with music, I get a lot of good surprises but also a few disappointments.

Lucky I checked the songs on youtube :D
 
Ocean, you rule in more ways than I can count, likewise with your hubby. <3 I'll see you in January.

TAOW, thank you for your friendship and affinity. Another friend sent me an e-mail with a quote: "if you think you're going to hell, keep going". I think it was Winston Churchill that said that, but it may have been someone else. The friend that sent this to me knows whereof he speaks. <3

Today I feel like an overly compulsive idiot. I am studying over the holidays and I drank last night. Nothing bad happened. I feel fragmented and lost. When I get like that, everything starts getting screwy. I am trying so hard to work today but as Yoda said: "do or not do, there is no try".

I want to follow that message but in the interim, I need to sleep. I get so stressed when I feel I am underperforming. I *am* my own boss at this point and how that happened is beyond me. I need to be a more effective leader, and to get my own shit together.

I think I can.
 
tumblr_ldg7j4TNRf1qa7auxo1_400.jpg
 
Merry christmas TDS. I don't post here often, but for one reason or another I may start to.

I would like to share something I just read, as it is beautiful:

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-12043294

It made me cry tears of happiness. :)

He had a warm smile on his face and true compassion in his eyes. He was a good man for its own sake and required nothing in return.
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Something to strive for.
 
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ocean said:
n3o- That sucks............hopefully you find a good one.
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I did indeed :)
Same band, but their previous album :)



Merry Christmas to all our lovely DarkSiders!! I hope you all have a lovely day whatever you're up to. Take care of yourselves and enjoy the festivities <3
 
^^ That is truly lovely US! :D <3

We must recognise that the suffering of one person or one nation is the suffering of humanity. That the happiness of one person or nation is the happiness of humanity.
~Dali Lama
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Today I feel like an overly compulsive idiot. I am studying over the holidays and I drank last night. Nothing bad happened. I feel fragmented and lost. When I get like that, everything starts getting screwy. I am trying so hard to work today but as Yoda said: "do or not do, there is no try".
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Feeling 'screwy' myself too ATM Posa! :/ Hope youl be ok hun and good luck working on grounding yourself. Hope you have more clarity after your nights sleep. <3

@ Ocean: Love the pic, many jolly returns :)...reminds me of my cat; we will be fending her off the Turkey etc tomorrow in the kitchen.

@ N3o: So sweet your taking such consideration with your Bro's present - why am I not surprised! ;)...and Ditto to the good wishes! <3
 
n3ophy7e said:
Yay!! <3


I bought my brother a CD for his birthday (which is on Christmas Day) and I'm just having a sneaky listen to the songs on youtube (NOT the actual CD, can't do that haha)

......there are only 2-3 good songs on it. Fuck!! I'll have to go back and get him a different one.
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Get him a Merzbow release!

Does he like dark ambient? Harsh noise? Drone? Beat-oriented noise? Psychedelic stuff?
 
So my two of my closest friend that flew in from opposite corners of the country for Xmas, without telling me, one of them contacted me last night...

first thing he says to me--in a text

"Hey dude, know where I can find weed? I want to smoke."

.... nice to hear from you, asshole. I thought you were one of my best friends. A mere Hello or Whats up would have sufficed. Haven't heard from you in months and the first order of business is asking for a favor?

And the other, well I still haven't heard from that one. And don't expect to. If I do, might wind up that I'm just too busy, sitting at home twiddling my thumbs of course, to hang out.

I hate people, even myself. I'm glad I can talk to the receptive internet, on this thread specifically, about it. It's so weird, misery really does love company. I appeciate everyone's posts on this thread, even though I know none of you, just because knowing that other people are wading through shit knee-deep as well makes me feel less alone. All of us can push through our respective quagmires of melancholy and malaise, it just takes patience and determination.

<3 Peace <3
 
^yeah, people can be real disappointing most of the time. For some reason, i notice how exceptionally self-centered people are around this time of year. Then I get pissed off because I start thinking that the reason I notice this flaw in others is because I have the same self-centered mentality (bleh!)

So... Mr TophamHat... I don't see any reason for you to hate you but I get it... I hate me too. Perhaps it isn't truly hate b ut, for me, a disappointment in myself combined with a fear of so many things

You seem cool to me %)
 
I hate me because hindsight is 20/20, and I can only find fault in every major decision I've had to make regarding my life since 2005. We all have regrets, I just can't seem to let mine go. If you brought 2005 me in a time machine and showed him 2010 me, Cartoon All-Stars! style, I probably would have fainted out of disappointment. It was/is like a giant downward spiral, sometimes it moves slow, sometimes fast. I think a lot of my despise toward myself is what you just said, fear and disappointment. Fear sucks :!

I was reading a Captain.Heroin post in this forum recently where he was mentioning how selfishness can be good, and he's right. So we shouldn't feel so down on ourselves about it or hard on others for it I suppose. :)? Merry Christmas OD.
 
went to a meeting tonight, was a 12x12 study, talked about step 11. which i'm not there yet, it was a small meeting anyway. when it got to me i shared about the shit i'm going through, and since it was an AA meeting i kept it pretty much on booze, I did talk about my addiction but i didn't specificy(sp).

good stuff herd in that meeting.
 
Holy fuck there's a mother of a storm cell heading our way at the moment. The air temperature outside has dropped at least 10C in the last 15 minutes. Hope we don't lose power.
 
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Hang in posa, my bad playin phone tag dude I was all over the place today ! Hope you guys had a good christmas :).
 
@Lolie: I hope you took pics.Violent weather FTW!

I hope that everyone had a decent xmas! For me, and I think for many others as well, the holidays can be a trying time for reasons various and sundry. This year was not unpleasant, but still had an edge of 'is this all there is?' along with the requisite annual tallying of score and silly consumerist/family psychosocial stress. Still better than most years, where I start getting bitchy in early Dec, and don't come out of it until February.

Anyway, Happy Day to my DS bretheren and sisteren, and may this coming year be better than then last! 2010 was certainly better for me than 2009, and I'm aiming to make 2011 a better year yet.
 
Dave said:
@Lolie: I hope you took pics.Violent weather FTW!

I hope that everyone had a decent xmas! For me, and I think for many others as well, the holidays can be a trying time for reasons various and sundry. This year was not unpleasant, but still had an edge of 'is this all there is?' along with the requisite annual tallying of score and silly consumerist/family psychosocial stress. Still better than most years, where I start getting bitchy in early Dec, and don't come out of it until February.

Anyway, Happy Day to my DS bretheren and sisteren, and may this coming year be better than then last! 2010 was certainly better for me than 2009, and I'm aiming to make 2011 a better year yet.
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I know what you mean Dave. I had a good Xmas season though, overall. Glad to hear it went well for you too! :)
 
Well enough. It was the least consumerist xmas to date for me, as for both the nuclear and extended families we did draws/exchanges rather than buying stuff for everyone; that helped a LOT. Family drama's been pretty low lately, which also helped. And my personal headspace has been better than ever, although it's been slipping the last few weeks. Hoping for a good reset on NYE.

My best friend is in town from TO though, which is good, but he's in the middle of a really tough separation and it just took a turn for the worse. It's like she waits for him to be vulnerable before bluntly dropping some bomb on him. I'm trying to keep from contacting her, but, well, I'm thinking very unyogic thoughts in her direction. We'll leave it at that.

But, I've been able to get some stuff sorted at the apt, and I've been playing with my new selzer bottles, and just loving 'em. Bubbly water >> still water, unless it's really hot out. Mmmmm.

Pardon the blether, I'm feeling a bit mellow. Since I braved some Boxing Day crowds-- not many mind you-- I figure that I've earned some mellow. Great to hear that your xmas went well CH!
 
Captain.Heroin said:
Get him a Merzbow release!

Does he like dark ambient? Harsh noise? Drone? Beat-oriented noise? Psychedelic stuff?
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Hehehe he doesn't like that kinda stuff at all =D
I got him Children Collide's first album, they're an Australian rock band. Here are a couple of their songs:
Farewell Rocketship
Social Currency


Lolie said:
Holy fuck there's a mother of a storm cell heading our way at the moment. The air temperature outside has dropped at least 10C in the last 15 minutes. Hope we don't lose power.
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Here is a photo of that very storm going passed my parents farm (on Boxing Day)
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Surprisingly i actuallly had a good christmas overall. Atleast christmas day was good and ive been feelig more or less ok as of late so things could be alot worse.

Merry christmas to all the TDSers and BLers in general <3
 
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