podsnomo
Bluelighter
I have indeed managed to stay clean. Day 33 here, and all is SOOO much better. My bank account too. Not spending a chunk of my paycheck every couple of weeks on a hefty package of kratom has equaled a pay raise. And I'm getting a bonus this coming check, and instead of being "happy" about getting to buy a shitload of kratom, I am truly happy about making plans for good things for that money.
As for your question about the taper: You have the right idea. I dropped by about a third every 3 or 4 days. When you say reused grounds, I guess you're making tea again or eating the leftover grounds? I was eating it al the time. At my worst I was eating about 90g of dried pod powder a day. One important thing about a pod taper is to grind ALL your pods all at once and stir that well so you have consistent mixture from which to taper. Otherwise, you could get some nice strong pods one day, and the next 2 or 3 days get weak ones and feel like total ass.
My taper was long too. I started this thread 5 months ago today, which was the day after my birthday, and I just reread my first post where I was already down to 3g a day. Damn, I don't remember, but I think I was tapering for like 6 weeks.
Oh, your question was more specific. The answer is, do what works, but beware of cheating. It takes a long, sustained will to fight through a taper. Remind yourself that you're headed towards freedom, put up a sign in big letters where you'll see it often that says "you're a wonderful person and you're doing something amazing" or something like that. I'd try to stay on a steady path, no upping, with your benzo analog, but don't try to taper or quit that too at the same time. One at a time. And as for that RC, man just smoke the ganj, or cut that out. IMO, the more you do to try to get a good feeling, the more likely you are to wind up addicted to whatever you use. I hopped around from drug to drug for a while, thinking I was quitting, bu never getting free.
The thing is, you gotta go through your kick. The freedom, peace, and joy I feel now as a clean man, I earned. You have to earn it too. Face your kick, wether it's a taper or CT, you are going to eel like shit for little while, but trust me please, it is SO worth it. If you want to get to the clean side of the universe (and really, it's a whole new, unimaginably better universe) then you gotta trudge that road to happy destiny.
I know it's hard, and I'm not judging you for anything. For me, when I quit kratom a few months after my pods kick, I couldn't taper, and did a CT that put me through about 3 or 4 days of shittiness. I got drunk (I'm an alcoholic) 2 of those nights just to get some sleep after 2 or 3 nights of one or two hours of sleep. So, if you have to, use something at the worst of it, but be careful. If it hadn't been for having a gf and a job, I think my use of alcohol those two nights might have returned to my previous, full-blown alcoholism. The insomnia and sleep deprivation had me insane, so one night I put down a pint of 100 proof vodka and the next night about 3/4 a pint, then the next night I was able to sleep with just melatonin, valerian, and OTC sleep meds.
So, my biggest advice is not to up the etizolam, just keep it steady, and face the kick. Use loperamide for the shits. It helps with some other symptoms too. It plugs into the opiate receptors in your gut. But doesn't cross the blood brain barrier, so it won't buzz you. Your colon is used to being bombarded with opiates and the host of other alkaloids in the pods. Remember, you're kicking a bunch of shit at once with poppies. So, if you need, take a double or triple dose of loperamide, and if you still have the shits, take more. But be careful, I took too much once and got clogged!
Also, when you get down to low doses and about to jump and totally kick, get some easy calories that are good nutrition. I did NOT want to eat, but I got some bananas, some vitamin-fortified protein powder, and some of those ensure-type drinks for old people. I'd blend that up with some soy milk and drink it down a couple times a day. It was a life-saver. It kept me nourished and strong when I couldn't eat, and from I've read, you need a lot of good protein on a kick/taper. Your brain and other organs use protein to rebuild the stuff that changed or quit when you started and then kept on using.
You can do this. It is worth it. You are worth it.
Believe. Hope. Persist. Recover. Rejoice.
Peace,
pods no more
As for your question about the taper: You have the right idea. I dropped by about a third every 3 or 4 days. When you say reused grounds, I guess you're making tea again or eating the leftover grounds? I was eating it al the time. At my worst I was eating about 90g of dried pod powder a day. One important thing about a pod taper is to grind ALL your pods all at once and stir that well so you have consistent mixture from which to taper. Otherwise, you could get some nice strong pods one day, and the next 2 or 3 days get weak ones and feel like total ass.
My taper was long too. I started this thread 5 months ago today, which was the day after my birthday, and I just reread my first post where I was already down to 3g a day. Damn, I don't remember, but I think I was tapering for like 6 weeks.
Oh, your question was more specific. The answer is, do what works, but beware of cheating. It takes a long, sustained will to fight through a taper. Remind yourself that you're headed towards freedom, put up a sign in big letters where you'll see it often that says "you're a wonderful person and you're doing something amazing" or something like that. I'd try to stay on a steady path, no upping, with your benzo analog, but don't try to taper or quit that too at the same time. One at a time. And as for that RC, man just smoke the ganj, or cut that out. IMO, the more you do to try to get a good feeling, the more likely you are to wind up addicted to whatever you use. I hopped around from drug to drug for a while, thinking I was quitting, bu never getting free.
The thing is, you gotta go through your kick. The freedom, peace, and joy I feel now as a clean man, I earned. You have to earn it too. Face your kick, wether it's a taper or CT, you are going to eel like shit for little while, but trust me please, it is SO worth it. If you want to get to the clean side of the universe (and really, it's a whole new, unimaginably better universe) then you gotta trudge that road to happy destiny.
I know it's hard, and I'm not judging you for anything. For me, when I quit kratom a few months after my pods kick, I couldn't taper, and did a CT that put me through about 3 or 4 days of shittiness. I got drunk (I'm an alcoholic) 2 of those nights just to get some sleep after 2 or 3 nights of one or two hours of sleep. So, if you have to, use something at the worst of it, but be careful. If it hadn't been for having a gf and a job, I think my use of alcohol those two nights might have returned to my previous, full-blown alcoholism. The insomnia and sleep deprivation had me insane, so one night I put down a pint of 100 proof vodka and the next night about 3/4 a pint, then the next night I was able to sleep with just melatonin, valerian, and OTC sleep meds.
So, my biggest advice is not to up the etizolam, just keep it steady, and face the kick. Use loperamide for the shits. It helps with some other symptoms too. It plugs into the opiate receptors in your gut. But doesn't cross the blood brain barrier, so it won't buzz you. Your colon is used to being bombarded with opiates and the host of other alkaloids in the pods. Remember, you're kicking a bunch of shit at once with poppies. So, if you need, take a double or triple dose of loperamide, and if you still have the shits, take more. But be careful, I took too much once and got clogged!
Also, when you get down to low doses and about to jump and totally kick, get some easy calories that are good nutrition. I did NOT want to eat, but I got some bananas, some vitamin-fortified protein powder, and some of those ensure-type drinks for old people. I'd blend that up with some soy milk and drink it down a couple times a day. It was a life-saver. It kept me nourished and strong when I couldn't eat, and from I've read, you need a lot of good protein on a kick/taper. Your brain and other organs use protein to rebuild the stuff that changed or quit when you started and then kept on using.
You can do this. It is worth it. You are worth it.
Believe. Hope. Persist. Recover. Rejoice.
Peace,
pods no more
