Hi thanks for the response. First for the Weed, I have a very very good source and I never changed it, matter of fact the strains now are even stronger than in the beginning plus I mainly smoke hash now (since it’s more potent) for at least a year or so.
The working out makes sense, I wish I could do more sports, honestly I do, before I became a Junkie I was an avid climber. I even participated in competitions when I was around 20. I never had what it took to go professional though (I am very light weight which is good but with 6’4 and relatively long limbs I am too long for professional super hard climbs, the top athletes are almost all very short, except for Ondra of course) but I would say I was on the upper end of hobbyists since I hit the climbing gym 4 sometimes even 5 times a week. At one point my fingers and hands got too worn out but still I didn’t stop, the main reason I quit eventually was my best friend (who was also my climbing partner) of all time completely cut ties with me (for the most sad reason, after years I passed the entrance test to an elite med university and he still hasn’t graduated high school yet so he became jealous, despite me pushing him and wanting him to succeed all the time, he was the only friend I’d consider was like a real brother to me, I still miss my bro). So when he was out I mainly just did bouldering but alone it just wasn’t the same and I slowed down a lot. Then came 2024 the big breakup with my dream girl and I started doing drugs. That’s when I lost 95% of my friend. I only have one homeboy irl left now who stuck with me, everyone else gone, so it’s sad and I have no one to climb with again. I will try bouldering again though. The whole thing about sport climbing that caught my eyes was that it’s not just monotonously picking up weights over and over but using your brain and agility to solve puzzles and reach the top of a route.
For jogging, that’s another issue, I developed a functional issue with my nose in the last approx. 5 years and it only got worse. I have to get a CT soon. Especially at night or when I do sports it swells up and I can’t breathe through my nose, which I hate, I hate breathing through my mouth I never do it, so I use a spray to reduce the swelling, they said “only use it for a week or two”, well it’s been almost 5 years and I use it every night because else I feel like suffocating. Needless to say I need a surgery on my nose, it’s even gonn be covered by insurance, which is amazing, the issue: I am still on opiate substitution and I want to be completely clean from opiates before I go under anesthesia because I am not doing it with that high year long tolerance.
sounds like excuses and to an extent they are but especially the issue with my nose currently is really bad, btw it is inherited since my cousin, other cousin and mother all had to have the same surgery for the similar functional issue, it didn’t come from me snorting too much drugs. I rarely ever snorted drugs. I never did cocaine/Meth etc, the opiates I did during my early junkie phase was pills at first, then later on I was always boofing (o-desmethyltramadol, Morphine and another RC opiate similar to Morphine) hit really really hard through the anal columns. Occasionally I inhaled some too (well, the few that are smokeable with a tinfoil at least, particular that one RC opiate that’s like Morphine I forgot the name of it… I never did H). I only snorted Ketamine twice and maybe Morphine a couple of times but in total no more than 10 times. I always hated snorting. Nowadays I only take pills, smoke Weed and vape (nicotine).
Back to the topic: I will try to frame it differently in my mind, even with my issues, I will at least try to do as much sports as I can right now, I will jog, even if it’s just a small distance at first and I will go bouldering alone again. Hopefully I can taper off this year and do the nose surgery at the end of 2026 so next year I can start doing sports and living much healthier again. It’s a goal of mine
