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Support For Those Affected by the Addiction of Others

LilLuvli said:
....He says that he uses it because he's in physical pain.....I personally think it has little to do with physical pain and is more of a coping mechanism for him. I'm not sure if that's a valid explanation though?....
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No, it's not a valid reason (although heroin is used for pain relief!). Using a drug to psychologically cope with a situation is abuse (of the drug). If he really is in physical pain, and the current dosage is not creating effective analgesia, then he should revisit his GP and figure something out! That's what physicians are for, it's not his position to be self-dosing/treating :\

LilLuvli said:
........Since I was 16 I've never been scared of him until now because I know of stories of how addicts can react. I also know this is something I have to figure out for myself I guess I've just been looking for others with personal use of it for me to get a little background on and opinions from.
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Drugs - and addiction - do/can change people, for sure. However you're the only one, in the best position, to see whether these changes are/will be detrimental to you/are a negative impact to you (and your life). Really no one here can (or should) tell you what to do. It's a difficult situation it seems! Good luck!
 
Hey there.

It is definitely a tough situation for you to be in. You start to see your partner differently, and they act in ways they normally never would. You feel helpless...

For every addict there is at least one person in their lives that suffers with them, and often because of them. I think it would help if you spoke to other people in similar positions. There are local groups that do exactly that. Al-Anon is one of them if you are in North America.

You cannot make someone truly stop using, but you can help them explore the ins and outs of their addiction by asking questions, and being there to listen. You can amplify their drive and determination to stop using when they have it, and help them through times when they are wanting to give in. It all relies on open communication and lack of judgement. The change indeed does have to come from within, but you can help it along the way if you two resonate properly.
 
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Hey and welcome to blue light.. If you have not already please read through this entire thread.. there is an absolute wealth of information and links in here. Also there is an account I a mother and her addict son who were able to cut through the emotion to some degree and talk about this in an open and loving manor. The results IMO were pretty amazing. It can be pretty difficult to live with and love an addict.. so as venrock suggested i would strongly consider seeking help, wisdom and support from others who know exactly what you are going through. There are links early in this thread to different support groups of people who love addicts.

After you read about the experience of the mother and her adult age child I would think of a way that you could try and achieve a conversation on that level with you SO.. As addicts are often dishonest, emotional and defensive about drug and alcohol use this can be a little tricky. I think one of the most important things to create in order to try and reach this level is a clear picture of safety, non judgement, and love.

A good way to kinda find out what goes on in an addicts head is to read through blue light and just listen to the stories and the emotions and the users and addicts.. If you take a little time to try and understand us it makes it allot easier to let you into our worlds.

Please keep us informed of how you approach it and what happens.. often you will get really good advice and your recorded experience may help others who find themselves where you are now.
 
Parent of heroine addict needs guidance

Hi my son age 30 is an heroine addict. He was clean 18 months and week ago started using again. I need guidance I'm scared to death of losing him. 18 months ago when I found out he accepted help he wanted to be clean. Now he lies to me about using but he did confide in his girlfriend who informed me of his using again. I really don't know what to do. I've prayed so much my knees are bruised. Any advice is much appreciated.
 
Hey Niese and a warm welcome to BL:)

What has he tried to do to address his addiction so far?
 
Magnolia New Beginnings
Magnolia New Beginnings, Inc.
PO Box 1359
Marblehead, MA 01945
Call: 855-95-RECOVER (855-957-3268)
Email: [email protected]

Magnolia New Beginnings, Inc. is dedicated to advocating for those affected with the disease of addiction, creating educational opportunities to inform and raise awareness about substance abuse, and supporting addicts and their families in the process of seeking recovery, maintaining sobriety, and reaching their highest potential through a new beginning.

Magnolia New Beginnings was born out of necessity. As the opioid crisis, and addiction in general, continues to take its toll on our friends and families we at Magnolia banded together to pass on information that we gathered in the process of helping our own. Our goal is that no one should suffer alone or be unable to find help in whatever form it is needed.

The tide is turning and the stigma is slowly being lifted. Surgeon General Vivek Murthy spoke on October 4, 2015 at the Unite to Face Addiction Rally in Washington DC. He stated, “We’re going to stop treating addiction as a moral failing, and start seeing it for what it is: a chronic disease that must be treated with urgency and compassion …” So you all have my word: that as long as I am in this office; as long as I am wearing this uniform – I will stand with you. I will stand up for recovery. And we will face addiction together. "

Records gathered from police, courts and the medical examiner shatter stereotypes about who gets sucked into this deadly vortex. It's not all young adults. They are homemakers, professionals, students and laborers. With every new set of statistics we see the problem expanding deeper into our communities and killing people at unprecedented rates. Every passing leaves a devastated family. Magnolia attempts to support the families left behind with groups for grieving families.

What Do We Do?
Education and Advocacy: In an effort to advocate for addicts and their families as well as educate the local community on the dangers of substance abuse, particularly opioids, and create an awareness of the disease of addiction we speak at and attend various local community events and disseminate information relative to addiction awareness and where assistance for the addicts and their families is available both in person and online. We are a source of information on prevention, resources for treatment options, and support for the addict and their families during the process of finding the appropriate care. We do this by creating and maintaining information on available resources.

Supporting addicts and their families in recovery: Many addicts have exhausted their family’s financial and emotional resources. They often enter treatment with only the clothes on their back. Families are steered toward support groups that can help them support instead of enable their family member. Recovering addicts in treatment are given access to transportation to treatment facilities, sent care packages consisting of a variety of necessary and supportive materials such as clothing, hygiene supplies, cards and games, books and other materials. Families are given access to an online network of support of parents in similar situations across the country. Grief support groups, both online and with monthly meetings, are listed and assistance in creating a support group is available.

http://www.magnolianewbeginnings.org/index.html
 
Hi Everyone, I'm very interested in this aspect of Sober Living but wonder if it's still active. Thanks! MayrShea
 
Im curious of a few things:
- how to tell if my bf is on suboxone vs.using heroin or other opiates
-can he get high off suboxone
-can he take suboxone and recover without rehab or other means of support

I "think" he's taking subx for about 2 days, hard to day bcuz he's been denying he was using anything at all prior to.... but he definitely was using! & last cpl days I've noticed his eyes are not 'pinned' but still some what nodding, not nearly as bad as b4. I wish he would just be open with me about it... I found 3 subx in his wallet so I know he had then for a reason, ppl don't just carry that around with them. I'm just not sure if he's into chipping or actually trying to get clean. I've heard him say in the past about not doing the same drug for more than a few days so as to not being addicted. I've also personally witnessed him losing that battle to main lining heroin. I know you can't tell me what's inside his head, but the 3 questions posted .... is there something specific I can look for to know what stage I'm actually dealing with at this current moment?
 
Update: I know it hasn't been long, but dropping the ice cream bowl 4x last night and nodding out in midst of making out (I felt a bit humiliated) .... he was definitely not taking suboxone. Im afraid the house will burn down of that cigarette falls when im not babysitting through this.

At least he was a bit truthful, claiming the (2) 10mg percs were the culprit, I pressed with "babe, that's not 20mg of percs" I've taken that for my neck pain and I'm a lightweight as far as drugs/medication goes. He realized after dropping the ice cream a few more times and me catching the bowl that he was outed and betrayed by his friend the opiates. "Ok, I took a red one." 60mg oxy. But he "doesn't really even like those, prefers the roxys"... I asked him to please consider getting help.

Side note: I'm tired of not having sex, I get bitchy. He swears one has nothing to do with the other. So not true! I know where we were at a few months ago in that department. It's not lack of physical attraction on his part...I see his eyes light up and he even goes through all of the appropriate actions, things just 'don't work'.... he's very into me, he's not cheating, well he is...just with a narcotic, not a woman. I can't compete with a synthetic opiod. And now I've been outed by my own addiction.
 
I know these still may be half truths Broken74 but in the short term it does sound like your 'soft' chipping into his claims appears to be paying off somewhat.

The sex thing is not a side note, and an addiction to a healthy SL with your partner is of course not an addiction at all, just a deep desire for something that is genuinely positive - it's a basic emotional and physical need from ones partner when in a close relationship but unfortunately (again you guessed it) opiate use is extremely good at suppressing ones appetite for such.......
 
steewith2ees said:
The sex thing is not a side note, and an addiction to a healthy SL with your partner is of course not an addiction at all, just a deep desire for something that is genuinely positive - it's a basic emotional and physical need from ones partner when in a close relationship but unfortunately (again you guessed it) opiate use is extremely good at suppressing ones appetite for such.......
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Words of wisdom :)
 
I started a new thread for Imwideaw4ke. below is Broken74's reply to the OP of the new thread I created (originally posted here). Apologies for any confusion.

Broken74 said:
Sex is vital to me and I'm at a point where I know it's addiction also. Why does he get to get high daily when I can't even have sex once a month?

This morning, as he was completely sober and leaving for work he said "I know I have an issue and I promise im trying to get through it and will work on it" . I thought that was a tremendous step. Last night was awful. I'm surprised he remembers any of our conversation.
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^^^above was my reply to Stee, I'm fairly new to forums so I think I bombed that one.
 
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