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Suicide thread, for assitance and support for all things related to suicide

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For anyone on bluelight who know my entire situation, it is just getting too much. I gave my mom all myu script hottles but keps some pill out of each for this weekend. Sometime si cant take it anymore. Sometime sI just dont care if I wake up. Maybe tonight'll be tat night. Im going to bed. My klonpin/soma/seroquel/methadone/neurontin/diphenhydramine combo shoudl help me sleep
Thanks to all you who gave a shit especially purple_cloud. If I am here tomorrow, then I know I failed at yet anothe rthing in life. I succeed at nothing, and couldn't even suceed in killing myself. Fail fail fail.
If i'm not, then I guess I succeeded and can finally see my dad again and hopefully someone will be proud that i finally suceeded in one thing in life.

Goodnight

Mike
 
BrokedownPalace said:
For anyone on bluelight who know my entire situation, it is just getting too much. I gave my mom all myu script hottles but keps some pill out of each for this weekend. Sometime si cant take it anymore. Sometime sI just dont care if I wake up. Maybe tonight'll be tat night. Im going to bed. My klonpin/soma/seroquel/methadone/neurontin/diphenhydramine combo shoudl help me sleep
Thanks to all you who gave a shit especially purple_cloud. If I am here tomorrow, then I know I failed at yet anothe rthing in life. I succeed at nothing, and couldn't even suceed in killing myself. Fail fail fail.
If i'm not, then I guess I succeeded and can finally see my dad again and hopefully someone will be proud that i finally suceeded in one thing in life.

Goodnight

Mike
Click to expand...

Mike you're going to be okay man. I really hope you wake up tomorrow, knowing that you've SUCCEEDED in staying alive. Having the courage to stick around and work through your problems is definitely not a fail. Let us know that you're okay when you can, please? There are a lot of people right here on Bluelight who want you to stay with us, not even to mention your family and friends.
Much love <3 <3 <3
 
BrokedownPalace said:
For anyone on bluelight who know my entire situation, it is just getting too much. I gave my mom all myu script hottles but keps some pill out of each for this weekend. Sometime si cant take it anymore. Sometime sI just dont care if I wake up. Maybe tonight'll be tat night. Im going to bed. My klonpin/soma/seroquel/methadone/neurontin/diphenhydramine combo shoudl help me sleep
Thanks to all you who gave a shit especially purple_cloud. If I am here tomorrow, then I know I failed at yet anothe rthing in life. I succeed at nothing, and couldn't even suceed in killing myself. Fail fail fail.
If i'm not, then I guess I succeeded and can finally see my dad again and hopefully someone will be proud that i finally suceeded in one thing in life.

Goodnight

Mike
Click to expand...

Mike, I really do hope you wake up tomorrow...I know you were having a rough time tonight, but you really do have a lot to look forward to. Your dad is looking down on you, I'm sure he misses you but doesn't want you to join him just yet...I try to think that way about my mom too (<3 RIP to both of them ) but I really hope you're alright. You'll probably read this in the morning, or I'll hear from you first I hope, but I'm definitely thinking about you. Lots of <3 hun, you'll get through this rough patch, I know you will. You have my number, feel free to call me ANYTIME.
 
Mike I hope you did fail because then that means you are still here for us! If you feel like no one in your life needs you then you are wrong. I don't know you, but I would love to get to know you. Sounds like we have the same pain. We are all here (on BL) because we can not find people in our lives that understand what we are going through. Lean on us, use us for why we are here. Please Please I hope you woke up this morning. Also I really hope that you reach out to someone you trust that can help you, or you can contact me at any time.

<3 <3 <3
 
Yes. Thank you everyone on here who has taken their time out to chat with me. I'll be ok. Today is day 1 of my quest of conquering the beast known as methadone, so wish me luck. I have the meds, plan, support, and determination this time to get off of opiates completely.
 
good man! just been skimming your story and past couple of posts... you can do it. PM me if you need anything brother.
 
I can't get the thought out of my head. i want to run away but i dont have anywhere to go, anything to do. my life is just pure shit right now.
 
Yeah I know suicide isn't the way out, I just dont see any way that this can end. I owe so much to so many people, and I have a BS dui ticket from out of state (I blew .00 twice so they took a blood sample and said they found drugs, i was only on phenazepam so i think its a shit case) but no one will help me unless I PAY them which I obviously cannot do. It really sucks having severe panic disorder with real serious financial problems. And I can't ask my parents for help, I can't imagine what they would say and how much worse it would make me feel.
 
MescalitoBandito said:
Yeah I know suicide isn't the way out, I just dont see any way that this can end. I owe so much to so many people, and I have a BS dui ticket from out of state (I blew .00 twice so they took a blood sample and said they found drugs, i was only on phenazepam so i think its a shit case) but no one will help me unless I PAY them which I obviously cannot do. It really sucks having severe panic disorder with real serious financial problems. And I can't ask my parents for help, I can't imagine what they would say and how much worse it would make me feel.
Click to expand...

It's still a bad idea to drive intoxicated on any substance, though.

Nonetheless if you weren't driving recklessly I don't think you obviously really deserved this ticket.

If they are charging you with a DUI but you blew a 0.00 twice, they'll probably think the US government is just ripping their son off, like any intelligent parent should.

Try to focus on moving past this and getting to a better place. Best of luck.
 
Thanks, even though this is still worry me, I won't panic or anything until I get my actual trial date (and then I can file a motion of discovery).

I got a job interview today! And I wrote something creative for the first time in years. Think I'll go for a run. Much love people, thanks for your support!
 
careful you dont get a job you hate. you may just need the money. I often think about death as im working my night shift. Not many more jobs out here though. Dont really know what to do, well i do, just dont see myself getting any immediate solution.. Dont really have any friends anymore, just people to get high with. Dont know how im gonna be optimistic and find myself out of this hole..
 
They cancelled the job interview...I don't even have people to get high with, or drugs. Or a car. Or anything but debt. If I honestly thought I could do it I would kill myself in a second. But I don't have a gun or massive sedatives so I guess I'll just sit here alone and wait for the next panic attack to come...
 
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