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Suicide thread, for assitance and support for all things related to suicide

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CoffeeDrinker:

Thanks for the response.

I haven't taken Adderall in 5 days or so. It has done terrible things to me: changed my personality, made my attention MUCH more scattered, impaired my memory severely, and more.

I KNOW that the whole world wants me off it. I lost my kid because of it. Today I have slowly allowed the thought to roll around in my mind: When do I stop Adderall? Do I keep the Klonopin? Begin Strattera?

Do I admit that I DID abuse the Adderall? The judge is going to askme. EVEN MY DOCTOR gave a written statement that I misuse my Adderall. Even though the evidence he used to come to that conclusion is FAULTY (terribly insensitive drug tests)... There is way too much EVIDENCE that I have no way to plea "not guilty".

In fact, I'm thinking of going to the State Hospital for a month or two. That way I can take my meds properly, quit smoking spice + tobacco..... 3 meals a day....... Let my monthly money pile up a bit so I can get a place.......

Once I get stable there, I'll be able to get the job and stuff. My mind is weak. I think I need medical supervision to stay off the Adderall and practice healthy routines. Substance abuse/self-medication has EXACTERBATED mental illness in me. I truly believe that I need long-term mental health recovery. Homelessness is the other option.

When you are optimistic, I truly do appreciate it. When I'm at my baseline (even without Adderall- I've only been taking it 11 months.) I'm the sickeningly optimistic voice in the crowd.

Thx again
 
Hey i was in and out of the hospital in late september and all of October. It was the best thing that happened to me because it got me out of my downward spiral and it gave me the jolt I needed to do things the right way. Or at least, more right than what I was doing.
I went from suicidal mess with cops showing up at my parents house looking for me to actually trying to gas myself in my parents garage to a LONG ASS waiting room (that was an experience unto itself) and then the psyche ward, then group therapy. It got me back into my rroutine of suboxone, and I have been away from opiates since. The suicidal thoughts crept up here and there and I backslid with my depression once I was on my own again, but I never went back to the drug.
Sometimes just a break from your daily routine is all it takes. I see nothing wrong with living in the psyche ward for a little bit.
 
Seith said:
Psychological. Made it to my Mums and she took me back to the psych ward and they think its in my best interest if they change my meds and have me stay a little longer which is all I ever fucking wanted from them. These doctors are so fucking thick I may as well be talking to an empty chair.

Thanks for the quick responses guys, I would have replied sooner if I was in the right state of mind.

The reason I live is for my family. There were things done to me as a child and if I mentioned it I'm sure it would destroy them, yet I let it destroy me so they may have peace.
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You can still talk to someone about it, even if you don't want to share it with your parents.

There are a lot of caring people in this thread, and all over The Dark Side. Just choose one person and let them know what's been eating you up inside. It'll help you feel much better.

Please be knowledgeable about any side effects and drug interactions about any drugs you may be going on - some people don't know how bad some of these psychiatric drugs can really make you feel if you have a specific reaction or interaction or side effect.

mami said:
Considering a heroin overdose, not for today but reminding myself that the option is there.

More immediately, I want to speed and fuck.
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Please don't do that, you have a lot to live for. Your daughter may not be with you right now but her life will be changed forever if you take this way out.

I hope you can forgive yourself for whatever you may have done while under the effects of a grey-market drug which has caused enough people to have a psychotic break from reality.
 
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life on heroin sucks!! life without it isnt worth living. i try to escape from its grip but it just gets tighter...
 
Sorry so little Scientific/Rational Stances. No time right now!

Disclaimer: I'm fucked in the head, screwey on a Chinese-born chemical, MDPV or Meph, whatever that terribly truth-serum stuff is. Just dont read if you will judge. I don't care, ATM, HOW i communicate. It's the COMMUNICATING that matters. I have no shame, no ego in this space, nothing to lose. I'm looking for people who can relate. And like to tell me- Less talking, lady of youth. Listen to me. Slow down. Look at yourself in the mirror. I need a wise one to remind me. So many things. sO

Quickly as I'm short on time, It is in FACT a selfish act.
 
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this is indeed a valid debate of morals or beliefs, and although the thread is in the same context; the premise of this discussion is not.

it is rather diverting to open and see honestly...

to become so involved in such a discussion is understandable but, please, can we agree to disagree or draw a conclusion.?


<3
 
Yes, and also, may I remind you all that this thread is for SUPPORT for those who are currently suicidal or trying to help a loved one who is struggling etc, NOT for discussing the morality and ethics of suicide.
We are here to help one another, not to argue.

Thank you.
 
Hello. I'm the third mod to reiterate that this thread is for assistance to those in immediate pain or for SUPPORT of those in pain or anything along those particular lines.

This thread is not for philosophical debates, personal moral or ethical beliefs, conjecture or theory.

To be blunt. No one gives a fuck what anyone's personal belief system is concerning suicide. We DO give a fuck about relieving the pain and helping individuals in gaining another day, another chance, another perspective to get them through their present 'now'

If you see that you have a post that is no longer showing up, please take a look at the two recent friendly reminders that have been disregarded (quoted below):

panic in paradise said:
this is indeed a valid debate of morals or beliefs, and although the thread is in the same context; the premise of this discussion is not.

it is rather diverting to open and see honestly...

to become so involved in such a discussion is understandable but, please, can we agree to disagree or draw a conclusion.?


<3
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n3ophy7e said:
Yes, and also, may I remind you all that this thread is for SUPPORT for those who are currently suicidal or trying to help a loved one who is struggling etc, NOT for discussing the morality and ethics of suicide.
We are here to help one another, not to argue.

Thank you.
Click to expand...
 
My best friend ate all his pills this morning, literally minutes after I left his house.
What's fucked up is that I left to go to the ER cause I've been sick. Not even 10 minutes later, I get a call from him saying that he took the pills and the cable installation guy came to install shit, saw that he was fucked up, and called 911.
So I guess if its not their time, they won't die.
I sat in an exam across from him, listening to everyone question him. He's gonna live. I just want to talk to him. But he was unconscious when I left.
But I still feel bad cause he was drunk and talking about suicide more than usual, but both of us always talk about suicide, so I figured he was just drunk and upset and would be fine when he sobered up. No. I love this guy like a brother, I only have 2 friends, and he's one. The other is an hour away. My life is falling apart, I'm stressed, I need drugs to sedate myself cause my heart is going crazy, yet I need to stay awake for work. gotta answer questions about why my friend isnt at work like nothing happened.
Honestly I sort of wonder if it wasn't his time, and I know its not mine...would i die if I tried? Just to prove the theory that if its not your time, you ain't going. I don't know. I'm all fucked up mentally and physically. Stress. And no friends to talk to. No one. Just me.
 
^^^ stay strong. I know its hard and you are feeling alone. but when things settled down the 2 of you should talk and see whats up. Situations are temporary and can change, you have to trust the fact that life is worth it and that there are people who care about you. <3 <3 <3
 
ZAP there are a lot of people right here in TDS who are here for you. I know it's not the same as face-to-face contact but you're definitely not alone <3 I am so glad to hear that your friend is going to be okay. You're right, it's not his time yet, just like it's not your time yet. I hope you get to speak to him soon so you can rest easy. Will he be at home tonight when you get back from work?
 
zombiesarepeaceful said:
My best friend ate all his pills this morning, literally minutes after I left his house.
What's fucked up is that I left to go to the ER cause I've been sick. Not even 10 minutes later, I get a call from him saying that he took the pills and the cable installation guy came to install shit, saw that he was fucked up, and called 911.
So I guess if its not their time, they won't die.
I sat in an exam across from him, listening to everyone question him. He's gonna live. I just want to talk to him. But he was unconscious when I left.
But I still feel bad cause he was drunk and talking about suicide more than usual, but both of us always talk about suicide, so I figured he was just drunk and upset and would be fine when he sobered up. No. I love this guy like a brother, I only have 2 friends, and he's one. The other is an hour away. My life is falling apart, I'm stressed, I need drugs to sedate myself cause my heart is going crazy, yet I need to stay awake for work. gotta answer questions about why my friend isnt at work like nothing happened.
Honestly I sort of wonder if it wasn't his time, and I know its not mine...would i die if I tried? Just to prove the theory that if its not your time, you ain't going. I don't know. I'm all fucked up mentally and physically. Stress. And no friends to talk to. No one. Just me.
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This isn't your fault, and your friend is going to want to see you at his bed side when he comes back out of it. <3

I am so glad he is going to live and I'm sure that he will be grateful for your friendship during his ongoing recovery.
 
he's in ICU. I can see him this morning. I know he'll be grateful that I came to see him, cause he has no family here that would give a shit, aside from making him feel like shit for attempting suicide.

I stood in his house today, hovering over his massive amounts of seroquel. Yeah, i thought about doing the same thing he did. But I didn't. He didn't take those, for what reason I don't know. I've taken them before. I'm thinking of grabbing a couple to sedate myself, cause I'm so stressed it's not even funny. I appreciate the support here in TDS.
 
zombiesarepeaceful said:
he's in ICU. I can see him this morning. I know he'll be grateful that I came to see him, cause he has no family here that would give a shit, aside from making him feel like shit for attempting suicide.

I stood in his house today, hovering over his massive amounts of seroquel. Yeah, i thought about doing the same thing he did. But I didn't. He didn't take those, for what reason I don't know. I've taken them before. I'm thinking of grabbing a couple to sedate myself, cause I'm so stressed it's not even funny. I appreciate the support here in TDS.
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ZAP you might not realize this but you are a huge support to me as well. :) Your friend will be so happy not to be alone - it'll give him a feeling of reassurance that wasn't there before in his life.
 
A friend of mine attempted suicide a few days ago by running his car into a tree. Apparently he had lost his job almost a year ago and had pretended nothing had happened and continued to pretend to go to work because he didn't know how to tell his wife or anyone else. He finally snapped and tried to check out because of it. On top of it, both his mother and father have both killed themselves several years ago. Also, his wife's mother committed suicide one year ago, so his life has been surrounded by this torture of the selfishness from suicide. He slammed on the brakes just before hitting the tree and survived because of it.

I had no idea what to tell him, but today I spent the day with him walking around town. He was really happy to spend the day with a couple of his friends. It became obvious that all he wanted was to be accepted and to be loved. That's all I could do, was to accept and love him for who he is and to tell him that he is loved, and I think that that's the best anyone could have done for him today.

He is going to be getting counseling and declaring bankruptcy to start a new life over. This incident has left me wondering how anyone allows themselves to be so self destructive (including myself). It's a wake up call for all parties involved.
 
Wow man that is quite a story. I am SO glad your friend changed his mind literally at the very last second. You're right, being there for him and telling him that he is loved is extremely valuable thing for him, you're a good friend. I wish him all the very best in recreating his new life <3 :)
 
I overslept and didn't get to see him. He was moved to the psych unit yesterday, where he's not allowed visitors for 3 days. But I know he's gonna live now.

How often do you think the average person thinks about suicide?
 
^^^thinks about their own death?
in ways i'd bet 1/2 ones life...

" This incident has left me wondering how anyone allows themselves to be so self destructive (including myself). It's a wake up call for all parties involved. "
-wolfgang

such thoughts* dont need to be wasted,
look into your Void, your Grave Zombie-;-p - dont you see what missing?

only you body and maybe an initial sense of fear is there if seen this way, but what can be taken from bellow, and into a higher-meaning of oneself ... a sense of destiny can be ascertained from such a view, as a 3 sided cube, what is it that holds you-your shape?

what points of 'self need to be connected, with what and how?



<3
 
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