Suboxone Dilemma - MERGED

[jake99]

thanks man , been on subs few months but i dont use them right. take them when i cant afford dope.............as of now im on day 2 of subs after dope binge and still feel shitty . yeah N.a. hasnt helped.........i may just fill last 30 subs i got sittin at pharmacy because i cant afford to keep paying for them every month . or to keep up dope habit

 

[aCzarnecki]

Jake I don't think it's your fault dude at all just sometimes I think it's from write the way you write. It always seems to be lacking emotion and very "3 word sentence" like which makes people think you don't at all deeply think about things or get anything into your head. THAT DON'T MEAN IT'S TRUE I just think if you feel attacked at all, or if people are getting frustrated with you, i think both sides should understand=)
Though I can't help but say BL and TDS especially has always been there for you and tried their best to answer your every worry and question even if repetitive hun- and some very amazing advice and help from seriously like everyone that replies to you and if anyone is getting frustrated, if I may speak for most, it's cause they care and want to make a difference and help ya.

But I wanted to comment on the way you word things because I understand that you totally may be thinking like "wtf of COURSE I care and blahblahblahmeaningful thought" but you don't write like that and you shouldn't have to, it's just more of a relaying your feelings type deal, because you might come off misunderstood.
Take MOI for example- I write fucking novels ALL THE TIME [I am sure you don't need any convincing on that one lol] I am the complete opposite... I write so much people most likely start toblock out most of my writing [even though every word I write I mean wholeheartedly... and that's why I can never shorten or compact my responses lol]


ummm k just throwing that out there.
conclusion: Jake- people are trying to help you and you're not showing much results through your responses... and this wouldn't be much of a big deal [at least not talking about harm reduction for a moment] if you didn't constantly make threads full of repetitive anxieties and rather redudant issues [so it seems ... and that's ok.. just it seems like you never took advice]

and to the rest of us... maybe possibly Jake's close to one word answers are a little discouraging and don't fully convey what he is trying to say though there's more than we assume?

also, sorry If I am making assumptions myself and totally missing the boat here. If so, I genuinely apologize in advance.

ALRIGHT SHIT SORRY I COULDN'T RESIST SAYING ALL THAT
AND I am always wishing you the best jake! I sincerely hope you work out your problems in life and can get a clear conscience and just relax and enjoy life sometime soon though I know it's tough =)

10-4 I AM OUT

I have to agree with the above post.^^

You just added more stress into an already stressful life. Not to mention just how stupid it all was, you or someone could have been seriously hurt. You are lucky it wasnt worse...

 

[jake99]

Thanks again

 

[batmanplaybaseball]

My two cents,

DO NOT go and report your action to the police. If you called and they had no warrants on you or your car, leave it at that. Do not question anyone else about this. Stop thinking about it. Stop talking to people about it. I have to say that you will more than likely get away with this one. Just remember how shitty it feels to be lying in wait of the law coming down on you, and make your best effort to not end up there again.

 

[aCzarnecki]

Please FFS, learn from this and try to use it to help u quit somehow. Consider urself very lucky and perhaps u should use this as a 'wake-up' call and benefit from it best u can.

 

[jake99]

people are tellin me they could get me for it months later ?? or have warrants out already ?

 

[stuckinaloop]

Btw, how much damage do you think you did? If your liscence number was taken then the police are most likely aware, but if it was pd only, and minor at that, then the need to ticket you will not be a huge priority for LE
I dont think i did much damage to their rear end........my hood was all messsed up though, you said if its PD only , whats that ? if they ticket me will i recieve it in mail or just have warrant put out ? when i called courts they ran my license and nothing came up

Jake I don't think it's your fault dude at all just sometimes I think it's from write the way you write
i feel you on that, usually i am so tired i am writing to get it done , like right now im exhausted and a little dope sick . if i was feeilng good id probably be writing much better.........

How do you know no one got hurt if you drove off after you hit the other car?
i dont know for sure ,but i didnt hit them hard enough to hurt someone

If he's not willing to change his behaviors that got him here in the first place (dope, DWI) then what else can we do?
I am trying to kick dope once again...............i tend to make it couple days on subs then cant take it and end up copping..............
id just go to detox if i didnt have a family that doesnt know and school that im in ..............

hey man just wanna add my 2 cents...im sure 99% of people will hate on this but

my opinion is get on a methadoen program asap

i was doin the same thing man, dope to bupe to dope to bupe i was always quitting detoxing and i just basically was half assing it going back and forth like crazy

i got on methadone..used a few times my first 2 weeks, and havnt picked up sense

I am at 80mg...meth does have it's side effect,s but overall I feel stable, emotionally and physically.

just the fact that you have to go dose every day...ensure you will take your dose. sure people use on top of meth but honestly all my cravings are gone, and i use about 2-3 bundles a day. (used)

i dont get high anymore becuase of a few things,

1. no craving
2. even when I do crave..since you have to dose every day, I know that I dosed today, and if I want to get high it will not be cheap/easy so there is almost no point

honestly thers all this legal shit going on right now, and I am just so thankful that I am not in the midst of a hardcore H addiction where I am needing to cop every day and sick as a dog. life is actually pretty simple, and I have loads more money to spend on other stuff...like things you will have to show for the money you spend not shit that goes straight up my nose or into my veins.

i also spend a lot on weed, and to my delight, my clinic does nto test for weed~! so I am psyched.

I am just sayin man, I dunno, I know how hard quitting is.

I am/was just like you, I always wanted to quit but I wanted to get high, I wanted to quit tomorrow but get high today, every day

i am by no means cured or anyything now..but atlesat for the time being, I am not puttign my self at risk fo getting another felony / robbed / and putting my body at risk with iv complications all that bull

My plan is to stay on meth for a few months..dunno how long, but while on it to completely disconnect my self from the drug scene (accept I still been smoking weed).

then I am slowly tapering and going to get back on bupe for a month or 2 and not use at all (and hopefully have more luck at doing that since I have disconnected my self from teh lifestyle) then oneday be clean!! if that day ever comes

 

[stuckinaloop]

people are tellin me they could get me for it months later ?? or have warrants out already ?

just a sidenote

yes you can be commited for a crime months later


there was a huge bust in a town my friends live in, in 3 days over 80 people were arrested...and they werent picked up as they were copping from their dealer



some of these people were clean for over 2 months, this was a year long investigation and they were slappin people with conspiracy to posses a sched II based off of license plates. it';s so shitty../.its like you are already addicted and they are just makin it worse, plus you finall,y get clean then you get in trouble for using, so fucked up.

cops went to their houses based of plate numbers, jobs, cops were callin kids cell phones and shit, pickin people up literally everywher eand just throwin them in a van. the whole city hall was covered with narcs on wednesday just droppin more and more people off fuckin parked all over the lawns and shit

if you wanna see the article lemme know.

but on the other hand, if you are gonna get arrested for it, whats gonna happen is gonna happen, no reason to bring and added attention to you becuase it sounds like chances are you are fine.

i would just wait it out, maybe in a few months call or go in say your identity was stoeln and you want to check for warrants, or say you are getting a background checka nd just want to make sure befor ethey find something

 

[jake99]

In camden they had to overturn about 180 arrests because the cops there were dirty , planting dope on people and stuff..........
im gonna just stay on subs for awhile , and maybe ill get a lawyer to check and make sure im ok before i got away to europe in june

 

[jake99]

Coming off dope getting tough............

for last year or so ive been doing either dope or suboxone every day almost .............started out more as subs and less dope and ended up more dope and less subs.......
today is day 2 off dope ............3 mg sub yesterday and was def sick.........abuot 8 mg today and not as bad but stilll not great .......my habit is dope few times a week , could do a bundle in a day easy .......then taking subs on other days to fill in
Anyway the depression seems the hardest part to take..........thinking about family problems and fear of things i did catching up to me (like getting in trouble for stuff i did while high )
Been going to n.a. and plan on weaning with the 30 subs i have now (dont want to keep paying for them every month )
Even if i wanted to go back on dope theres no point , i dont have the money to afford a dope habit....so maybe im clean just for that reason but i know wherer dope leads annd i dont wanna go back to prision !
any advice for a taper.............im thinking
4 mg / 2mg/ 1 mg/ .5 / .25 stop.................??????????????

 

[bagochina]

For me I had to change my whole thinking and friends to shake the urge to shoot dope. It took a LONG time for that to happen. The first 3 yrs I was on bupe I was doing what you are doing using and taking bupe on the side, something happened at the 3 yr mark where I began to distance myself from that lifestyle. I than stayed on bupe for 5 more years because I was nervous to get off it because I didnt trust myself and my thinking.

What I would suggest is to stay on bupe for a little while longer like a minimum of months and get rooted in a habit of not using and not associating relief from a shot of dope. Prison is a good motivator but we all know motivation is not everything. It has to happen from with in you. For me using dope was full of nostalgic memories and I tended to block out the negatives and would only associate it with positive things which always brought me back to the white powder.

Would you rather pay for subs or pay for bail? If bail was even possible...

Just rambling about my experience yours can be completely different. Its fucking hard to cut something so prominent out of your life. Maybe try to find somethings to do to make you feel better about yourself, volunteer or go for a bike ride. lol easier said than done I know but the more you stop thinking about it and concentrate on other things the easier it gets.

I havent touched heroin for 5 years except for one slip over a month ago that came out of absolutely no where and kinda scared me. 16 days clean from op8's today I still am not where I want to be and I beat myself up over that ALOT but I have to remember I am right where I need to be and to quit stressing.

So yeah stick out the subs a little longer, whats the rush...

peace.
seedless

 

[jake99]

subs used to work great before i got a bigger habit , now they just stop sickness barely , they used to have me high

 

[bagochina]

Ive never got high from subs, slight comfort feeling or more so relief yes. How big is your habit? Subs held me fine and I was doing upwards a gram a day for years before I went on them I was taking 32mgs for awhile though. I have heard ppl say they dont work for them so well so I dont know. If you still want to feel high'ish go on methadone but IME methadone was a hell of a drug to become dependent on. I got stuck on that shit for a couple years and had to go back to shooting dope to get off it.

And believe me I tried hard to get off I got down to about 18-19mg and every mg just was so painful and just sucked pretty fucking bad. Who knows though now that they have bupe out alot of ppl make the switch from methadone to bupe as it is one of the few ways out IMO.

I dont know... Just basically stating what I did.

peace.
seedless

 

[Foul Play]

I'd throw my vote at sticking with buprenorphine (maintenance). You can use it as a means of detox, and I'm sure that works great for many people, but I have yet to meet a long term opiate addict that has stayed clean after only using it to avoid their heroin (or whatever opiate) withdrawal.

You have an IV heroin habit. Your brain is programmed to use opiates to maintain a normal state. That doesn't go away after the kick. Almost everything in your life has got to change if you really want to get clean.

I've been on buprenorphine for almost 3 years. I was still using dope pretty regularly for the first year, much like you have been. It took a very near fatal overdose in a real fucked up situation for me to give up dope. I guess some might call that rock bottom. It wasn't to me, but it really made me think about where life was headed.. and it wasn't anywhere good.

I'm obviously an advocate of replacment therapy. It's made my life 100x better. I know there are people that don't need it.. and don't aprove of it. But a lot of us truly need it. I'd say you're a perfect candidate. Be it suboxone or methadone, once you get accustomed to it your life will most likely be a lot better. And once you got your life together thats the time to get off drugs.

 

[panic in paradise]

jake, you've got a lot on your plate.

you have made several threads discussing, or asking questions about recovery, and opinions on circumstances in your life at this time.

it seems the most recent would fit together well as journal type thread, keeping them together instead of dropping out. i was just curious to see what you thought about that is.


youve got a lot going on, and have received some excellent advice, it could be nice ~in ways~ to see it all together, after this has been licked, and some years have passed.


ill send some heart your way. stay focused, stay strong.

 

[jake99]

thanks sounds good.........i think ill just kick with 30 subs i have i cant afford to stay on them loong now that i lost my job, stuffs been rough lately with my parents , and getting in that accident...........

 

[panic in paradise]

yeah, sounds like it... those are all large events, traumatic events, mile stones.

your are doing good. keep in touch with us, stay in touch with yourself too. you have the answers usually, it takes courage to face them, and start taking the steps away and on into life again.

i hope these threads of yours can be organized for you to look back on. rake it from me, its amazing sometimes what you will find from the past; a bad night, a revisit to a messed up crazy part of your life, in your words.

 

[ech0s85]

dude even if the cops do come for you youre better off than if you had stayed at the scene. Im pretty sure leaving the scene of a non injury accident is a way lesser crime than DUI. Ive known people who were drinking and driving and crashed at a major intersection, and got out and ran leaving the car in the road to hide until they were sober and couldnt be charged with dui.

 

[jake99]

yeah day 3 today with sub

 

[jake99]

lol true