Thanks. I think the acute withdrawal was over a month long.
I still have peripheral withdrawal symptoms like yawning, eyes tear up, goose bumps, stomach on "fast" mode. I still have real intense REM sleep but it doesn't seem to be affecting me as heavily. The nightmares were really bad for a while. Oh and I always have a high heart rate (abnormally high for my build).
I think all my mental problems account for my panic attacks so I am accepting it as it comes.
Honestly I am really happy. I wasn't happy for so long and after I got happy again it was like I knew I would get my life back and after that point (9ish months ago) I knew I could get my shit together and mentally and physically withdrawal from bupe.
I would go more into this but it's boring and more suited for Trip Reports. I just wanted to let you all know that we are all a lot stronger than we give ourselves credit for and to keep doing well for yourselves.
I use to always have an abnormally high heart rate, this was a problem prior to my opiate addiction. Even when I was not overweight and exercised regularly. I will run normally in the upper 80s and low 90s for beats/minute. So when I would smoke weed it would routinely get into the 100-120 range which was always good for some anxiety. If I did some cocaine it would usually put me into the 120-130 range. I ended up having a severe anxiety attack one New Year's Day when I was very hungover and smoked a couple hits of weed. It was so bad I felt off for weeks. Aside from chalking it all up to anxiety, the only thing I could think might've happened is an inner ear infection or vestibular malfunction (look it up if you care to know about it). The symptoms of it were very similar to my situation and the onset of it can result in panic attacks very often.
So anyway, I ended up going to legit primary care physician for the first time in about 8 or so years because of this. They put me on a beta blocker which they Rx'd for hypertension, but it really does more for my baseline, borderline tachycardia. Now I run in the 60s, and once I began to exercise regularly and got in better shape I was running in the 50s at rest. I really think beta blockers are better for the heart rate issue and palpitations if you get them. So I would honestly consider asking for a small Rx of one if the high heart rate is enough to bother you on a regular occasion. It really helped reduce my anxiety. I take one called nebivolol, its relatively new and gives me very few (really no) side effects. I literally only take 1/2 the normal starting adult dose and it drop my heart rate from 80-90 to 60-70, plus it really helps limit palpitations induced by anxiety. The full dose was really too much for me, I cut it back myself and the dr was fine with it. Because the full dose had my rate dropping below 50 at times, which is no bueno, plus I was getting a bit dizzy from it.
I know when I begin to withdraw off my Suboxone, one of the first things I notice is the elevated heart rate. And considering I take the beta blocker I know it would be thumping away if I didn't take the B blocker. It seem the elevated heart rate from Suboxone w/d is more pronounced than from the full agonists I have w/d from, I can't figure why that would be, though.
It even sounds like some of those other symptoms like the goose bumps and stomach issues could be helped with a non-selective beta blocker, like propanolol. But those bring a lot of potential side effects into the equation. Not to mention any B blocker has rebound effects when/if you stop it.
Just thought maybe you'd be interested in my story there. I think in your situation anything that is a low risk medication and could have positive effects on how you feel is something to consider. It does kind of suck because, even though it has no recreational value whatsoever, it is another pill you are basically chained to taking every day. But regardless, best of luck with keeping the wheels in motion. I hope I can get to that point one day and be free of the bupe. Unfortunately at this point in my life I have too much going on to put my focus on it, but in a 6 months to a year my life will hopefully be stabler and I can strive towards that.
edit: heh, that was a real long post just to make the point that a beta blocker can lower your heart rate, which is probably common knowledge anyway...but the 1 I am on really works great for it, I've been very happy with it.
I'm going to try again once this shit I got earlier is gone.. its so hard with such little support from my boyfriend and none from my family. My boyfriend also uses and says he's gonna get high if I do, but if I stop so will he. It just seems to complicate things.. I wanted us to get clean together..
