I have a question for anyone who has kicked either bupe or methadone and stayed off for some months. Particularly I am hoping for some replies from people like Captain Heroin and Cane2theLeft, as I recall reading their posts when they were down to low doses of bupe.
I'm at 12 days since my last dose (1mg) and have not been able to find many valuable posts about PAWS. Or rather, I've read dozens from people who were only on bupe for like 1 month-3months, or even 6 months, but the consensus seems to be that it is alot harder and more protracted in case of longer addictions. I was on bupe for approx. 3 years.
So I just wanted to ask the people who have had a long-term addiction to bupe/methadone whether, when they cleaned up, there was a point after which they felt noticeably better. Or whether they just noticed one day that they felt better. It seems to me almost like getting through acute withdrawal is the easy part, because you have something to look forward to, and know that it absolutely will improve. But with PAWS it's alot more vague, and it's all mental, so that the thing you would be using to look forward and to hope for something better (your mind) is itself all fucked up and dysfunctional.
I'm eating better and sleeping better. I'm almost completely off diazepam which I've been using for about 10 days (now at 1mg). But if anything is going to make me fuck up, and if there will be anything I just can't bear, it's this paralysis and constant angst and loathing. It's like the longest ecstasy comedown ever.
S