I agree my point was, Trying to find more people that are coming to find that they are still addicts. I E I know that the pattern that I am in is one of an addict. I would like to start finding people on this forum who are about getting off suboxone completly. And no offence taken at all alot of my posts on here are rants that dont really start or stop. which ur right I should stop thats not helpful to anyone...
My point is can anyone talk to me about how to break the cycle. Since I started shootting my subs I can't take them normally. Pretty much Im a poly addict. anything that will get me a high I will do and abuse. I know that most people are gonna say go to your theropist and talk to h im about this. But I can not do that I need to talk to people here because I can not tell him the truth ect.
My problem has never really been My life ect. It is I like to get high. I like dopamine and seratoin releaseing into my brain. I can't figure out how tappering my dose is going to help. I can get off suboxone pretty much w.e I like. BUt see Im never going to LIKE to haha.
My pattern of maddness is as fallows. GEt off subs, have a few good months start smoking pot. doing alota LSD then starting to shoot heroin once every few weeks for a couple days . Then I will get sick from one of these relapses with dope and Start to use every day. this will become unmanageable and I will get on suboxone and then the patteren will start over.
I think to some point it might be I have not hit my Bottom but I dont think I have one because This cycle can always be done. IT is something that is always a possiblilty. I dont know how I can get myself to stop liking to get high. Who wouldnt like to get high, I mean we are chemically fucked to love to get high. So how DO I STOP THE cycle.
If the things I am saying dont get you mad and you think that your like minded and Have the same pattern or you like the IDeas I bring to the table PLEASE please freind me or just PM me and we will start a conversation that will hopfully Get us to a True place of sobriity.. and happyness...
Anyway JAMES BROWN I hope my grammer is better ect lemme know what u think buddy
I think alot of what your problem is that your mindset is all off. And this isnt necessarily your fault. Maybe your not mature enough yet to move on in life and be happy without using chemicals to get high(I mean no offense by the "not mature" remark).
Your right...it's human nature to WANT to alter our conciounse through the use of psychoactive substances. Its perfectly normal, and it can be a lifelong urge that can have VERY beneficial effects on people....allthough, as you well know, it sometimes leads to addiction and other horrible things. Some people live there whole lives and have AMAZING "relationships" with certain drugs.....like peyote, marijuana, amphetamines, etc.....many drugs can be taken on a regular basis, throughout your life, with little to no negative effects as a result. It depends alot on the person who is using these drugs and the success of these relationships is ultimately based on the ability of that person to be in the right place mentally, so they can continually ingest psychoactive drugs in a beneficial manner.
I think one of the problems your experiencing is that your mentally stuck. You are stuck in "get high" mode becuase your brain has felt how wonderful it can feel to ingest certain substances and it wants more, and more. This is a very common occurence, especially for younger people.....during the process of becoming adults, we come across drugs that make us feel euphoric, high, tripped out, etc....and we like it, and we want more and more of it and sometimes we end up with a bad addiction....and other times we end up with great relationships with certain substances....and sometiems we simply "outgrow" our need to get high and move on.
But you mentioned something in your post about being in a "cycle".....a cycle of using subs to get clean, getting off of them, having a few months of sobriety, smoking weed, taking lsd etc.....taking heroin every now and the, taking heroin everyday, then back to taking suboxone to get clean. Believe it or not this is an extremely common cycle that many people are familiar with. You also mentioned that you wanted to BREAK this cycle and somehow BREAK the urge to want to get high. Well, I can tell you its possible to break that cycle, but I doubt it possible to get rid of the human instinct to want to feel good(i.e. get high).
The best thing to do if you want to stop using drugs, therefore causing you to want to get high even more, is to find other outlets that get you high in different ways than a simple chemical injection. Alot of the time people abuse drugs is to get high, but the whole reason they want to get high is because something is not right in there life. For example, they feel that they dont have enough/any friends, or maybe no one understands them, or maybe something happened in your life that was so traumatic that you havent fully faced the issue and therefore use drugs as a way to get over your fears. Sometimes there is something wrong in your life and you dont even realize it, let alone realize that that is the reason you constantly want to get high.
Try getting another hobby, or getting a girlfriend, or doing something that will NATURALLY release endorphins into your brain. This WILL get you high, but in a more natural, healthy way. And it is a much more manageable way than compared to the cycle you were describing above. You may not realize it but you could subconciously feel like a loner, or are sad about your family situation and that is why you abuse drugs....well, you will need to face those issues and get over them to ever get out of that cycle. There are MANY different reasons why people use drugs and only YOU can figure out why you use them. No one else can answer that for you.
So if you truly want to break this cycle, and get clean and stay clean, you need to do something for yourself. you need to either be more actively pursuing natural highs that are healthy and beneficial to you, or maybe you need to find an underlying issue that needs to be faced and overcome. The problem is that doing this takes ALOT more effort than it does to simply use a drug and get high. And it can be hard, annoying, challenging, frustrating, seemingly hopeless, along the way.....but in the end that truly is what you need to do to stop your uncontrollable urge to get high. because your never gonna not wanna get high, but you can control that urge, and eventually get high in more productive ways.
