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Stupid thing i wrote.

Ghettochrist

Bluelighter
Joined
Feb 26, 2007
Messages
654
Location
UK
Don't give a fuck.. means something to me.. see if anyone else things it's any good:

You tempt me with your warming glow.
You pull me in but the heat is cold.
The seering warmth is nothing but a freezing burn.

Like a nitro punch you fuck me up.
You pull me in and make me buzz around your magic promise.
You show me everything but give me nothing.

Tingles you send through my skin...
a craving, a lust, an eternal sin.
Something you'd always start but never begin.
 
I like it man. Im not much of a poetry fan but I liked that. Imo, the only thing I would change is the use of the term 'fuck me up'. Everything else is so deep and it just seems to me that that line doesnt do the rest justice. My two cents.

Its real good though, would love to hear more. :)

Js&Rs
 
Thanks will take that into account, didn't think anyone would read it let alone comment tbh, i just felt like writing it but yeah i agree with where you coming from, cheers!
 
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