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stuck with a cheater

justinn

Greenlighter
Joined
Dec 8, 2013
Messages
2
hello !

About a year ago i met a girl at the university . we took the same course. She was pretty and interesting but after a couple of days i saw her with her boyfriend so i said to myself she's off limits. Day by day we became fiends until one night in a university party we were drunk and she hit on me out of the blue. We had sex and this continued for about a month only when we were drunk. She said that she loved her bf and won't leave him and i said that this can't go on and we should stop talking and so. She seemed ok with it no problem.(what a slut i thought).
But the heart wants what the heart wants. I had feelings for her. I tried very hard to avoid and not talking to her. During the next 6-7 months i saw her like 2-3 times by accident or in some friends gatherings. I was polite , friendly but distant. even met her bf once (awkward) . I met another girl we were together for like one month but obviously she was still in my mind . so we broke up , it wasn't fair for the girl on my behalf.

All this until one month ago were out of the blue she called me in the middle of the night asking me were i was. I knew i shouldn't tell her but i could not help it. she came found me with two of her friends in a bar and after we had sex . Everything came back. She said should have chased her more and that she thinks i will be her next bf. after that sex again a week later and then she disappeared again. Her girl friends know about me and seem to like me (maybe thats a good sign) .Sometimes she seems sooo into me. I know she just using me won't leave her bf but when the time comes i can't resist.
i can find sex elsewhere but its not the same.

I know she's a cheater and not worth it and and and but.. either i must have her (heart) or must forget her (right thing to do). i tried both with no results.

i have no control over the situation
 
I met another girl we were together for like one month but obviously she was still in my mind . so we broke up , it wasn't fair for the girl on my behalf.

It's also not fair to have sex with another guy's girlfriend... but that hasn't stopped you.

This girl may seem like the one... but honestly... how will you feel if she dumped the other dude, and became your girlfriend?
When she calls you up and says... hey sorry... I can't hang out tonight... got to study for my mid-term.... Would you believe her? Or would you start to think that she's out fucking other dudes behind your back, because well... that's the type of person she is.

You do have control over the situation.
Stop fucking her. Or... don't. And continue to be the other guy.
 
Of course you have control over the situation, but you keep choosing to be available to this girl. You already know there's not much of a chance of developing a serious relationship with her. Seems you have acquired feelings too, so what do you really want to do about this?
 
i know its not fair . I'm wrong here and i know it. The confusing thing is that everything came back although i avoided her for the last 6-7 months. I mean i tried to do whats right but…
 
you know what you should do. you've got people here confirming that for you. but at the end of the day, sometimes you just have to get fucked over yourself to believe it. good luck.
 
Of course you have control over the situation, but you keep choosing to be available to this girl. You already know there's not much of a chance of developing a serious relationship with her. Seems you have acquired feelings too, so what do you really want to do about this?

This +!

You really fell for this girl but the sad truth is she is with her bf and she already mentioned to you that she is not going to leave him. It is bad to continue to do this as it's not only affecting you but also the poor bf so my advice is to just get over it. Lotsa fish in the sea!
 
You have control over this situation. Don't lie lol.
 
Here is the thing, you know the deal. She wants to have casual sex and she was honest enough to spell it out. You want something different.

You have feelings for her. That just is not going to work.

Ask yourself if you can carry on with her and not become emotionally attached? That is a tricky one because you already are. Its not really anything embarassed about to fancy this woman, but the thing is you are developing an unhealthy infatuation that will most likely cause you much heartbreak.

You need to realize her bf is not the obstacle and you will never be with her. Even if you did end up in a relationship with her, she would fuck around on you.

I suggest you use a rubber because you are not the only guy she is shagging behind her bf's back.

You seem like you really like her and I am telling you that it I doubt you could carry on with her without being hurt as you already are hurt. You will just be a booty call. So take it or leave it.

I am not going into the morality of having a relationship with someone else's gf. She is gonna fuck around on him regardless.

The question is whether you want to be a booty call or not. The answer may be yes, but it is most likely no. I sincerely suggest that you do not delude yourself about what type of person she is. Also if she fucks around on one person, she fucks around on everyone.
 
It's also not fair to have sex with another guy's girlfriend... but that hasn't stopped you.

This girl may seem like the one... but honestly... how will you feel if she dumped the other dude, and became your girlfriend?
When she calls you up and says... hey sorry... I can't hang out tonight... got to study for my mid-term.... Would you believe her? Or would you start to think that she's out fucking other dudes behind your back, because well... that's the type of person she is.

You do have control over the situation.
Stop fucking her. Or... don't. And continue to be the other guy.

^^ This is putting it perfectly.

You have control over this situation. Don't lie lol.

Exactly. I agree :p

If you want to help this girl cheat, go ahead. But is that the right thing to do? Do what YOU think is best. You have control over the situation. You can say no.
 
You're not stuck with a cheater at all. If you feel that way then it's because you allow yourself to think that way. This girl is not an ideal partner if monogamy is what you are looking for, and maybe you're not. It doesn't seem likely that she even has a fraction of the emotional investment that you have, she seems to look you up when she's looking for a good time and can't be bothered the rest of the time.

It's time to move on to greener pastures.
 
This scenario hits way too close to my paranoid mind. Except I'm the guy getting cheated on.
 
@Boupstarnm, if I were to give advice to the guy getting cheated on, it would be GET OUT OF THAT RELATIONSHIP. The girl has no clue what she wants and you shouldn't be in a relationship where someone is cheating on you.
 
I don't know. No strings attached sex with a hot chick ? Personally, I would keep hitting it until the right girl comes along. Just act like you don't really care much for her, and she will keep coming back for more. But that's just me. Don't be a chump and tell her you care for her, yada yada yada........
 
justinn said:
She said should have chased her more and that she thinks i will be her next bf. after that sex again a week later and then she disappeared again.

She's manipulating you, saying exactly what you want to hear so that you'll stick around for her to have her way with at her convenience, regardless of what it does to you emotionally.

You have complete control over this. Tell her not to contact you again and then delete/block her number.

Boupstarnm said:
This scenario hits way too close to my paranoid mind. Except I'm the guy getting cheated on.

While you should give her a chance at fixing things, at some point you have to start protecting yourself and not trying to protect the relationship.
 
"Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option."

I'm in a similar situation right now and I've determined that I'm not getting what I want out of that relationship, and I never will as long as he has a girlfriend. I'm in the process of distancing myself emotionally from this individual, but it is definitely easier said than done. If she really liked you, she would dump her boyfriend and start a relationship with you. Simple as that.
 
I must say that you shouldn't have fucked her if she had a boy friend but some girls can make you do shit you shouldnt. You need to fuck her... I mean that in a non sexy kinda way... Video tape yourself having sex with her and send it to her boyfriend... That should solve all of your problems bro...

She wants you to be fearless and take her. Shes a freak and wants something to happen that isn't normal with a ton of possibilities. Will my bf kill him? what will my friends think? blah blah blah

Oh yeah and on a side note.. Once they break up and you dealt with her ex boy friend you need to start beating her... ROFL dude...
 
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