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stuck on smack need advice im in a bind and dont know what to do

Well i guess i got a choice today i could go back to my friends where i been living and get my suboxone then get a cheap motel which i could probly afford 2 or 3 nightd and kick or i can wait for the methadone which could be a day or 2 before thsy happendms but i dont know whst im gonna say if i just go there to get the subs then leave right away. ugh this sucks ass
 
I dont know how this thread would be considered ODD. Im trying to figure out what the fuck to do. mayne you havent expirienced the real fucked up dark side of this addiction obviously you havent if this thread seems odd to you. if its soo odd then mayne you should go post somewhere else itsallfake
 
hey guys.. ..

sms80 you should try and check out smart, all the meetings are up around the lincoln square-ish area. i put up a link in this post directly to there times and locations. just like nsa was saying the formate is totally different i find it to be a more open group approach. tomorrow would be a great time to try and contact dan b at the chicago recover alliance. if anything he would be a wonderful person for you to chat with for more support and maybe he has some suggestions in helping aid your current situation. their motto is- any positive change. their site and contact are one the first page of this post. if you can not directly get in touch with dan let me know and i can help you with that.

i say forget about the methadone at this point as it seems to be stretching things out. i really support going to your friends house where you have been staying, try to talk with him and see whats good... might be some great stability! or if you feel more content in the motel then giddy up... .. you already "right now" able to get some suboxone, neurontin and colnzepam to help you. plus smart/na, c.r.a and bluelight!!
 
I dont know how im gonna get all this together fuck everything is so fucked up right now itd like a bad dream and i just wanna wake up from it
 
try making a list of things you need to get together and or get done in order to start your detox. as you accomplish them cross them off, this will help give you direction.

try looking at what you have to work with and all those positives. try to calm down and start the list... it could be the beginning of a really great journal you can look back on as a record and inspiration in the future. have you spoke at all with the friend you are currently living with? that might be a good #1 "to do"...
 
No i havent talked to him since i left a week and a half ago. he text me and said he needed to talk to me and that it was important then i called back and he didnt answr and text and said he would just talk to me about it when i get back but i havent been back so maybe he aleady knows
 
keep trying to get a-hold of him.. he most likely knows as he knows you and your past. this is a good thing. he is probably trying to connect with you because he is concerned. i think this could be a major step in advancing for you right now as it seems like it has been on your mind over the past few days. it will feel great to stop to address these thoughts and feeling you have been holding onto. do yourself the favor and let them go, getting beyond one of those walls in the mind to go on and break through the next one! building positive momentum.

you can do it!! did you start to make a list?? this would be a great one to cross off first. the courage to create!!
 
I am feeling so fucking down right now. im still at the guys hoise that is supposed to get thd done and i am running out of money cuz i keep having to get bullshit. i feel like im gonna have a nervous breakdown. I feel very unwanted they arent saying anything but its starting to feel like im wearing out my welcome although he says it ok. all i want is to grt the methadone and hopefully stabilz on it and go back home if i even havr a home anymore. omg i feel so depressed and very uncpmfortable
 
Keep positive and begin to address the problems that are causing the anxiety.. make sure to rethink any apprehension about starting tasks that will help you get sober as apprehension is an emotion and thus controlled by the addiction. But if methadone is what you are seeking then why dont you check into a suboxone on methadone maintenance program and use this to stabilize. Once you are stabilized, as it happens pretty quick, then begin to put your life together and form a good recovery plan and set yourself up to do the detox later when you are properly prepared.
 
Man things are so fucked. i just dont have the constant cash flow for done and the one thats close to.me has a waiting list which is crazy cuz they should make some open spots for people in emergency situations. i am really feeling hopeless and stuck right now. Im so down i jjst want this nightmare to end
 
Have you placed yourself on the waiting list.. if not please do this immediately as it will broaden your options. It may be helpful for you to post everything you are able to get done tomorrow in preparation for your journey to freedom.. that way we can support you along the way and this may provide a little motivation to get as much as possible done. The best time to get something done is when you can and not leave it until you have to because then you will be behind the eightball and its really not fun to try and get things done with that sort of pressure.. the hardest part of anything is starting:)

And yeah things are fucked.. but sitting around and thinking of how fucked things are just leads to things beeing even more fucked.. Just start moving forward and you will end up where you need to be<3
 
Hey hon, just take a deep breath...

It will work out, one way or another. I don't know how strong you are feeling right now but maybe you should go back to your house, get your subs and and your hotel room and get started. If you run into your friend at the house, maybe find out what he wanted to talk about and then decide what to tell him about going away for a couple of days. Maybe you can tell him that once and for all taking care of this and that when you are done you are at least gonna need a little time to get back on your feet (if he is wanting to ask you to move out). Then go from there. Or like the others keep bringing up maybe you should check out the meetings and see what kind of resources they have available for you. I don't know how good it is for your (mental) health to keep hanging around the place where you aren't comfortable waiting on the methadone that may or may not eventually materialize.
 
were you able to get in touch with your friend your are currently living with??

here is a clinic that is centrally located at lake and ashland. they can most likely get you in pretty damn quick, with in a week or so. the intake is 150 then 40/week in which they will work with you if needed, they are good people. does't hurt to just check and see whats what with their openings, i would call today!

Caritas Central Intake Outpatient Medication Assisted Treatment
140 North Ashland Avenue
Chicago, IL 60607
(312) 850-9411

please do yourself a big favor and call dan b at c.r.a today!! man... he can/would totally listen to you and help develop a good solid plan around your current situation. he has the resources, knowledge and kindness to really aid you LOCALLY which is huge. it wont hurt to just try. here is their contact again.

chicago recovery alliance - www.anypositivechange.org phone 773.471.0999
 
I just now got on to see all this. damn i guess i wasted another day well i can get a wafer right now and supposed to get another one tommrow or i mean more should i go ahead and grab the one now? wgat ya think? I just hope it will hold me
 
No i just am in such a fucked up spot i feel stuck i just cant get out if this mode. it like its got me and just wont let go. i wanna do this so bad and just there is so many factors that i keep analyzing and trying to sneak so nobody knows and im sure they probly already do but i just cant seem to get to the next step
 
you got to kick that door down and start to walk through... maybe try and call that clinic today that is listed on the previous page.. i put their intake is 150 but i think it is actually 100.

that part of addiction is wanting you to keep analyzing coming up with any excuse possible to keep you in its grasp and sneaking about. we are all pulling for you but you got to pull for yourself too!! have you tried to form a list to help with a overall plan or are you feeling too stuck to form these thoughts? any communication yet with your friends?
 
If you want to... lets have a list of all the reasons you have to continue useing..

And if you want all the reasons you have chosen not to persue the new life that just waiting for a little effort before it presents itself..

Addiction is in your brain.. it manipulates you with emotion and can also make you think illogical thought is sound.. a good example of this addict thinking seen in many addicts.. I am so shameful of my use that I need to use..

Si if you tell us about that arguement going in your head?
 
Ok i have been taking the methadone finally for the today and yesterday and i used yesterday but im trying not to today i took 40 mg im kinda sweating and i am outta money dont know what else to do i have no more options
 
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