stuck again. time to make the executive decision

here i am. stuck again. stuck in life. time flying by and here i am just standing here in the middle of it, waiting for something to happen.

i've been in this position before and i made the tough decision to pack my things and move half way across the world. i thought it would help. i thought if i put myself in a position where i'd have no support that i would have to fend for myself, and i guess rebuild. rebuild myself into someone i was proud of. someone i was happy to be.

i was there for a year. it went okay i guess. enjoyed my work, while it lasted. but everything didn't quite progress or rebuild as much as i could have hoped. socially i was still a retard, self esteem was still in the red.

i spent 1 year there. but i don't think i made the most of it. in fact, i'm certain i didn't.

i believe in "just do it". but i don't have the courage, or the balls to actually "just do it". maybe i'm a pussy. maybe i just need to grow some balls. fuck knows.

all i know is that i'm stuck again. and i'm getting sick of feeling sorry for myself and hoping for shit to change, when the only thing stopping me is myself.

 

As a fellow social retard, I have to say that although it may sound attractive, changing locales doesn't help all that much. Problems have a nasty way of following you around.

I'm very much in a similar boat as you, and am finding it tough to break out of a very negative cycle. All that I can recommend is to try to keep busy, and maximize whatever socialization that you can. If you can keep yourself open to new people and experiences, you'll be able to broaden your horizons enough to hopefully learn how to interact better with others. Getting trapped in your head helps nothing.

Or at least that's what I keep telling myself