helpingout
Bluelighter
- Joined
- May 16, 2024
- Messages
- 424
Really wanting to get high. I want something but I know it’s not going to satisfy me. Guess I’m craving heroin again maybe. Or benzos. Or alcohol. I don’t really know. But I’m definitely worn out.
I’m gonna go over to my girlfriend’s house. We’re watching movies tonight and having steaks with Caesar salads with anchovies.
I think I really need to learn some coping skills regarding relaxation. I just can’t seem to get relaxed enough. It’s almost like I want that complete surrender that junk offers but as I am now I’m not getting it.
Working out might help. I’m gonna try that. I’m gonna make this month fitness month I think. Maybe if I’m physically exhausted relaxation might be an easier experience. I really just want to steal my girlfriend’s three hydrocodone or ask her for them. Idk. Maybe I’ll just get some CBD and fucking take a giant dose of it. Idk. I gotta figure something out. Maybe I take too many amphetamines. I just can’t seem to accept that I am as relaxed as I need to be. I’m not anxious. Why do I need a deeper feeling of relaxation ?
I’m gonna go over to my girlfriend’s house. We’re watching movies tonight and having steaks with Caesar salads with anchovies.
I think I really need to learn some coping skills regarding relaxation. I just can’t seem to get relaxed enough. It’s almost like I want that complete surrender that junk offers but as I am now I’m not getting it.
Working out might help. I’m gonna try that. I’m gonna make this month fitness month I think. Maybe if I’m physically exhausted relaxation might be an easier experience. I really just want to steal my girlfriend’s three hydrocodone or ask her for them. Idk. Maybe I’ll just get some CBD and fucking take a giant dose of it. Idk. I gotta figure something out. Maybe I take too many amphetamines. I just can’t seem to accept that I am as relaxed as I need to be. I’m not anxious. Why do I need a deeper feeling of relaxation ?