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Street Lyfe

The military is a double-edged sword, for sure. If nothing else, it is a fast way to change your situation.
 
Agreed. I personally have A LOT of friends and family in all branches of the military, and I still look at it as unbiasedly as possible. I even know some private contractors, but that's where things get sticky for sure.
 
Ooh, no kidding. Military power, but little if any accountability/oversight. Spells sketchy, IMO.

OP, how are things? Have you been able to take any steps away from your current lifestyle? Any thoughts on the thread thus far?
 
It's not that bad yet, I still keep enough steady income coming there way, that they will let it go for now. I have a buddy who has half of the fucking neighborhood looking for him and hes living on the streets/ under the bridge. I'm not there yet and I dont plan to be. I could see him winding up dead on the train tracks one day SOON, but not me. Hate to say it, but its true. And I dont let people know where I live, for these reasons.
 
Check in

Soo yeah, ive been slowly working on putting positive things into my life, I started going to NA, and its nice to get things off your chest (even though i vaguely talk about the life ive been living) but im finding it to be an ok form of support seeing as how ive lost all my real friends.

Thanks for the suggestion but i got too much pride to snitch (Even though i the thought has crossed my mind about putting people outta buisness for my own personal gain)

Moving seems like the best option, but still a criminal record follows you for life, soo im kinda worried about that.

Im very aware that Change is a good thing to practice in life, but its hard when you've been stuck in your ways for soo long and your comfortable in even the bad situations.

Its seems like i have more opportunities in the underworld then i do in the legit mans world. Or soo it seems from where im standing.

Man i used to think i was such a badass, haha listening to gangster rap, on a phone all night, always with a tight lil squeeze, all the drugs i could ingest, living in the wild wild west.

what a fool i was, because in the end i got nothing, i got out with less than what i went in with.

everyone who in this lyfe style thinks they got something to prove, and end up with nothing to show.

Atleast there's one thing i managed to keep from all this, and that was the respect ive earned from my peers.

because without that respect, id just be another target with no one backing him up.
 
deroxor said:
Moving seems like the best option, but still a criminal record follows you for life, soo im kinda worried about that.
Click to expand...
That is pretty much the only reason I suggested flipping, because depending on your level of experience and intelligence, you can use your record to your advantage, and possibly get it wiped clean.

I would certainly move before doing this though.
 
Man i've been just like you.. and I know hard it is when your caught in the loop, the streets is nothing but a trap though bro, for some its all they know and its all they got so to think of better things in the world is hard for them because they dont really know they exist.

Trust me though, the streets will get you nowhere bro its a harsh game and most that stick through it all the way do not win! Ive been in and out of prison, ive been on federal charges, ive been done cracking peoples heads and seeing people get killed and trust me there is nothing cool about it at all.

The sooner you realize where you need to be and what you really need to do with your life the sooner you'll realize what im saying, I wish you all the best though and hope to see you at the top, easy.
 
Sooo im caught up in a strange dillema within myself

Soo when i decided to go to detox and get clean, it also had a falling out with my krew/boyz

After being clean for a month i started getting affiliated with another group of boyz around my area, This caused rivalry and basically danger/resentment towards me for jumping ship (even though i knew that ship was sinking and thats why i left it)

Soo me disassociated with my old group and running around with another, i knew it was only a matter of time before my previous was put outta commission.

Soo lastnight i go out to a party, and im hanging out with a girl a introduced to my old krew and she sorta became part of the "family"

Now she was allways good to me, and even when i had beef she would warn me about whos about to come, lie to them about spotting me ect....

but lastnight we talk about how things have been, and shit just got real deep.

Basically, they want me back in the soo called family, whipe all our history clean, and start fresh. Because after all that happened, when i was part of the family, i put loyalty first, and i guess now they realize that now that im gone (or this could totaly be a set up and i could be getting my ass beat)

the thing is, since ive left, the authority have been hammering down hard on them (i guess its spring cleaning time) and now they are in jail, all the houses got raided, and apparently the cops are watching everyone (with me and this girl being an exception, Me since i left when i did)

now heres my predicament, Im supposed to ride with this girl, and go to the houses, and hit the stash spots for the money the authority diddnt confiscate (or diddnt find) About 18,000$ and we are supposed to use this money to bail them out.

this gaining my respect back, and proving my loyalty.

the thing is, after all ive been through, and after everything thats gone down, Is there really such a thing as Honor Among Thieves ???

Some part of me, wants to get that money and go away somewhere far away, and start fresh. This could be my one and only chance. But then my home, where ive lived since i was a child, would be a territory id never be able to set foot in again.

What do you think?? Honor Among Thieves or Every Man For Himself??

how should this world really work?
 
deroxor said:
Sooo im caught up in a strange dillema within myself

Soo when i decided to go to detox and get clean, it also had a falling out with my krew/boyz

After being clean for a month i started getting affiliated with another group of boyz around my area, This caused rivalry and basically danger/resentment towards me for jumping ship (even though i knew that ship was sinking and thats why i left it)

Soo me disassociated with my old group and running around with another, i knew it was only a matter of time before my previous was put outta commission.

Soo lastnight i go out to a party, and im hanging out with a girl a introduced to my old krew and she sorta became part of the "family"

Now she was allways good to me, and even when i had beef she would warn me about whos about to come, lie to them about spotting me ect....

but lastnight we talk about how things have been, and shit just got real deep.

Basically, they want me back in the soo called family, whipe all our history clean, and start fresh. Because after all that happened, when i was part of the family, i put loyalty first, and i guess now they realize that now that im gone (or this could totaly be a set up and i could be getting my ass beat)

the thing is, since ive left, the authority have been hammering down hard on them (i guess its spring cleaning time) and now they are in jail, all the houses got raided, and apparently the cops are watching everyone (with me and this girl being an exception, Me since i left when i did)

now heres my predicament, Im supposed to ride with this girl, and go to the houses, and hit the stash spots for the money the authority diddnt confiscate (or diddnt find) About 18,000$ and we are supposed to use this money to bail them out.

this gaining my respect back, and proving my loyalty.

the thing is, after all ive been through, and after everything thats gone down, Is there really such a thing as Honor Among Thieves ???

Some part of me, wants to get that money and go away somewhere far away, and start fresh. This could be my one and only chance. But then my home, where ive lived since i was a child, would be a territory id never be able to set foot in again.

What do you think?? Honor Among Thieves or Every Man For Himself??

how should this world really work?
Click to expand...

Here is a thread from Europe about living on the streets i started it i'm 35 btw

http://www.bluelight.ru/vb/threads/606196-Street-Junkies-Drinkers-tell-yeer-story

It might not be the same as where you are but it is all real and i have lived it.

Personally i think you should just get the fuk out of where ever you live n have connections it's o0nly gonna get worse .

If you can get a couple hundred bucks just get pon afukin train n leave this shit behind go to the other side of the country (Canada Yeah ? )
No theirs is not honour amongst theives btw thats bullshit just gtfo man n start a fresh n use the lessons you have learnt from this big fuk up .
PM me if you want .
I have been through similar stuff n lived to tell the tale .............
 
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deroxor said:
I dunno if this is the right place for this, But i cant really talk to my family or friends about what I do. Im not going to bring up much in this thread about what i do neither.

But at a young age, i thought it was Cool to be "Gangster" or a "Thug" badass. But now, while ive actually lived part of the life, its not all its cracked up to be.

Being addicted to Heroin increased these Acts of "Survival" on my part, and im not ashamed to say ive done some bad things. What I am ashamed of, is putting myself there.

Having a 150$ a day habbit was no joke, and neither was all the negative karma ive most likely gained from being addicted.

Im glad to say im clean now, going on 2 months almost, But my involvement in the streets is still viable to my daily living.

Ive fucked over every legit job ive had, Labeled a thief soo finding real work in my area is kinda hard. All my close friends since childhood have abandoned me, due to my venturing downward spiral.

and even though i took chose the road of recovery, my life is still full of remnants of my former street involvement. the only friends i got now, consist of dope dealers, and shot callers.

Just the other day i watched one of my friends get beat to a bloody pulp, because he fucked up and smoked the dope, he wasn't supposed to be smoking.

It wasnt non of my business to get involve, but still it isnt nice to watch one of your buddies get smashed out and nothing can be done about it.

Fuckin tired of this shit, but i have little ways out. Even myself is a target to some Rival individuals, soo i could have people running up in our joint at any minute ready to bust my head wide open.

Its a harsh reality, but then again this is a harsh world. Sometimes i think suicide is my only way out, But then I often think death should only be glorified through battle.

all i can do is try n keep my nose/veins clean, and stay loyal to my boys. Its funny how ive reduced my life to this almost primitive living situation haha. But a niggas gotta do what a niggas gotta do

Anybody else out ther feel me??? and wish for a better way to live than in this bullshit??
Click to expand...

Pack up whatever you can carry with you and get the fuck out of where ever you are!!!! Millions if not billions of people have immigrated to different countries for different reasons over the years, and most of them did so with nothing but the clothes on their backs and a few suitcases.

If I was you I would hustle up 5 grand and hit the road(of course you would have to get a job, but this should be easier when no one knows who you are). It may seem impossible to save that much money, but if you want it bad enough you will do it. Stay low key while you are doing this. Don't do anything out of the ordinary that may get you busted (you can't go anywhere if you are sitting in jail).

This really is a great country to do this in, and the only way you would be found is if you fucked over some seriously connected crime syndicate type individuals with eyes and ears everywhere or are just so pissed that they will track you down themselves regardless of expense.

I don't even have these kind of problems you talk about and a part of me has always wanted to just up and leave everything to go on the adventure of a lifetime. No preparations/plans whatsoever (other than to end up in a state where medical marijuana is legal and I could become a caregiver), just some travel/seed money to get me situated wherever I end up and the mindset that I will survive no matter what.

Also, about your boys, forget about all that loyalty shit because there is no honor among thieves (you can substitute criminal, drug dealer, drug user etc.). Trust me, I have seen "loyalty" before and oftentimes "loyalty" goes out the window when shit hits the fan...

for example:

Guy has a group of associates. They move together, kick it together, and the love is there. One guy catches a case. He does the thing a stand up guy would do takes it to the chin and goes to the joint (more likely that they snitch out whoever they can including said associates so they can continue their lifestyle). All his loyal friends/ people he hooked up/ even family members he looked out for completely forget that he even existed. No mail, no money on the books, no accepting phone calls, no food boxes, no nothing except for three hots and a cot courtesy of the state. If it wouldn't have been for some girls that were into him when he was on the streets he wouldn't have had anything (they were the only ones that ever did anything for him). He did his whole bit (5 years) without hearing from any of the people he expected to be there for him.

Moral of the story: don't expect anybody to do anything for you even if you have done the same thing you are asking them to do for you for them in the past (I hope that sentence made sense).
 
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The military is a good way to get away from everything that is currently ruining your life. The biggest advantage is getting away from the environment and people who are bringing you down, enabling you or just giving you reasons to consider jumping back into that hell of a lifestyle. I do have to say just taking one step at a time is the way to go. In regards to the debt you owe: first, quit; otherwise, you'll never get out of debt. If this isn't a possibility, go to a rehab or seek help from trusting / caring family and friends. You'd be surprised who'd be willing to help you out knowing that you're working to get clean. The goal is to get clean, then everything seems to unfold to your advantage. In regards to your debt, whoever you owe, I'm sure there is a way to make some sort of payments to show good faith. It all depends on how much you owe, who you owe and how long it's been. If you're looking to get clean, you SHOULD be fine. The bottom line is that these guys just want there money. If you're still doing drugs to the point where you have no money and your life is hanging by a thread, you're not doing good for anyone, especially yourself; and in fact, may be digging yourself a bigger hole.

Back to what I was saying, joining the military IS an option; however, there are better ways to get your life back on track, stay away from drugs and live a productive life. I'm sure you've heard all this before. Enrolling into school or some trade program, getting into a few help group, or anything that can not only etertain you and but keep your mind off the disgusting lifestyle of drug use.

Personally I think joining the military is an easy way out. There are better ways to change your life without such a serious commitment. Let me know what you think and please keep us up to date in regards to your decision and progress. Good luck and stay strong!


If you need someone to talk to about this, please feel free to message me as I have an abundance of advice to offer to help you get on the straight and narrow. Good luck you.
 
Wow, it is crazy the direction this thread went... I had only read the first post when I hit post reply. Funny that the whole loyalty subject was brought up.
 
I know what you mean, when most of your friends are less than upstanding citizens it can be extremely hard to make any life changes. This is why most people keep smoking- because everyone they know smokes and no one wants to be that dick who doesn't.

A good piece of advice I got was 'You'll have many accomplices, but few friends in your life'. You yourself have admited that all your real friends are long gone- they bailed on you when you were going down (some friends- though i don't know the context). These dudes you're 'with', they ain't your friends. They're you're associates. Criminal associates at that.

Don't pay bond. Fucks sake- do you actually think LE are idiots? If you have a record, are known to the police as associated with X, Y & Z you don't think that they're gonna take fucking note when you rock up with 18 large of what I assume is gonna be filthy street money, mainly in 20s and 50s. Bro- you need to get OUT of this shit, don't take side with the motherfuckers who already been arrested!

Take the money- if it's as bad as you say, they going to fucking jail. Skip town. Don't look back. Don't sound like there's gonna be anyone to 'hunt you down' or anything. If you have the rep, maybe try to cozy up (give them info on what went down, police tactics etc) to the people who are running the streets now- police can do as many sweeps as they want, someone gonna own those streets before skipping town (show that you aren't a snitch, but you ain't nobodies bitch). If you have 18 large, the american dollar ain't worth shit- go over to the states and start a new life.

Also- don't snitch. Fucking, no police department is properly run let alone funded. You aren't going to be 'supported' as a snitch unless you're say, a full-patch hells angels ready to flip and as for witness protection...when the fuck did new identities work? You are who you are, someone wants to kill you bad enough they'll do it.

Oh, and you mentioned a girl being in amongst all this bullshit- my advice would be to do this on your own.
 
I'd say it depends on your relationship with the people. These are some rhetorical questions I am suggesting you ask yourself.

Were you family because of the drugs and would still be family if there were no drugs? That's you. What about the people you're bailing out?

You seem to trust the girl. Is that mutual?

I'd ask questions like these. Human relationships are complex.

Yes, you might be walking into a trap. Maybe the girl has flipped and you're being set up---how come she has not been hit hard? There are a lot of things that could go wrong here and you're a street smart enough guy to figure this out. Ask yourself a LOT of questions and be honest with yourself.

But it's not just that. It's not even that you're going back or not. I personally would not get sucked back in. But if I knew the risk was low to me (there's no point in you ending up in jail as well) and I felt those people did deserve to be bailed out, I'd bail them out and walk away (plus it'd have the added benefit of wiping the slate clean). Or at least keep them at arm's length. A LONG arm.

If you feel those people were using you before, then think, have things changed?

I think you've gotten the range of comments you'll get. Most say you should look out for #1. That should ALWAYS be the case. You need take care of yourself first before you can take care of others. I've been a bit more ambivalent about helping your former crew mainly because I also am a fiercely loyal person and for me I need to be true to myself. I however cut people who use other people out of my life (if they somehow snuck in) as soon as I see that trait. Why are you conflicted? Is it the girl who was nice to me? Is it someone in jail who was nice to me?

Keep us posted.

As an aside, did you go to treatment also and have you been clean since? I ask because if you're going to be doing any of this, the last thing you need is to do it under the influence. This will not only cloud your judgement as you know but you should assume you will get drug tested at any point. No matter what you do, keep your wits. For example, I assume you're street smart enough to not post bail with street money before moving it around (launder) at least once. That if the girl could post bail, you'd let her do it instead of getting involved. And so on. Don't take any risks that are unnecessary (that applies with LE and with your old crew and anyone).

deroxor said:
Sooo im caught up in a strange dillema within myself

Soo when i decided to go to detox and get clean, it also had a falling out with my krew/boyz

After being clean for a month i started getting affiliated with another group of boyz around my area, This caused rivalry and basically danger/resentment towards me for jumping ship (even though i knew that ship was sinking and thats why i left it)

Soo me disassociated with my old group and running around with another, i knew it was only a matter of time before my previous was put outta commission.

Soo lastnight i go out to a party, and im hanging out with a girl a introduced to my old krew and she sorta became part of the "family"

Now she was allways good to me, and even when i had beef she would warn me about whos about to come, lie to them about spotting me ect....

but lastnight we talk about how things have been, and shit just got real deep.

Basically, they want me back in the soo called family, whipe all our history clean, and start fresh. Because after all that happened, when i was part of the family, i put loyalty first, and i guess now they realize that now that im gone (or this could totaly be a set up and i could be getting my ass beat)

the thing is, since ive left, the authority have been hammering down hard on them (i guess its spring cleaning time) and now they are in jail, all the houses got raided, and apparently the cops are watching everyone (with me and this girl being an exception, Me since i left when i did)

now heres my predicament, Im supposed to ride with this girl, and go to the houses, and hit the stash spots for the money the authority diddnt confiscate (or diddnt find) About 18,000$ and we are supposed to use this money to bail them out.

this gaining my respect back, and proving my loyalty.

the thing is, after all ive been through, and after everything thats gone down, Is there really such a thing as Honor Among Thieves ???

Some part of me, wants to get that money and go away somewhere far away, and start fresh. This could be my one and only chance. But then my home, where ive lived since i was a child, would be a territory id never be able to set foot in again.

What do you think?? Honor Among Thieves or Every Man For Himself??

how should this world really work?
Click to expand...
 
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I feel ya fam, its interesting to see the perspective of another hood nigga who isn't shielded in the typical tough guy shit...

Being real to yourself is the first step- you're past the most tricky part.

Jo I lived in Chicago all my life, ain't left the hood on a real trip till 2 years ago. Seeing an alternate way of life was crazy. The biggest thing was stepping out from a place where I had to be what I thought I was. ...if that makes sense.

Knowing I actually had a choice, and didn't have to worry about getting shot or stabbed or any of that shit eased my mind to a point where I wasn't in dire need of self-medication.

Ironically that place was LA, which goes back to who you surround yourself with.

You gotta do what you gotta do, but don't do things you ain't gotta. Homie said "than you should be able to save $150 a day being clean", I would only imagine that loot wasn't always acquired by the most legal means.

What I'm getting at is, I would be at the end of my rope. Broke, sober and depressed. Letting myself get like that meant I was getting myself ready to start convincing myself that I was that no-good banger-spic, which then allowed me to say fukk it and run up in somebody's pockets or steal some shit or whatever.

Don't let the habit or your past bring you back to that "fuck it" state.

You're bigger than all the outside influences and stronger than those inside influences.

Stay strong, be safe.

Peace and love.
 
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