Story Time With D's...Gather 'round children!

D's said:
lol xD, yeah cheese pups are those dog treats that look EXSACTLY like fucking cheesetos sept they are shaped like a bone, i thought it was a chedder chesee log or something new.

you want to hear a story?

when i was a kid.. and i just began to learn what "fapping" was., i couldn't help myself but fap atleast 3+ times a day, sometimes more. i'd fap on the bed fap on the floor fapped so long i grew a fappin' afro then i fapped to the left fapped to the right fapped to the sound of momma cookin rice.
anyways, i couldn't help but fap almost 24/7, i still took time out of the day to eat my captin crunch baries and work on my cursive homework assignments.
well oneday in shop i was like, i'm fuckin tired of fapping, so i desided to make a feefee, everyone else in class was making like fuckin bookshelves, and birdhouses. fuckthat shit i want to fap, the birdhouse gave me the idea because of the hole, and the bookshelf reminded me of my dads porn that i will get into later in the night. well everyone is working on their projects and i'm hammering,sawing,stapleing,glueing,fapping,sandwich, etc.
here is a microsoft paint drawing of my fapper:
drewsfapper.jpg

wish i still had the real thing, my mom threw it away after she saw my exexex gf's panties stuffed in the "birdhouse", she got courious about why there were women panties stuffd in a birdhouse, so she investageted like a snoob,.
oneday afterschool i was bust fappin in my ''birdhouse'' and i didn't kno that my mom setted me up, she put glue in my ''lube'' bubbles, and she fucking made me glue myself to the ''birdhouse'', whats fucked up is i had to go confront her and my dad, and sisters and fucking brother.
they laughed at me, hard, like they were crying, i felt so emberased. so went to the hospital with this still on my penis, well my best friends mom is a nurse in the ER and well since she saw what i did, she stopped letting her son hang out with me :/.
the doctor wasn't laughing, he told me that i have serous issues, and sent me to a therapist.
and well ive been fuckd in the head since.
the end!
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bahahahhahaha this is as far as i got (1st pg lol) and its gotta be the funniest one cuz idk how anything in this thread can top this post. I laughed till i had tears in my eyes
 
oh man, did i mention the first time i lost my virginity i hd 2 tell lounge,i didn't wer a condom on that one either, more then once if u belive u cant get a girl prego in the shower? and well, nothing became of her, she didn't hve a baby and wsnt on the pill.
oh so what hd happend i was like gloeeeekkk wtf do i do? this time the sharpie busted inside and it was up there close enough to take down the hymn. maybe she was still a virgin? bcus there wuz like virgin blood?(somehow i know these things) in a little circle in my sheets. should hang outside door like they did back n the day.
this new bitch, my boss's niece,my baby momma

/
i see a film being made.
 
dude you should be asking for a raise at work

and a managerial position

and an office

with a desk
 
D's said:
oh man, did i mention the first time i lost my virginity i hd 2 tell lounge,i didn't wer a condom on that one either, more then once if u belive u cant get a girl prego in the shower? and well, nothing became of her, she didn't hve a baby and wsnt on the pill.
oh so what hd happend i was like gloeeeekkk wtf do i do? this time the sharpie busted inside and it was up there close enough to take down the hymn. maybe she was still a virgin? bcus there wuz like virgin blood?(somehow i know these things) in a little circle in my sheets. should hang outside door like they did back n the day.
this new bitch, my boss's niece,my baby momma

/
i see a film being made.
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:D

Thank you Papa for bumping this.
 
Lonewolf never got to read the D's autobiography :[
 
Bomboclat said:
D's always has lovely, heart-warming, stories to tell. So now its time for our special happy fun story time, with D's.

D's, take it away!
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D's, tell us about the time you stabbed your step-dad on ambien.

Very entertaining ime
 
I'm sure my friend lonewolf wuld be proud at where i'm at today in my life. I miss him and dex,they both wrote me while I was in christian rehab,and lonewolf would mail me sex stories,and god damn were they great lmao,reading some shit about this fat ugly bitch roofied a prepy hot chick in here dorm and raped the bitch !lol my dick got so hard in the cafeteria there that day .lmao

My stepdad and I talk now more then we did lol, he did that 'tough love'shit that got me out of my home town ,to start a job across country. We havnt seen each other since i flippd out on xanax,ambien,liquor, and pretty sure i rubd some testro gel on my chest.lol
Hell, he do cell tower work,and i do aerial linework,they are both related some kind another,and since ive kept a steady job (well minus that stint i did in AL for a month and a few weeks).

I've made a name for myself , people know me by Cheese, and at work I have the personality to bring peace among other workers. That show 'Deadliest Catch' aint got shit on the work I live for every fucking day.

I am finally at that point in my life now where i'll be a fucking Lineman until the day i die,someday I will be something that I never imagined.

Now,saying that. I still fuck up on a daily basis, I make mistakes and man the fuck up where I did wrong. Life to me, right now is about work. Not here to make friends, or get married. I tell myself every fucking day that 'I got this shit' 'Cheese got this fucking shit', been doing this long enough to know what to do.

It's very reassuring to know that every time I get up and go into work, that I will make $1,700 - $3,200, for this week. 5x 8hr-16hrs a day.

The only story I got since being out here is seeing the dangers of meth when the other person is going through a psychosis, i dont want that shit.

I smoke weed, good kinds,everyday.
 
lw13 still bringing the lols

settle down cheese, deadliest catch is a good show iirc.

bless
 
D's said:
I'm sure my friend lonewolf wuld be proud at where i'm at today in my life. I miss him and dex,they both wrote me while I was in christian rehab,and lonewolf would mail me sex stories,and god damn were they great lmao,reading some shit about this fat ugly bitch roofied a prepy hot chick in here dorm and raped the bitch !lol my dick got so hard in the cafeteria there that day .lmao

My stepdad and I talk now more then we did lol, he did that 'tough love'shit that got me out of my home town ,to start a job across country. We havnt seen each other since i flippd out on xanax,ambien,liquor, and pretty sure i rubd some testro gel on my chest.lol
Hell, he do cell tower work,and i do aerial linework,they are both related some kind another,and since ive kept a steady job (well minus that stint i did in AL for a month and a few weeks).

I've made a name for myself , people know me by Cheese, and at work I have the personality to bring peace among other workers. That show 'Deadliest Catch' aint got shit on the work I live for every fucking day.

I am finally at that point in my life now where i'll be a fucking Lineman until the day i die,someday I will be something that I never imagined.

Now,saying that. I still fuck up on a daily basis, I make mistakes and man the fuck up where I did wrong. Life to me, right now is about work. Not here to make friends, or get married. I tell myself every fucking day that 'I got this shit' 'Cheese got this fucking shit', been doing this long enough to know what to do.

It's very reassuring to know that every time I get up and go into work, that I will make $1,700 - $3,200, for this week. 5x 8hr-16hrs a day.

The only story I got since being out here is seeing the dangers of meth when the other person is going through a psychosis, i dont want that shit.

I smoke weed, good kinds,everyday.
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D's, could you share lw13's rape stories? Pls <3
 
I never thought to send you reading material when u were in rehab.
I like how you are engrossed in your trade. I might ask you about it.
Im getting my dot physical/medical card and my class a drivers license back this month.
Ive recently found mad confidence through making mechanical eepairs to a 50cc scooter.
Im doing "customer service" type stuff with other kids at a fancy beach resort. Its not all inclusive so i have to have my thumb on the pulse of the beach.
So D's, what is the long term outlook for you and the particular skillset you have?

1700 clams! 3200 bones? Not having any kids? Die yuppy scum!!!!!!!!! Haha, jk. Let me personally tell you then: you'ee a succuss by any standards.
 
Just say dude and man and sick and hell a lot beagle and you will be proper surfer
 
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