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Storm

Dastrix Slogan

Bluelighter
Joined
Oct 2, 2002
Messages
1,701
Location
South Africa
you come with the storm
the hot sticky day has been building
heat and pressure
must be released
storm clouds
stretch their dark chubby digits
creeping along the sky towards me

animals would take flight
but you and i
are not that type of animal

you fall into me
i hold you up
i push back
its lips and tongues
groping and moaning and biting and touching
and nipples and shirts and
i
just cant
get
these
fucking
clothes
off
fast enough

thunder canons through the room
the glass rattles through the widows, chasing after it

I push you down
and climb on top
and its just one of those days
where our legs move like machinery
over under out of the way around and down
a lovers robotic dance
I find you
with no hands
I breath through my teeth
as I feel you warm and rough and smooth
surrounding me

lightning strobes the room through the large, low window
bitter white on your cheek casts shadows across your face
half divine, half damned

I grab your wrists
hard
push them above your head
watch your naked body stretch
you bite you lip
I run my hand under your head
clasp your hair in my hands
and pull
for no other reason
than how you look at me, to show me,
how you fucking get off on it
and all of a sudden
its beyond control
just brutal wanting
you push up against me
nails dig into my back
and as your gasping turns into moans
I sink my teeth into your neck
and listen to you scream
a long, guttural, animal scream
I taste your sweat
I can no longer remember what I wanted to do next
and no longer care
my eyes blur
muscles tense
moving and shivering and trying to push myself up
trying to get deeper and deeper
and just when I cannot go any higher
you gently touch my head
and whisper in my ear
"oh, baby"
I throw my head back

and I want the world to feel my wake
I want them to run in terror from the animal they think breathes it's first breath of air
I want waves of hot energy to level the trees and buildings that surround us
pound the ground with power
circle of devastation to mark our passion

the smell of sex
we lie breathless
I cannot think of anything to say
my mind is numbed, like my ears that can barely hear
over the deafening sound of the rain pelting down
on the carports outside

i can just hear the storm, rumbling it's way across the sky
 
Last edited:
WOW!

What can I say to this poem? It leaves me breathless!

What great imagery and metaphor you cook up for this piece...I love the references to the 'animal'. I also enjoy the way the sky reflects the lovers' feelings, that is a really nice touch.

The beginning of this poem is my favorite part. It sets the scene so nicely.

you come with the storm
the hot sticky day has been building
heat and pressure
must be released
storm clouds
stretch their dark chubby digits
acreeping long the sky towards me

animals would take flight
but you and i
are not that type of animal
also i do not know if it was intentional or not, but not using capital letters or conventional punctuation really added to this poem for me.

You really captured the feeling and essence of the ecstasy of making love...good job!!!
 
Having read some of your epic pieces yakksoho, this is an incredible compliment. Thank You.

lowercase was intentional, but the typo wasn't ;)

"creeping along the sky towards me" Fixed!
 
dastrix man...this is fucking cool, I just love your descriptions....
I always have the mental imagery in my head when writing , but I can never seem to find the right words to go with it!! It's so frustrating!
I mean, i get the occasional metaphor that I really like at the oddest times, but by the time I get to a pen and paper I just forget it!!! lol

But I love your descriptions......
lol..how do you do it man???
 
Dastrix Slogan said:

i grab your wrists
hard
push them above your head
watch your naked body stretch
you bite you lip
I run my hand under your head
clasp your hair in my hands
and pull
for no other reason
than how you look at me, to show me,
how you fucking get off on it
and all of a sudden
its beyond control
just brutal wanting
you push up against me
nails dig into my back
and as your gasping turns into moans
I sink my teeth into your neck
and listen to you scream
a long, guttural, animal scream
I taste your sweat
I can no longer remember what I wanted to do next
and no longer care
my eyes blur
muscles tense
moving and shivering and trying to push myself up
trying to get deeper and deeper
and just when I cannot go any higher
you gently touch my head
and whisper in my ear
"oh, baby"
I throw my head back


*melts* OMG that was INCREDIBLE! you seemd to take the way i like sex and putit into words and do such justice to it that it made me tingle ;)

i really REALLY enojyed this peice. its structure was well and it presented itself neatly and flowed great.

well done =D

ps: can i marry you? ;)
 
Dastrix, I think I better line up. Not everyone can write poetry, and pritty much no-one can write about sex.
Fine work as per.
 
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