• 💊 OTHER DRUGS 💊 Welcome Guest
    Posting Rules Bluelight Rules
    Notable Threads 1 Notable Threads 2
    Dangerous Combos Addiction Support
    Emergency Services Benzo Guide v.1
    Addiction Stories Scary Case Studies
    Biology, Pharmacology & Drugs 101
  • Select Your Topic Then Scroll Down
    Alcohol Bupe Benzos
    Cocaine Heroin Opioids
    RCs Stimulants Misc
    Harm Reduction All Topics Gabapentinoids
    Tired of your habit? Struggling to cope?
    Want to regain control or get sober?
    Visit our Recovery Support Forums

Opioids Still waiting for PAWS

M

mr. mudd

Bluelighter
Joined
Mar 4, 2011
Messages
135
I did a quick stepdown after 9 years of steady, high-tolerance opiate abuse (morphine then methadone and oxy). I switched to sub for three weeks and hit zero (which is where I've been for two weeks now).

My body seems to react poorly to any sedative even now. I can catch some sleep with temazepam now that the w/d is subsiding but it makes me twitch even 5-10 seconds according to my girlfriend. I've been walking at least two hours a day to exhaust my body but even with that I only get about 1.5 hours of sleep.

I'm not interested in using any drug to ease the transition at this time, but it's odd that my brain is still racing every night. I understand that my body was creating massive amounts of up to counteract the down, but damn: I would have thought that around this time I'd be concluding that life was a bag of crap and that nothing was worth doing, etc. I still haven't hit that. Has anyone who's been through a steep, manic detox offer any insight? I know everyone is different--I'm just curious if others have gone from sick to manic to normal (over months of w/d) instead of dead sick to depressed to normal.
 
Insomnia, racing thoughts, mania/depression, etc. can all be symptoms of PAWS, sounds to me like it already set it. Could last months to years, no way to know. But healthy diet and exercise will improve how you feel tremendously. I also have insomnia related to PAWS right now and I use pot to sleep. Might not work *quite* as well as a benzo, but it comes closer than any other prescription drug I've tried for sleep in the past, and you won't be getting addicted to something with terrible withdrawal again like you would with benzos.
 
You know yourself better than anyone else and your plan is best if you can make it. However, if the lack of sleep becomes unbearable, I don't see anything wrong with you asking for a sleep aid from your dr. The last time I was in a similar position, I asked mine for 10 pills a month so I would only use them 2-3 times a week. He gave me 10mg valiums to use as needed. And would only refill if I agreed that his nurse could call me in for a random count at their descretion. They only checked me out 2-3 times the 1st year and that was it. This worked well for several yrs. Then I got hit with a kidney stone and the urologist hospitalzed me and gave me a hand controlled morphine drip.... That [and a couple of other things] were all I needed to go back to opiates.

Insomnia is the worst part of WD's for me. [RLS is close]
 
^ Yeah I might have to bite the benzo bullet at some point--I'm starting to look like a raccoon on speed. Maybe when I'm in less withdrawal they won't make me so twitchy. At the moment, everything (temazepan, clonidine, flexoril, benadryl, seroquil, etc.) makes me RLS worse. My body seems to be fighting the Grand Opiate Fight, telling me that if I so much as dare to ingest other drugs it'll punish me.

@caseface: I smoked pot for the first time in years on Friday for a David Lindley gig. It did ease the RLS for a few hours, but back it came (and in the meantime the brain was racing).

some have total abstinence thrust upon them by their fucked bodies.
 
Been in situations similar to yours quite a few times, minus the extended time period of sobriety, I've found that smoking a tad bit of herb will really help you, as well as excersizing and good diet. If its available to you, I would check into some type of herbal supplement from your local herb or vitamin shop if you find that you simply cannot sleep. I've tried many different home remedies, from eating half a box of immodium or eating benadryl, the only thing that really works is benzos, pot or opiates. I know, not the advice you're trying to hear, but it works. Don't really know what else to tell you friend.
 
no, if you do it right, w/d don't have to be horrible

one day your body will slow down...maybe in a few weeks, few months...I'd say give it another few weeks.

Doesn't everything seem brighter? You start noticing things like someone took a head scarf off your head? It's amazing how opiates really slow things down for us and you can't live life fully IMO until you are completely off...methadone/suboxone is not the same, at all.

Wow...I am so happy for you and jealous. I'll be taking the same road soon. I'm on methadone going in the same direction you are.

Are you seeing a psychologist? Gotta think of everything at this point that can help you not to relapse. Not saying you will, but you know what I mean. Maximize your chances. You already exercise. Diet, therapy, hobbies, dunno what else.

Congrats! Makes me feel happy to know someone can do it.
 
^ everything is definitely WAY brighter, literally. my pupils were so used to being constricted that I probably look like an acidhead. sunglasses for me.

I have to say it is a bit of fun to be manic. in the past I've written books and put out a cd on an indie label but taking a goddamn gram of oxy a day made me sit, watch tv and eat sugar all the time. nice to see that sugar fat gone, and even nicer to feel social and creative. I'm downright chatty.

no psychologist, but I could see my old psychiatrist if I really needed. my ex-wife did cold turkey off 30mg of methadone a day and she's been clean five years. easier without me and my steady arm and connections, though. anyway, she said I should be back to normal in six months. in the meantime I guess it'll slowly improve. maybe I'll get 2.5 hours of sleep tonight!

I wouldn't recommend my road to anyone--when I went on sub I was at about 140 mg of methadone but the clinic didn't know that. I couldn't be straight with them because they reported to my employer. punish the honest, that's their motto.

on the other hand, if doing a shot of oxy meant that I had to receive a stab wound in the lung I wouldn't be tempted to shoot oxy. going through this last six weeks of purgatory definitely firmed my resolve.

if you go onto sub and they start you too low don't feel bad about safe supplementing. I couldn't have made the first day at 4mg without some help. the sub didn't fill all the receptors at such a low dose, and I knew that soon it would kick out the oxy so no harm done I think. that's my rationalization, anyway, and I haven't looked back. just don't OD, obviously.
 
mr. mudd said:
@caseface: I smoked pot for the first time in years on Friday for a David Lindley gig. It did ease the RLS for a few hours, but back it came (and in the meantime the brain was racing).

some have total abstinence thrust upon them by their fucked bodies.
Click to expand...

Smoke less pot then. When one has no tolerance, smoking a bowl of dank is too intense in my opinion. 4 months before i got off bupe i went to rehab and stayed sober, and was sober another month after jumping off bupe. When I started smoking weed again i had to take it slow because i would get too high. If you have good weed all it takes is a couple hits off a pipe to get medicinal effects.

Of course it's totally possible that it still won't work well for you, I have been through phases myself where i had to stop smoking pot because of negative psychological side effects. So this is just a suggestion, don't think im trying to say this will definitely work. Good luck though bro, you're definitely getting yourself on the right path.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top