• S E X
    L O V E +
    R E L A T I O N S H I P S


    ❤️ Welcome Guest! ❤️


    Posting Guidelines Bluelight Rules
  • SLR Moderators: Senior Staff

Starting a relationship advice?

Z

ZeroBlood

Greenlighter
Joined
Jan 11, 2013
Messages
29
So I'm 17 and have never had a girlfriend. It's not that I'm ugly or weird at all, I use to be really shy with girls until about a year ago and never really cared to be in a relationship or to have sex with a girl because I'm too afraid of being rejected or ruining a friendship. I get along well with a lot of girls, and I have gotten to a point where I want to try to take a friendship further with a girls many times, but I just don't know what it is I'm supposed to do to move from friends to more than friends. I have been waiting for a girl to make the first big move because I don't know what to do, and that usually doesn't happen.

Right now I'm really close friends with a girl who I like. I wouldn't quite say that she has friend zoned me, its more as though I have friend zoned myself because I'm too afraid to tell/show her I like her. We hangout and flirt a lot, and she hasn't ever done anything to show me shes not interested, but I'm pretty sure she thinks I'm not interested because I've been close friends with her for 3 months and haven't done anything to show her I may be interested in sex or a relationship. When we first met she was really flirty and a bit suggestive, but I didn't know how to respond and I think I made her think I want to be just friends.

Aside from the fact that the two of us are close friends, I'm also pretty good friends with all her best friends and shes friends with a lot of my other close friends too. What should I do to try and see if she's interested in being more than friends? I really like her as both a friend and a potential girlfriend and I'm okay staying friends if she's not interested in me because she's still pretty cool, I just don't know what it is that guys are supposed to do at this point to try and move the relationship to the next level without being weird or creepy about it, because like I said, I've never done it before. Any advice is appreciated, thanks.
 
First - don't worry about only being 17 and never having a girlfriend before. I was 17 when I started dating my first boyfriend. I think he was 18 at the time. I know a lot of people who didn't date until college. It isn't uncommon :)

As for showing her that you're interested in being more than friends, invite her on a date, just the two of you. And make sure that she knows it is just the two of you :)
 
Yeah dude, put yourself out there and ask her out. You don't have to show all your cards at one time. Take it slow (not too slow) and treat her good. You seem like your a sensitive person so be easy trying for the sex too soon. Sex is great but it can mess with your mind if a relationship goes south. I was just like you at that age and I'm almost 49 y/o now and have had mostly healthy relationships in my life. Good luck.
 
17 and not having had a girlfriend is not unusual at all. I'm 27 now and hadn't had a girlfriend at 17. I had slept with one girl. It took me until I was 19 until I got my first proper girlfriend. Like you, I wasn't weird or ugly (quite the opposite). Like you it was more to do with not knowing how to ask girls out that I liked and not taking advantage of opportunities where girls liked me. Once you get older you become way better at flirting, picking up on the signals girls give out and with talking and being around women in general.

My advice, just ask her out. Ask her to go out to a movie, coffee, fast food resturaunt, party whatever. It doesn't really matter, just let her know it is the two of you. From there flirt with her and see how she responds. If she seems to be enjoying herself just tell her you like her. even if your not sure, it might be worth telling her how you feel - at least then you will know how she feels about you.

if it doesn't go well, don't worry about it. Girls come and go, and you will have alot of opportunities to meet more. I know when I was young I used to take rejection quite personally (still do now sometimes) - but really it doesn't matter. You move on. At 27 I have had plenty of successful relationships, plenty of rejections, lots of good dates and lots of bad dates. It is all part of life, enjoy the ride dude.
 
ZeroBlood said:
I have been waiting for a girl to make the first big move because I don't know what to do, and that usually doesn't happen.
Click to expand...
Yeah, don't be waiting around for something you know isn't going to happen. MEN ARE SUPPOSE TO BE MAKING THE MOVES.

ZeroBlood said:
Right now I'm really close friends with a girl who I like. I wouldn't quite say that she has friend zoned me, its more as though I have friend zoned myself because I'm too afraid to tell/show her I like her. We hangout and flirt a lot, and she hasn't ever done anything to show me shes not interested, but I'm pretty sure she thinks I'm not interested because I've been close friends with her for 3 months and haven't done anything to show her I may be interested in sex or a relationship. When we first met she was really flirty and a bit suggestive, but I didn't know how to respond and I think I made her think I want to be just friends.
Click to expand...
If you're friends with a girl, you're in the "friend zone". Sorry bud, but since it's only been 3 months--you might be able to get out of it. You just got to make a move! Have you hung out with her just one on one? Maybe go get something to eat, go to the mall, etc. Ask her to do something with just you. You know, like a date. :) But don't be all weird and ask her if she wants to go on a date. Make it really casual so if she's not interested, it wouldn't be weird. Once you get one on one time, compliment her. Tell her you think she's pretty, super cool, blah blah blah. And see what she says. You can wait until you hang out with her a few times if you're not too confident or comfortable. But you would want to do it on the 3rd "date" at least if you're getting good vibes. If she wants to bring her friends the 1st time--OK, second or third time--she might not be interested in you like that.
 
many women expect you to make the move.

why fear failure. its not the end of the world.

what is bad is regretting never taking charge and getting what you want. i've done that a few times and looking back its quite annoying.

tell her she's pretty and show her a few compliments then play it by ear. if she starts touching you messing about reciprocate. what more can i say...
 
Ask her to lunch. It's not as formal as dinner, and you're free to go your separate ways if things don't work out, or go hang out somewhere else afterwards.
 
ZeroBlood said:
So I'm 17 and have never had a girlfriend. It's not that I'm ugly or weird at all, I use to be really shy with girls until about a year ago and never really cared to be in a relationship or to have sex with a girl because I'm too afraid of being rejected or ruining a friendship. I get along well with a lot of girls, and I have gotten to a point where I want to try to take a friendship further with a girls many times, but I just don't know what it is I'm supposed to do to move from friends to more than friends. I have been waiting for a girl to make the first big move because I don't know what to do, and that usually doesn't happen.

Right now I'm really close friends with a girl who I like. I wouldn't quite say that she has friend zoned me, its more as though I have friend zoned myself because I'm too afraid to tell/show her I like her. We hangout and flirt a lot, and she hasn't ever done anything to show me shes not interested, but I'm pretty sure she thinks I'm not interested because I've been close friends with her for 3 months and haven't done anything to show her I may be interested in sex or a relationship. When we first met she was really flirty and a bit suggestive, but I didn't know how to respond and I think I made her think I want to be just friends.

Aside from the fact that the two of us are close friends, I'm also pretty good friends with all her best friends and shes friends with a lot of my other close friends too. What should I do to try and see if she's interested in being more than friends? I really like her as both a friend and a potential girlfriend and I'm okay staying friends if she's not interested in me because she's still pretty cool, I just don't know what it is that guys are supposed to do at this point to try and move the relationship to the next level without being weird or creepy about it, because like I said, I've never done it before. Any advice is appreciated, thanks.
Click to expand...

Alright, here's the thing bro, don't worry about being weird or creepy. If a girl is into you then whatever you do won't be weird or creepy, at all. Unless, you do some retarded move and make yourself look dumb then that might be a different story. Here's what you should do. Just keep talking to her like how you would talk to her. If you have her number, keep texting her. When you're feeling comfortable, try making an effort to call her. If you're ABLE then try hold a long conversation on the phone. When you guys are talking on the phone, let say almost every night, that would send her a signal/message that you're into her and she'll probably start to react to that. After that, she's gonna expect you to make a move on her (if she likes you). When you think you guys are "talking" then you start asking out to go on a date. Just two of you guys hanging out. Have couple of dates and here's the important part since you're a newbie. You need to have a heart to heart talk with her, saying that you're inexperience with this whole relationship thing. You need to phrase it something like this, "Hey look, I like you. I really do like you, but there's something that's holding me back and that's me being inexperience in relationship" and you tell her what's holding you back. You're telling her this because anytime in the future that YOU FUCK UP, she'll understand. You're creating something to fall back on. Don't be a dick and use "inexperience in relationship" as an excuse though cause one day she will leave you. I know you really wanna get with her and I hope you do. Right now, the only thing you need to worry about is giving her the signal/message and how she react to it. it's good thing that you and her got close. All you gotta do is send her the signal. Good luck bud. message me further or something if you like my advice and whatnot.

P.S.
whatever move you make on her, make sure she is and she will be comfortable with it. Basically, make a move, observe her reaction, then decide whether to pursue or not. And about the calling part, make sure she's comfortable with it though. You don't wanna call her (Every night) and annoy her. Be sure that you guys are at a stage where you guys can talk almost every night without annoying each other. If you're not at that stage then just text her. If you guys are already texting, a lot, then start calling her. Make an effort to call her and you work your way up to calling her almost every night. Don't be abusing calling every night though cause that can be annoying sometimes.
 
Last edited:
^ I kinda understand what you are getting at but that is a little complicated. It is also a subtle mind fuck, not a big horrible one but nonetheless a mental play. I would stay away from games (even small ones)and just be myself.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top