song

[IloveTheBeatles]

If its bad give me some good criticism, I want to get better

you thought without them you could get by
so you got an empty room
and stayed up all night.

In the room the bed is gone, and the shower just wont turn on
Hey kid you've got to wisen up
everyone used to think you were smart
now they just think your lost.

You think the government's all wrong,
you think your dreams and shadows talk,
you can't be turned on...

its short, im still working on it though

 

[RareForm]

i like it, i would love to see it extended though.

 

[Leg]

seems alright to me, nothing amazing, but it holds together so far...are you going to add music to it?

"you can't be turned on" is a really good line

...man...hey...are you writing this song about me??!??!?
it kinda seems like you could be ehhh

yea i guess it's pretty good, as long as the music won't ruin it