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Some advice needed

floatingaround

floatingaround

Bluelighter
Joined
Jul 15, 2012
Messages
625
Location
NSW
So recently I started speaking to a girl I went to high school with quite a while ago. We never actually spoke or anything in school. For the past month or more we've started talking a bit and learning quite a bit about each other and relised she's into the same things I am (psychedelics, drugs in general) and we connect well. We plan to get on some very nice crystal MDMA aswell, very keen.

The other night I was on a couple valiums and asked her if she would want to go out for drinks sometime, and she said 'yeah sure, sounds good to me:) ' I'm pretty happy to be honest she's a smart and attractive girl.

I guess what I'm caught about is how keen do I make myself appear before we go for drinks. It may sound stupid, but I mean should I always try to keep convosation going or just chill on the messaging. Suppose I don't want to come off as desperate but I suppose not much will matter until we do go out.
 
Just keep doing what your doing :) - you have obviously made a good impression with her already so no need to change before going for drinks. A few nice messages will not go a miss along the way - how was your day, was thinking about you today, looking forward to seeing you etc.

Do you have constant messages with her now? Do you feel that you want to message her more? Test the grounds - txt her and say that your having a great day and hope she is also. See how long it takes her to reply and what she says - if you wan't to speed up the process then why not suggest an earlier 'date' say a movie or something to eat, a walk (something more casual than meeting for a drink).
 
Ask her, when are you free? I'm free blah blah blah you know <days that you're off the next day or whatever>. Then set up a time and day, this week, make it happen. Super casual though, just having drinks. :).
 
Appreciate the replys. I'm not totally sure if I want to say things like ' I was thinking about u today' I don't want to come off sounding to keen do it? We chat through Facebook nearly every day, I feel like I'm coming off desperate when I start convosation with her as its usually me starting it.

I over think way to much about girls.
 
^if she is responding to your messages and is happy in your company and you are both arranging to meet up for a drink I don't think your coming across as desperate at all. Sounds like your doing a great job and she is happy with the pace its going - she may be a bit shy and waits for your messages to be able to reply to you etc.
 
floatingaround said:
Appreciate the replys. I'm not totally sure if I want to say things like ' I was thinking about u today' I don't want to come off sounding to keen do it? We chat through Facebook nearly every day, I feel like I'm coming off desperate when I start convosation with her as its usually me starting it.

I over think way to much about girls.
Click to expand...

Some girls would be okay with that - others wouldn't. I personally would be a bit freaked out if a guy said that to me right away, I wouldn't know how to take that, I'd be worried he was too into it. I'm not speaking for all girls, just myself. I would say chat with her, flirt with her, and then make more of a move romantically once you're hanging out :)
 
Sounds like lonely lost people in their 20s trying to escape boring reality and adulthood through interests in drugs and fretting over stupid details of a relationship that probably won't last anyway.
 
nooneanymore said:
Sounds like lonely lost people in their 20s trying to escape boring reality and adulthood through interests in drugs and fretting over stupid details of a relationship that probably won't last anyway.
Click to expand...

quoted for lack of cynicality and general lust for life. lol

maybe look outwards for positive things?.......
 
floatingaround said:
Appreciate the replys. I'm not totally sure if I want to say things like ' I was thinking about u today' I don't want to come off sounding to keen do it? We chat through Facebook nearly every day, I feel like I'm coming off desperate when I start convosation with her as its usually me starting it.

I over think way to much about girls.
Click to expand...

Don't say that. It may come off as creepy, stalker, weird. Just invite her to go out. Online messaging chatchit is always different.
 
Wow the replies makes me seem like a creepy stalker :D - Note to self, don't tell new potential partners that I was thinking about them. Mind you not that I'm thinking about getting rid of my current partner that is.
 
Bearlove said:
Wow the replies makes me seem like a creepy stalker :D - Note to self, don't tell new potential partners that I was thinking about them. Mind you not that I'm thinking about getting rid of my current partner that is.
Click to expand...

Lol! See, if my boyfriend texts me that, it'd be cute.
But if you're just starting to see someone, some girls would totally be into it and think it's super cute and romantic and all that, but others just wouldn't be. And you don't know the girl THAT well in the beginning so you don't always know how she'd react. Personally, I'd stay on the safe side, but that's because I wouldn't be into that so early in a potential relationship :p aha
 
I didn't mean it as 'I was thinking about you today when watching my mom in the shower' or 'when I was choking myself with my belt whilst knocking one out to Glee' but in a friendly way about how a song made me think about that time we were out etc. They had been talking for a month and were hitting it off so I thought it would be nice - anyway Glee is starting and I can't type with one hand so %)
 
^^ Hahaha, I totally get it. But you've gotta know the person and whatnot for it to work. And it could come across the wrong way too, even if you didn't mean it in that way. :p lol
 
Sounds like a double bind from that perspective.

Are people really that socially retarded in this age of instantaneous wireless communication?

God forbid one expresses a genuine interest in someone lest they come off as needy or worse yet, creepy.

8)



:)
 
Phew. Wait for all the texting and whatnot till you've actually established a relationship. Texts convey no tone or context, and have screwed up so many relationships. Besides, you don't need to do that, she already agreed to a date!!

Relax.
 
Appreciate all the replys and different perspectives.

She's been been giving me a miss lately, won't reply to Facebook messages when she's seen them, takes 12 to 24 hours to reply sometimes. This is the shit I hate that girls do, fuck. It feels like she's showing she doesn't care and that I should ask about this date a second time to confirm things. Ill still probably do it, overall I'm just confused.

Be simple ladies.
 
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