compulsivegirl
Greenlighter
- Joined
- Oct 26, 2015
- Messages
- 4
Hello everyone, not new to this forum but I haven't been back here for a loooooooong time. This is actually my second account, can't remember the password to my first one. First time I discovered this place was when I was 16 ( I am 23 now) and just beginning my foray into drugs (specifically MDMA). Those days seem like lifetimes ago. I've been stone cold sober since mid October, but I did have a few drinks on NYE. Have had a serious drinking problem for about the last 3 years, the brain fog from alcoholism is what drove me to stop.
Anyway, I feel like I must be going through PAWS right now. The last month has been fucked up. From waking up every night drenched in sweat, fearing that I have cancer and going to the ER in the middle of the night. All my bloodwork and xray have come back fine so I don't think I have any actual health problems. My mind feels like its cycling like crazy, I feel a constant impending doom, I get panic attacks when I'm at the store. It's a sunny day in the middle afternoon and I'm hiding in bed right now. I can't concentrate, I feel like I'm going crazy. Not sure what to do anymore. I want this to be over and to feel normal again. I'm scared I'm going schizo or something. The urge to relapse is strong don't know if it's worth it.
Anyway, I feel like I must be going through PAWS right now. The last month has been fucked up. From waking up every night drenched in sweat, fearing that I have cancer and going to the ER in the middle of the night. All my bloodwork and xray have come back fine so I don't think I have any actual health problems. My mind feels like its cycling like crazy, I feel a constant impending doom, I get panic attacks when I'm at the store. It's a sunny day in the middle afternoon and I'm hiding in bed right now. I can't concentrate, I feel like I'm going crazy. Not sure what to do anymore. I want this to be over and to feel normal again. I'm scared I'm going schizo or something. The urge to relapse is strong don't know if it's worth it.
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