Try posting on The Dark Side section of Bluelight. There are some posters there who are truly helpful when it comes to mental health issues and depression.
I can agree with all the posters who responded here.
And please, seek medical advice...it's dangerous to quit CT off alcohol due to the seizure risk.
Eww you may be in for a rough ride. My habit for a long while has been half gallon of vodka & 10+mg of Clonazapam/Alprazolam and besides seizures the delirium tremens get horrifying(ha ha...try it). Some detoxes won't even take you being such a high risk of mortality. Barbiturates are the key.
when I was in a psychiatric hospital, I met a very sane woman who enjoyed staying in hospitals when things got tough. The trick is to tell them you're suicidal and have a plan. Tell them that for as long as it takes to feel better. This was on medical. Good luck my friend