Mugz
Bluelighter
nah, just jacket potato and stuff, we've gone to chip couple times too. He has things to do on mondays and fridays meaning i cant cook for him anyway.
Realised then that I'd always love her, but not in the way I had when we were together.
snolly said:Six years on and she's still my best mateI adore her kids and her husband and we talk pretty much every day. Never thought that'd be possible but I often think how lucky I was to not just fuck it off and walk away and maybe if we hadn't met that day in town, I would have.
But yeah I'm not one for severing ties unless it's absolutely necessary, I don't think I would ever do it unless they hurt me in a malicious way. I understand cheating and stuff hurts but it's not always done out of malice and can be moved past eventually, even if it takes a while.
Weird weekend. Had a quiet Saturday night at a mate's flat - beers, tunes, weed etc. -both of us being too broke for a night out. Then we decided to nurse a few pints and eye up the arty women of Chorlton the following afternoon.
Who walks in? Only the first woman I ever fell in love with, and still my longest relationship to date. The one who intorduced me to proper unconditional affection and consideration, then broke my heart (properly) for the first time and started the booze / drug downward spiral. We lost touch about seven years ago (when said spiral began and I was bitter toward her) and though we've seen each other fleetingly several times, neither of us has dared break the ice.
Anyway, in keeping with the spirit of reconciliation and getting my house in order (and because I was a wee bit drunk), on my way back from the toilets I stopped by her table, looked her in the eye, smiled and just said "Cohen". I wasn't sure what the reaction would be.
To my surprise, she smiled back - a genuinely warm smile - and replied with "[my surname]".
We went through the usual "how've you been" and the like, and as she was with a friend and I sensed I was intruding, I made some remark about having to go and finish my pint. To which she replied "come here, sit with me and bring [my friend] over too".
What followed was a really pleasant half hour / hour or so, with a lot of wounds that have faded over time but never quite gone away being healed. It was the same for her, though slightly different - she'd been a kid just short of her 21st birthday when the split occurred, whereas I was a train wreck struggling to come to terms with my twenties and my various demons. A world apart.
Anyway, I finally got to thank her for what she did for me and the way she taught me how to trust somebody, open up to them, and (yeah, I'm going to say it, then I'm going to spit, just so you know) love them.
She also taught me what happens when you're unprepared for the emotional fallout when relationships either run their course or become unsustainable. Though time and subsequent failed romances have made me realise that the latter was an inevitable consequence of the former. And I told her that too. And besides, she was just a kid; not only that, but one with the world opening up in front of her just as mine began narrowing down.
If I could only begin to describe the emotional release that occurred when I looked her in the eye and said "I really loved you, you know" and "Thank you" then I would. Though it's totally unnecessary for me to do so - anybody who's been in love will understand. To have the first repeated back to me, along with "I'm really, really glad to see you again" - well, there was a bit of ill-disguised choking up and covert drying of eyes necessary after that.
So we spent the rest of the time talking without any awkwardness at all, and then realised it was almost ten years to the day that we met. And that neither of us could remember the date, and how that was probably a good thing.
And then her (and consequently my) student-era housemate from years ago turned up, and she was still a snide, conceited bitch. Which was also reassuring in its way. They went to get something to eat with a couple of hipsters in said housemate's entourage, but not before I'd bagged myself two hugs. Proper hugs.
So - basically it was a guy bumping into his first love and making up. It was so much more than that though, as anybody who's had the pleasure of such a pleasant reunion will know.
Good to see you again, as warm as ever and still beautiful in every way. No doubt our paths will cross again, though we'll probably never be regular drinking buddies. In the meantime i'd just like to say you deserve the very best in life and you made my day.
Thank you.![]()
Anyway snoo thread. My mum's cancer is totally gone from her body after her latest PET scan :D
brimz said:A post by Sam that involves women from his past that doesn't end in some sort of fuckery .
maxalfie said:Great post about yr first love Sam.
The first love is the love that will never be forgotten.
Its such a powerful emotion when first experienced and you have never felt anything like it before and you may never feel love as strongly as that again.
I still recall my first love from my school days,met her when I was 15.So 26 years later and I still occasionally find myself thinking of her and how she is doing.
I wonder if she's married with kids, happy or sad and if she is still a total babe.
First loves can be so beautiful and also so painful, either way they are never forgotten.
Anyway snoo thread. My mum's cancer is totally gone from her body after her latest PET scan :D
Anyway snoo thread. My mum's cancer is totally gone from her body after her latest PET scan :D