Snafuwocky

It could've been anyone that wanted to delete their account, when that happens all of their posts are simply merged into the jabberwocky account.
Do they get renamed Jabberwocky cause never seen that user
 
Hope you are well my friend. I am going to keep the vision of Master that comes out the other side. I feel Mastery when you post so I am hoping you are ok and letting any nonsense pass like scenery through a box car. You've done it before.
 
crispy is ignoring me
as far as i can see
yet theres no good reason he should be

ghostfart and tech too,
its not cool
an explaination would do
or maybe not to you

jessfr blocked me,
as far as i can tell
yet no answer as to why
it really feels like hell

im sorry for being rude,
for talking about babies that are nude
but i just want an explanation,
why did u all ghost me dude?
Maybe if we knew who you really are and who you used to be you wouldn't be ghosted. BTW....cool poem.

Far as I can tell you are just a newcomer without a very good track record.
 
crispy is ignoring me
as far as i can see
yet theres no good reason he should be

ghostfart and tech too,
its not cool
an explaination would do
or maybe not to you

jessfr blocked me,
as far as i can tell
yet no answer as to why
it really feels like hell

im sorry for being rude,
for talking about babies that are nude
but i just want an explanation,
why did u all ghost me dude?
Okay. I just conducted my own little investigation because something seemed peculiarly not right here.

Why are you addressing that above to the OP?

You know him well already? So well, he owes you special social access?

Regadless, he's having a hella hard time mentally.

I am a bit perplexed, how a troll like yourself has kept around, doing nothing but inviting, prodding, stirring, moaning!

To crop up here, making no contextual sense at all, giving NOTHING (classic troll characteristic).

But this is what we call, a step too far.

Even if you are not a troll, really doubt that though, you have no duty bringing up silly delusional personal beef and attitude that way, this thread.

IMO. It's insensitive, disrespectful, totally inconsiderate.

A mod will surely be evicting you from premises fairly soon.


You got some kicks though right?

Well no actually. You would find there are more honest kicks to walking an honest path.
 
im not gonna just lie and say im not a troll at all but when i troll its to give helium to my depressed spirit with a liver transplant. i am trying to travel a psychedelic stairway back into life and my post are actually legit. i do wanna figure out easy ways to keep a stream of n2o running and make cough syrup type concoctions to carry drugs easily. so my shit about drugs is 100% legit even if i dont deliver it in a very serious way 100% of the time. that poetry is not a joke at all. if a whole group of people randomly ghosting me can only he answered thru a cliche piece of poetry i will write that god dammit. u wanna know the context? the context is i was in a server that may or may not exist anymore where i was being a human almost all the god damn time and i told 2-3 edgy jokes, i got banned, it is what it is. at that point only one of em ghosted me in which is a little {term that follows bluelight TOS} that i ghosted and blocked for having a babyish temper tantrum at me. now all of the sudden all of em ghosting me but someone i will not name for a billion dollars.

now PLEASE ask what someone is thinking before u try to tell them what they are because thats toxic as fuck.
Why are you posting zero value replies on someone else's thread? The value you bring to this thread is negative, so zero value was an overstatement. Nobody owes you anything. Before you post to someone elses post, ask yourself if you are contributing anything to the conversation, or in fact, harming it, when the answer is nothing/ harming, don't hit reply.


I woke up this morning ready to go to urgent care... then, suddenly, I felt totally fine? (kratom may actually be acting as an antipsychotic here?, there is evidence of this I can link)

There is something fucking weird going on with me and I have no idea what it is...

I honestly think I may be prodromal psychosis. I'm like 90% sure. IDK WTF IS GOING ON

I DON'T KNOW

I'm going to be crazy as fuck again in a few hours once this alcohol wears off

"While kratom is most commonly known for its affinity for mu-opioid receptors, research has shown one of its active components has effects on the same receptors to which some antipsychotics bind, such as D2 dopamine, serotonin (5-HT2C and 5-HT7), and alpha-2 adrenergic receptors displaying possible indications of kratom to be used as both antipsychotics and antidepressants. "
I've read a bit of your contributions to this site (prior to joining), and wanted to thank you. I'm not sure it helps at all, but I hope you keep making an impact and that your situation gets better! Hang in there!
 
I didnt realize this was going on @Negentropic . I sensed something was off but I was still hard on you, sorry man. Hope you're feeling better, try to get some good sleep and take care of yourself.
 
crispy is ignoring me
as far as i can see
yet theres no good reason he should be

ghostfart and tech too,
its not cool
an explaination would do
or maybe not to you

jessfr blocked me,
as far as i can tell
yet no answer as to why
it really feels like hell

im sorry for being rude,
for talking about babies that are nude
but i just want an explanation,
why did u all ghost me dude?
Shut up nerd
 
so im imagining its 3 points until ban? im not gonna interact with u rly till i get to understand the punishment i was given, then i can interact
Did you even read the link to the warning system thread that I sent you? 2 points is a one day ban, goes up from there.
 
crispy is ignoring me
as far as i can see
yet theres no good reason he should be
well you're lucky enough I just happened to scroll down and glance at this on my way to the bottom to post

I am intentionally ignoring everyone, I responded to a few random PMs when I was drunk the other day, but have not read a single post in this thread. It makes me sad, and brings emotions into a decision which is already difficult enough to make. I love all of you guys, I just can't right now.

If I have not responded to your post please do not feel bad or insulted. I just can't right now. I literally haven't even looked at all these posts from my friends. It will make me too emotional and it will make my situation worse.


just posting an update.

I was on the precipice of another full blown psychosis not 2 days ago. I nearly drove myself to urgent care. I do not have any APs left, I do not have insurance, I do not have the cash to pay for a doctor without insurance. I am all alone with no family or friends to help. My stress level and fear was growing exponentially, only exacerbating my prodromal state even more.

The voices came back. I couldn't sleep. My heart rate was elevated for nearly 3 days straight. I started having unexplainable intense rushes of physical euphoria (this is NOT good major prodromal state) among other symptoms.

I had to throw away all my cannabis, I had to flush all the alcohol. Everything. Intense exercise. Everything I can do... to arrest this psychosis.

I seem to have somewhat stabilized with complete sobriety over the last 48 hours. It's not going away, but at least it is not seemingly getting worse. I signed up for Obamacare, and am begging that I am accepted... holding my breath... but it won't kick in for another 2 weeks anyways.

Now I am in limbo. Now I wait... 2 weeks for a hopeful salvation, deliverance from this evil in my head.

take care of yourselves <3
 
Youre Back Great GIF - Youre Back Great Kevin Alejandro - Discover & Share  GIFs
 
well you're lucky enough I just happened to scroll down and glance at this on my way to the bottom to post

I am intentionally ignoring everyone, I responded to a few random PMs when I was drunk the other day, but have not read a single post in this thread. It makes me sad, and brings emotions into a decision which is already difficult enough to make. I love all of you guys, I just can't right now.

If I have not responded to your post please do not feel bad or insulted. I just can't right now. I literally haven't even looked at all these posts from my friends. It will make me too emotional and it will make my situation worse.


just posting an update.

I was on the precipice of another full blown psychosis not 2 days ago. I nearly drove myself to urgent care. I do not have any APs left, I do not have insurance, I do not have the cash to pay for a doctor without insurance. I am all alone with no family or friends to help. My stress level and fear was growing exponentially, only exacerbating my prodromal state even more.

The voices came back. I couldn't sleep. My heart rate was elevated for nearly 3 days straight. I started having unexplainable intense rushes of physical euphoria (this is NOT good major prodromal state) among other symptoms.

I had to throw away all my cannabis, I had to flush all the alcohol. Everything. Intense exercise. Everything I can do... to arrest this psychosis.

I seem to have somewhat stabilized with complete sobriety over the last 48 hours. It's not going away, but at least it is not seemingly getting worse. I signed up for Obamacare, and am begging that I am accepted... holding my breath... but it won't kick in for another 2 weeks anyways.

Now I am in limbo. Now I wait... 2 weeks for a hopeful salvation, deliverance from this evil in my head.

take care of yourselves <3
Call me if you need to chat brother day or night. Enjoy your re-charge.
 
well you're lucky enough I just happened to scroll down and glance at this on my way to the bottom to post

I am intentionally ignoring everyone, I responded to a few random PMs when I was drunk the other day, but have not read a single post in this thread. It makes me sad, and brings emotions into a decision which is already difficult enough to make. I love all of you guys, I just can't right now.

If I have not responded to your post please do not feel bad or insulted. I just can't right now. I literally haven't even looked at all these posts from my friends. It will make me too emotional and it will make my situation worse.


just posting an update.

I was on the precipice of another full blown psychosis not 2 days ago. I nearly drove myself to urgent care. I do not have any APs left, I do not have insurance, I do not have the cash to pay for a doctor without insurance. I am all alone with no family or friends to help. My stress level and fear was growing exponentially, only exacerbating my prodromal state even more.

The voices came back. I couldn't sleep. My heart rate was elevated for nearly 3 days straight. I started having unexplainable intense rushes of physical euphoria (this is NOT good major prodromal state) among other symptoms.

I had to throw away all my cannabis, I had to flush all the alcohol. Everything. Intense exercise. Everything I can do... to arrest this psychosis.

I seem to have somewhat stabilized with complete sobriety over the last 48 hours. It's not going away, but at least it is not seemingly getting worse. I signed up for Obamacare, and am begging that I am accepted... holding my breath... but it won't kick in for another 2 weeks anyways.

Now I am in limbo. Now I wait... 2 weeks for a hopeful salvation, deliverance from this evil in my head.

take care of yourselves <3


hey if you gotta go the ER or whatever, just go, they'll back date your insurance so you'll end up being covered - ive seen that happen many times

don't worry about that part
 
If you go to the Department of health and Human Services they will hook up up right away with Medicaid if you are in crisis. They can also get you an EBT card. I know we spoke about this a few months ago. Did you ever go there?

Like krink said........if you have to hit up the ER to get stable they will bill Medicaid ( even if you have applied but haven't been approved yet ).

Why sit at home and suffer when help is there. ER can hook you with a 3 day supply of AP's until you get a Dr. You can also get a consultation with a therapist. You don't have to be admitted to speak with one before discharge. There's help out there man but you have to go get it. As much as our members here feel for ya and hope you get better we can't will you out of the house to go get some help. Your two feet have to do that.

Nobody wants to see you get better more than I do.
 
Negentropic, we had our disagreements in CE&P (but such is CE&P), and I'd hate to see you go, I like your posts. Bluelight can be a rock, and it can also be an avalanche. Feel free to PM me, one of my friends just told me they accused their long term girlfriend of being a CIA agent the other day (we live in the UK and she's a hippie ffs! =D).

That was a Woody Allen quote, of course. =D <3

Big love, hang in there, don't delete your account or whatever. <3x
 
Shilajit might help this man guys!

I swear it. It's really worth a shot.

I have a schizophrenic friend who visited me a few weeks ago he is also addicted to heroin and has been using crack cocaine and he has always been insatiably restless and fidgety and uncomfortable.

I offered him a dose of the quite fantastic, nootropic type natural decomposed Himalayan resin supplement Shilajit.

He instantly felt noticeably calmer and more settled and less intruded upon in the usual schizophrenic way he completely stopped fidgeting and his anxiety and cravings for drugs in general dissipated and his depression and mood lifted.

I offered it to him because from when I first took it I honestly felt it had the potential to at least help him with his drug addictions especially heroin but also potentially with his schizophrenia and for the entire time he was with me that day he reported extremely positive effects.

@Negentropic
 
Tech as in me? I am sorry but maybe I missed a dm or something. Not trying to ignore anyone. I'll be honest I'm not even familiar with this username
I don't think he was referring to you. He knows these people from Discord and not on the forum. Have you been on Discord the last couple of months with other BL'ers.

If you have he MIGHT mean you.
 
Shilajit might help this man guys!

I swear it. It's really worth a shot.

I have a schizophrenic friend who visited me a few weeks ago he is also addicted to heroin and has been using crack cocaine and he has always been insatiably restless and fidgety and uncomfortable.

I offered him a dose of the quite fantastic, nootropic type natural decomposed Himalayan resin supplement Shilajit.

He instantly felt noticeably calmer and more settled and less intruded upon in the usual schizophrenic way he completely stopped fidgeting and his anxiety and cravings for drugs in general dissipated and his depression and mood lifted.

I offered it to him because from when I first took it I honestly felt it had the potential to at least help him with his drug addictions especially heroin but also potentially with his schizophrenia and for the entire time he was with me that day he reported extremely positive effects.

@Negentropic
Hi AutoTripper, never heard of Shilajit is it recent or a traditional medicine used in Ayurveda?
 
Top