Poetry Skeletons (a poem about living with anorexia)

[Noahhatesme]

Today I wore a skeleton
The only clean outfit in my closet
I took it out an iorned it
Zipped the ribs up tight

Today I was a skeleton
Took my recipt to the store
Wanted a size smaller
But they wouldnt take returns

Today i buried a skeleton
Couldnt recognise myself
In any mirror or kitchen sink
Swore to myself I'd leave to rest

A blade cannot wittle shame
But it sure as hell can sting
Remove flesh and organs
To spare myself the pain

Because today was full of skeletons
I wish were flesh and blood
when i lay my soul to sleep
I wont care that i was young

 

[Hannah Capps]

Yup…I know this feeling well

 

[Asclepius]

As an anorexic & bulemic, in my formative years, all I'll say is, it's a coping mechanism for one(like me) who can not cope.
Forget the fetishism of thinness & wanting to disappear - it's just a self destruct. Simple as; another way of slow-self destruction, a protest of how shit, things are and how you're needs are not met - through others and yourself, respectively.

Life is very, shit. However, there is ultimate, beautiful things to capture and engage in, should you be conscious, enough & patient enough to experience - destroying yourself can bring care from others, indeed, it can fulfill a need in desperate times but it's temporal, the underlying, pain needs to be healed. Main thing is, to get yourself strong. Growing older, you need to gain wisdom, not pity/sympathy. You also, need to invest in other people who you care about/who care about you.
Outside that, you can build a spiritual, appreciation for the things in life that matter, you will, if you choose to care for yourself now, that n your hardest of times. Care for yourself, even if you find it hard to accept yourself. Invest in what matters, emotionally, in your mind and being, always - this ED will pass, leave you alone & faced with reality, after it's gone -the longer you leave it, unaddressed/uncontested/ facing it: the harder it is to address the issues it has kept you from dealing with, as time passes.

Eating disorders are the worst manifestation, of cultural, bs/narcissism ever...look, play the diet game but pls don't let it capture your soul. You aren't born to be dominated by society's pressures/life's injustices/cruelty/ unchecked narcissism -dont ever validate the disappearance of yourself or, any other being - always, aspire to fight, rise above, darlin'.

Don't ever take the BS, more seriously, than your beautiful, self.
Live, Fight, Love.

 

[Noahhatesme]

As an anorexic & bulemic, in my formative years, all I'll say is, it's a coping mechanism for one(like me) who can not cope.
Forget the fetishism of thinness & wanting to disappear - it's just a self destruct. Simple as; another way of slow-self destruction, a protest of how shit, things are and how you're needs are not met - through others and yourself, respectively.

Life is very, shit. However, there is ultimate, beautiful things to capture and engage in, should you be conscious, enough & patient enough to experience - destroying yourself can bring care from others, indeed, it can fulfill a need in desperate times but it's temporal, the underlying, pain needs to be healed. Main thing is, to get yourself strong. Growing older, you need to gain wisdom, not pity/sympathy. You also, need to invest in other people who you care about/who care about you.
Outside that, you can build a spiritual, appreciation for the things in life that matter, you will, if you choose to care for yourself now, that n your hardest of times. Care for yourself, even if you find it hard to accept yourself. Invest in what matters, emotionally, in your mind and being, always - this ED will pass, leave you alone & faced with reality, after it's gone -the longer you leave it, unaddressed/uncontested/ facing it: the harder it is to address the issues it has kept you from dealing with, as time passes.

Eating disorders are the worst manifestation, of cultural, bs/narcissism ever...look, play the diet game but pls don't let it capture your soul. You aren't born to be dominated by society's pressures/life's injustices/cruelty/ unchecked narcissism -dont ever validate the disappearance of yourself or, any other being - always, aspire to fight, rise above, darlin'.

Don't ever take the BS, more seriously, than your beautiful, self.
Live, Fight, Love.

I agree compleatley with the fact that eds are shitty, and that we should be putting effort into recovery and trying to better our self image. Theres also a part to play on the side of realism. Many of us will and have recovered, and unfortunetly many never do. The poetry i write about ana has absolutely noting to do wuth fetishisation or romantisisation, and everything to do will convaying a feeling. Thats what peotry is. An artistic description of emotion. Im gonna say this once and once only. I do not premote or encorage anorexia. Fact of the matter is that people have it, and they deserve a safe space to talk about thier feelings and be validated in the sense that being disordered dose not make you less than anyone else. Its important that everyone has the chance to feel heard.
Although i appreciate the sentiment, and i know you have good intentions, dumbing down ana to simpky being a reflection of society and cultural pressures is an oversimplification. There are many reasons people may develop ed's that have nothing to do with the actual weight.
There is a time and place for the get well soon rhetoric, but sometimes its better to just let people express thier feelings in a productive and constructive way (such as poetry) without compleatly disregarding what they are actually saying and posting a fucking novel about recovery.
I. Get. The. Point.
But this isnt the time or place.
It would be like someone saying "i personally dont like sppaghetti squash because i think it tastes bad" and then someone responding with a list of all the health benifits of spaghetti squash. The nutritional value dosent change how that person percives the taste, so its kind of irrelevent to the conversation. If they were telling everyone that spagetti squash is bad for you and telling everyone not to eat it than that would be a diffrent story, but thats not the case here.
I never told anyone to go get an eating disorder. I never told anyone that they shouldnt recover. I never said that i think its healthy. Therefore this is irrelevent.

 

[Asclepius]

I agree compleatley with the fact that eds are shitty, and that we should be putting effort into recovery and trying to better our self image. Theres also a part to play on the side of realism. Many of us will and have recovered, and unfortunetly many never do. The poetry i write about ana has absolutely noting to do wuth fetishisation or romantisisation, and everything to do will convaying a feeling. Thats what peotry is. An artistic description of emotion. Im gonna say this once and once only. I do not premote or encorage anorexia. Fact of the matter is that people have it, and they deserve a safe space to talk about thier feelings and be validated in the sense that being disordered dose not make you less than anyone else. Its important that everyone has the chance to feel heard.
Although i appreciate the sentiment, and i know you have good intentions, dumbing down ana to simpky being a reflection of society and cultural pressures is an oversimplification. There are many reasons people may develop ed's that have nothing to do with the actual weight.
There is a time and place for the get well soon rhetoric, but sometimes its better to just let people express thier feelings in a productive and constructive way (such as poetry) without compleatly disregarding what they are actually saying and posting a fucking novel about recovery.
I. Get. The. Point.
But this isnt the time or place.
It would be like someone saying "i personally dont like sppaghetti squash because i think it tastes bad" and then someone responding with a list of all the health benifits of spaghetti squash. The nutritional value dosent change how that person percives the taste, so its kind of irrelevent to the conversation. If they were telling everyone that spagetti squash is bad for you and telling everyone not to eat it than that would be a diffrent story, but thats not the case here.
I never told anyone to go get an eating disorder. I never told anyone that they shouldnt recover. I never said that i think its healthy. Therefore this is irrelevent.

^ Hey!


For sure, this is a 'safe space'; were it not, I could not have expressed, what I did, nor you, either .

Again, I've lived through it(albeit, it is an individualistic experience) but of course the commonality, of it makes it, a contagion, like I had mentioned, above in my post.

The funny thing, I found is how you assumed from what I wrote, misrepresented, or, even denegrated, what an individual with ED could possibly, express.

I question the limits, you have set for yourself & maybe are putting, upon me; through projection?

...I can not read anything, in my posts, that has limited, your expression, in the way you have perceived?

I could be wrong? ...however, i still, stand by the truths I have relayed, so, do feel free to contest them with rational, arguments.

As for feelings, I haven't experienced your capacity for space of empathy, associating with mine; given that I have come through a hell ( granted it was only alluded to and not spelt-out) like many, which is interesting?

 

[Noahhatesme]

^ Hey!


For sure, this is a 'safe space'; were it not, I could not have expressed, what I did, nor you, either .

Again, I've lived through it(albeit, it is an individualistic experience) but of course the commonality, of it makes it, a contagion, like I had mentioned, above in my post.

The funny thing, I found is how you assumed from what I wrote, misrepresented, or, even denegrated, what an individual with ED could possibly, express.

I question the limits, you have set for yourself & maybe are putting, upon me; through projection?

...I can not read anything, in my posts, that has limited, your expression, in the way you have perceived?

I could be wrong? ...however, i still, stand by the truths I have relayed, so, do feel free to contest them with rational, arguments.

As for feelings, I haven't experienced your capacity for space of empathy, associating with mine; given that I have come through a hell ( granted it was only alluded to and not spelt-out) like many, which is interesting?

Im not projecting jack shit. I was mearly refering to the part of your previous reply that implied i was romanticizing ana and making it very clear i wasnt. Also was refering to the social aspect from because although media influence is a factor in may peoples ed, it is not always a factor. Ik for me at least i couldnt give half a shit what body type the media is idolizing (also i understand some do) because it changes so fucking quickly that by the time you achive that goal, its already out of fashion. My point was i just felt you were over generalizing a bit.