Six months without any...sigh.

[littlepenguin]

Well, I tried, but apparantly regaining the beauty you have lost during drug addiction is not even "A topic for discussion".

Oh well, it wasn't actually for myself but as a favour to those who might need it. Sad really, as I could present a full program of renovating your looks from the inside out, taking every aspect of your appearance into account that would make a world of difference, and not just some random tips that don't achieve much by themselves.

Guess some just don't get laid much, or are interested to. Seems like many here are content just being high and posting random stuff on this board. I am just very interested in helping someone restore their lost beauty as I know the profound effect it has on your life.

seriously, chica - you need to pull your head out of your ass/the clouds/move off the island you live on because you are seriously in some type of fantasy world and you really need to stop speaking for others or assuming what 'we' are all about.


if you want to take your 'beauty' advice somewhere, maybe try the health forum.

as for "guess some just dont get laid much, or don't have an interest in it..." BAHAHAHAHAH, oh dear - pretty sure I saw you whining in another thread that you haven't got laid in 6 months. If I went 6 days I'd probably die. and the reason i'm out getting laid is because i'm not a self absorbed broad with my head in the clouds spending "at least 3 hours daily on my beauty regemine...."

::::HORK::::

I think you may be better off spending that three hours a day on your brain, soul and heart and figuring out why you are so undoubtedly insecure with yourself and maybe improving upon that...then the outsides might start to look a little better.

 

[cambi]

Hello guys,its a forum and you must post no other activity will be done.... i was just joking with you people..hahaha,yeah i read this thread its a fantastic......

 

[Nymphette]

ninae,
I'm certainly no expert on drugs or addiction, but reading your posts it comes across to me that you are just swapping one addiction for another. What will happen if this finding happiness through outer beauty doesn't work out, back to the drugs ?

Also a question for all, can a recovering addict even be and remain a recreational drug user ?

 

[escapingwonderland]

No sex for me for 7 months, and I am so flipping proud of myself. I am addicted to the high of getting off, but wanted to get rid of the boyfriend I had so I had to severe that tie. I think about sex alot, but it isn't worth wasting my time with a loser I don't want to be with. I am prepared to go as long as it takes.

 

[Ninae]

seriously, chica - you need to pull your head out of your ass/the clouds/move off the island you live on because you are seriously in some type of fantasy world and you really need to stop speaking for others or assuming what 'we' are all about.


if you want to take your 'beauty' advice somewhere, maybe try the health forum.

as for "guess some just dont get laid much, or don't have an interest in it..." BAHAHAHAHAH, oh dear - pretty sure I saw you whining in another thread that you haven't got laid in 6 months. If I went 6 days I'd probably die. and the reason i'm out getting laid is because i'm not a self absorbed broad with my head in the clouds spending "at least 3 hours daily on my beauty regemine...."

::::HORK::::

I think you may be better off spending that three hours a day on your brain, soul and heart and figuring out why you are so undoubtedly insecure with yourself and maybe improving upon that...then the outsides might start to look a little better.

I don't know why I even bother with replying to these posts, because they're just based on misunderstanding and being ill informed about everything I say.

1. I DID take my topic to the health board and it was closed, that was what my comments were about, and I was a bit pissed because there are others here who might find it helpful. But when I post kind of offensive sounding things that is never anything really serious and usually more of joke, which should be clear enough by now, so I don't know how everyone are getting so offended. Especially when you all keep telling me how ugly I am on the inside, as well as on the outside, while at the same time critcising me for worrying about my appearance.

2. I have been posting here for 2 1/2 years and kept my posts stricktly about drug related questions, it's first now I've even pothered posting anything personal, because I had something I felt really strongly about, and then it was a bit like opening Pandora's box, but it should suggest I am not really so much of an attention seeker. It's more about just wanting to connect, and my reasons for posting are usually wanting to share something, trying to start a serious discussion on a topic I find interesting, or informing people of something I think might be useful for them to know. So the way I see it my reasons for posting are generally positive and I'm just confused how you keep managing to turn it into something negative.

3. About that, people's ability to turn things into something negative, even when there is no need for it, amazes and frankly depresses me. But I've come to realise it's because they really enjoy it, and spending a thread slamming the OP for any kind of reason, even when it's not anything legitimate and that had made clear seem to give them much more pleasure than a friendly/positive interaction. Guess that explains why there are so many bullies in the world and other things I've always found hard to understand.

 

[Pagey]

^Ninae, if some people are insulting you it's because you do come across as very arrogant in some of your posts...maybe you don't mean to, or as you said you're not entirely serious, but it's really not clear. Example: "Seems like many here are content just being high and posting random stuff on this board". You're clearly being very nice.
In case you haven't noticed, people don't get 'bullied' or whatever in the other forums outside of the Lounge, so it's not about the website, it's about how you're making yourself sound.
Rant over.

 

[Ninae]

^Ninae, if some people are insulting you it's because you do come across as very arrogant in some of your posts...maybe you don't mean to, or as you said you're not entirely serious, but it's really not clear. Example: "Seems like many here are content just being high and posting random stuff on this board". You're clearly being very nice. .

Maybe not, but I actually had my reasons for saying just that...however, I'll just keep that to myself as it will only make things worse. That's why I don't always bother trying to justify myself.

Anyway, as for my "arrogance", it's just a bit of fun and if I was a guy I would just be called cocky and funny. My ex was like that, and just loved that about me. He would reward me for it and it was mostly just in a joking kind of way. But many just can't accept that kind of thing from a female, like you're supposed to always be self-effacing and humble, but that is just not me.

Or, I am humble enough when it really comes down to it, or don't like to hold myself above others or look down at others as less than myself, which is what it really means. I just can't be bothered to overdo it just to please people in a fake kind of way.

 

[Pagey]

I don't think it has anything to do with the fact that you're a woman, so am I for that matter and I can be extremely ironic etc. when I want to, it's just that you do come across as entirely serious in your posts, which I think is the issue.
But anyway, doesn't really matter.

 

[Ninae]

I don't think it has anything to do with the fact that you're a woman, so am I for that matter and I can be extremely ironic etc. when I want to, it's just that you do come across as entirely serious in your posts, which I think is the issue.
But anyway, doesn't really matter.

I believe it's called "deadpan" or "dry wit"- a type of humour that you, being French, might not understand (that would be another example of that type of humour). You need to have been exposed to it enough to have thick enough skin to bear it, not to mention enjoy it or find it amusing, which I guess I have.

More typically British. Americans tend to take it too seriously and find it offensive - can actually make them very, very angry. It's kind of funny as life just isn't worth taking as seriously as that, and when you both share or are on the same page with that type of humour it can be very funny (though maybe not so much with sensitive subjects).

 

[pharmakos]

ninae vs. the world

 

[littlepenguin]

I believe it's called "deadpan" or "dry wit"- a type of humour that you, being French, might not understand (that would be another example of that type of humour). You need to have been exposed to it enough to have thick enough skin to bear it, not to mention enjoy it or find it amusing, which I guess I have.

aaaaand there's a really good reason right there how you come across as purely arrogant. I can already tell you what your response to that will be, something like this:

waitwait - before that, I'm going to translate your sentence from your words to what your audience is likely to hear:
"I believe it's a type of humour that you, being the idiot frenchperson that you are, probably wouldn't understand, because we over in {insert country here} are above all of that, we are hilarious and smart enough to understand this darker side of humour that not only the frenchpeople don't understand, but those humourless americans over there, they get all pissed off by it because they just take life wayyyyyy to seriously. Maybe if you were as lucky as I am to be a part of this dark humour life, you sissies might have built up some thick skin to something such as this, and you would think I was totally hilarious, because, well, I am."

what your likely response would be to mine:

"I'm not being arrogant, I'm just stating a fact, we {insert nationality here} just happen to be very fluent in our dry humour, I'm just saying that's the way it is, and the French simply just don't have that kind of humour in their bones, they haven't been exposed to it like we {insert nationality here} have but I don't know why I need to justify this to you since you *obviously* don't understand what I'm trying to say, I'm just here trying to amuse myself. If you knew me, you'd probably think I was very funny, one of my multiple x boyfriends told me so, and he used to let me go down on him as a reward for my funny jokes."


okok the last part was probably a bit of below the belt and unnecessary, but c'mon here. you're pretty much asking for it at this point....

Anyway, as for my "arrogance", it's just a bit of fun and if I was a guy I would just be called cocky and funny. My ex was like that, and just loved that about me. He would reward me for it and it was mostly just in a joking kind of way. But many just can't accept that kind of thing from a female, like you're supposed to always be self-effacing and humble, but that is just not me.

Whomever told you that humility is a bad quality was definitely MISTAKEN. humility is graceful, pleasant, and an excellent trait to have.
I think that people, especially on this forum, don't expect any certain 'type' of female; there's super sweet ones, shy, quiet, loud, obnoxious, friendly, funny - you get the point. you can be whatever you want to be...but if it constantly comes across as demeaning, rude and arrogant, well, you can be assured that people are probably going to point that out to you because 1- they can 2- it makes people feel ishy (if thats your intent, then by all means, go on) 3- generally gets a rise out of people because it's incredibly irritating to see it scattered all over the forum they enjoy reading and posting at.

you'd fit in great here; i live in the city deemed the #1 hipster city in the nation.

here's a good hipster example/joke:

Q: how many hipsters does it take to screw in a lightbulb?



A: well, it's a really unique number and you've probably never heard of it...

 

[Pagey]

^THANK YOU. Great post.

 

[Nymphette]

I believe it's called "deadpan" or "dry wit"- a type of humour that you, being French, might not understand (that would be another example of that type of humour). You need to have been exposed to it enough to have thick enough skin to bear it, not to mention enjoy it or find it amusing, which I guess I have.

More typically British. Americans tend to take it too seriously and find it offensive - can actually make them very, very angry. It's kind of funny as life just isn't worth taking as seriously as that, and when you both share or are on the same page with that type of humour it can be very funny (though maybe not so much with sensitive subjects).

UMM.... I thought the Brits invented dry humour, black comedy, dry wit. well at least that's what I've seen from most of their comedians, shows and the chats down the pub. But I maybe wrong.

 

[Ninae]

UMM.... I thought the Brits invented dry humour, black comedy, dry wit. well at least that's what I've seen from most of their comedians, shows and the chats down the pub. But I maybe wrong.

Wasn't that what I said?

"More typically British"...

Not American, or maybe French, so much.

 

[Ninae]

aaaaand there's a really good reason right there how you come across as purely arrogant. I can already tell you what your response to that will be, something like this:

waitwait - before that, I'm going to translate your sentence from your words to what your audience is likely to hear:
"I believe it's a type of humour that you, being the idiot frenchperson that you are, probably wouldn't understand, because we over in {insert country here} are above all of that, we are hilarious and smart enough to understand this darker side of humour that not only the frenchpeople don't understand, but those humourless americans over there, they get all pissed off by it because they just take life wayyyyyy to seriously. Maybe if you were as lucky as I am to be a part of this dark humour life, you sissies might have built up some thick skin to something such as this, and you would think I was totally hilarious, because, well, I am."

LOL. What is funny is if I HAD said that it would be a great example of that type of humour...The whole point is that you can say things like that and get away with it because people know you're only joking, and actually it's a way of taking the piss out of yourself, or not minding making yourself look bad or presenting yourself in a poor light. Showing that you actully don't take yourself too seriously or think that highly of yourself. And it does seem to be lost on most reading my posts, including yourself. Also, few Americans would say something like that as a joke about themselves, so I get how you would tke it so literally.

Your post also show you take these things faaar too seriously. But you're right about the former boyfriend. One guy I was with had just that type of humour and would say things like "Do I look like someone who needs to pay to get laid?" and it was more hilarious than arrogant, Well, he was pretty arrogant in a way that people don't mind, and sure wouldn't complain because I had the nerve to say things like that.

But that kind of thing doesn't translate as well in writing as in real life, it's so dependent on someone's personality, their delivery and emotionl state, etc. Kind of like when I say "If we meet I will definitely be able to bed him". Of course I don't mean that really seriously and it's half-joke. So sorry if we're not amused by the same things. And I meant that I have more than enough genuine humility, or the kind tht counts, just don't feel too oppressed to say things like that just for a laugh.

 

[Edvard Munch]

aaaaand there's a really good reason right there how you come across as purely arrogant. I can already tell you what your response to that will be, something like this:

waitwait - before that, I'm going to translate your sentence from your words to what your audience is likely to hear:
"I believe it's a type of humour that you, being the idiot frenchperson that you are, probably wouldn't understand, because we over in {insert country here} are above all of that, we are hilarious and smart enough to understand this darker side of humour that not only the frenchpeople don't understand, but those humourless americans over there, they get all pissed off by it because they just take life wayyyyyy to seriously. Maybe if you were as lucky as I am to be a part of this dark humour life, you sissies might have built up some thick skin to something such as this, and you would think I was totally hilarious, because, well, I am."

what your likely response would be to mine:

"I'm not being arrogant, I'm just stating a fact, we {insert nationality here} just happen to be very fluent in our dry humour, I'm just saying that's the way it is, and the French simply just don't have that kind of humour in their bones, they haven't been exposed to it like we {insert nationality here} have but I don't know why I need to justify this to you since you *obviously* don't understand what I'm trying to say, I'm just here trying to amuse myself. If you knew me, you'd probably think I was very funny, one of my multiple x boyfriends told me so, and he used to let me go down on him as a reward for my funny jokes."


okok the last part was probably a bit of below the belt and unnecessary, but c'mon here. you're pretty much asking for it at this point....



Whomever told you that humility is a bad quality was definitely MISTAKEN. humility is graceful, pleasant, and an excellent trait to have.
I think that people, especially on this forum, don't expect any certain 'type' of female; there's super sweet ones, shy, quiet, loud, obnoxious, friendly, funny - you get the point. you can be whatever you want to be...but if it constantly comes across as demeaning, rude and arrogant, well, you can be assured that people are probably going to point that out to you because 1- they can 2- it makes people feel ishy (if thats your intent, then by all means, go on) 3- generally gets a rise out of people because it's incredibly irritating to see it scattered all over the forum they enjoy reading and posting at.

you'd fit in great here; i live in the city deemed the #1 hipster city in the nation.

here's a good hipster example/joke:

Q: how many hipsters does it take to screw in a lightbulb?



A: well, it's a really unique number and you've probably never heard of it...

Exactly. When typing up my first response in the nature of swapping addiction for one another, in her case, her persistent desire to always feel "high" with someone, I already knew what she was going to respond with, "I'm not an addict and haven't been using ..." etc as what I would expect other addicts to say in the same situation. I decided to give her the benefit of the doubt and yet she gave me the common theme what former addicts say, "I'm not addicted to anything, haven't been using, blah blah blah."

Next to that, she barely has a question and the her OP is simply about her, not any worries or concerns, which is arrogant in itself. We're not taking things too seriously Ninae, we're just re-iterating the things you've already said.

 

[Ninae]

Thought that was a lot of personal attacks for one silly post that was obviously meant as more as a sharing/confessional kind of thread, which there are many of on this board, and anyone who was that bothered by was free to keep out of.

Also, lots of presumptions and judgements without even knowing much about me or giving me the chance to respond. I've never denied having an addictive personality or tending to swap one addiction for another, would gladly admit to it and thought it would be obvious, but don't really see how that sets me apart on a board like this and it's not the place I'd expect someone to take the moral high ground about it. What I meant was that I haven't been ADDICTED to any substance in more than two years, which is a positive thing for a drug-user in itself, and also that I've been cutting down on my use lately for the sake of my health. so it's been a positive development for me.

Anyway, I don't go around holding grudges and don't even remember the names of those who like to attack me, so we can start over again and I just wanted to make a little update, just to show how difficult it is for me to move on from an emotional state when I've first been put into it. Like I have been going on about, I've been having beginning feelings for some small-time dealer I just saw for tops 10 minutes, and I can't get him out of my head, it's been 3 weeks and no chance. No idea why, really, but it's not as if you can control who you develop feelings for. At least that has always been the case for me.

I was just waiting to get over it, then whis week it worked out like we talked casually on the phone a few times, and I'm VERY responsive to voices, so that has tipped me over the edge and I now feel 101% in love, with even stronger feelings than I had for my last boyfriend who I was with for 3 years. I'm not even kidding, wish I was, but it's not even funny. Damn it, I KNEW something like that was coming, that was why I even bothered to bring it up in the first place - felt like seed had been planted inside me and was growing. When I first start having those feelings for someone it usually means something and they don't go away. I don't know, just an inner knowing, I guess, but I was really hoping it wouldn't work out like that, don't know why things have to happen this way.

So now it has come to this I'm thinking I might as well give it a try and see how it turns out. And as soon as I can afford it, which will be over a month, I should have cleaned up well enough and feel happy with my appearance (i.e. have good skin and be at my ideal weight, not to mention make an effort with my looks) that I'll feel presentable enough to see him. "Presentable" meaning there's a chance for mutual attraction, which I didn't really feel the last time as I've been really neglecting my health and appearance. But when I was made to feel as if I probably couldn't expect to be found particularly attractive by someone I was attracted to I decided enough was enough (And please don't say this is superficial when it affects how someone feels about you and treats you so much and must be one of the less superficial things in life to worry about).

I just need to see him and find some way for us to communicate and be alone. I know it's kind of crazy but I just feel like I can't NOT and it's not even and option (emotionally) anymore. So hoping to find some way, though it will largely depend on coincidences outside my control. Not that I'm planning to sleep with him on the first night we really meet. Even if I wanted to that would be super-trashy. But I would be willing to anything close to that just to get a sense for it and as if I'm in this state there's no way I'll be able to control myself.

In other words, I'm not thinking as much about sex or finding a sexual partner anymore, but more about LOVE and amazed at the amount of genuine love that I'm able to feel for someone I saw for tops 10 minutes and don't even have a clear memory of how looked like. But I can't separate sex and feelings, anyway, so to me it's really the same thing.

 

[Licence to Pill]

Ideally he'll be a casual user, but not a junkie, so we can have lots of naughty fun and sex...sounds like a good plan?

I wish my girl had that mindset. Sex and drugs are so much fun. Unless you mean meth. Shit's bad news.

 

[Ninae]

Yea, my ex was always more fun when he'd had some Coke or whatever and not just drunk. Like, he could keep going for 8 hours. Well, he could do that anyway.

 

[Lysis]

Mannnn, I didn't read all the posts but I don't know why people are laying into Ninae for wanting to keep her looks up. I don't see anything wrong with making yourself look nice, and a little makeup does wonders.

Ninae, I understand where you're coming from a bit. I think these things happen naturally and not when you are purposely looking for someone. I've always had relationships with people I've been able to casually talk to for a while, and then the magic happens. When I go out on a date and it's someone I don't know, usually the forced interaction of it being a date ruins it for me. I'm sooooo much more interested in friends first and then a relationship, and you kinda sound like the same to me.