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***Singles Thread*** - WE LOVE IT.

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trancegirle said:
I think people do this more as a comfort thing.. Keep telling yourself the best is yet to come to keep yourself from dwelling on past mistakes

You will only really find yourself happy with someone when you see them as your equal. Not unworthy of them or too good for them but that your equally worthy of each other.
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I agree with this.

Plus has anyone noticed you are soooo much more magnetic when you are just focusing on yourself / friends / having a good time / wearing no makeup and not overly sexy clothes hahah

I guess what gets to most people is that a lot of people are waiting for the one to come along - but there isn't a defined period of waiting (eg 6 months or whatever) so it is an undefinable wait and that sends people round the bend.... so then to justify the wait you build up the next relationship to come in your head. then when you stumble on it you invest too much in it and scare the other person off / get scared and run away yourself.

Seriously, better to take a chill pill and not stress ... and just accept that this is this period of your life and to make the most of it - cos its quite possible one day you will have kids and a mortgage and a husband / wife. better to make the most of your freedom while you have it. "life is what happens when your planning something else"
 
MoeBro said:
I know that i'm not exactly dating material.
I'm a cunt, i'm selfish and lazy.

I'd say that until I change at least somewhat, I won't ever really overestimate my worth as someone's boy.

This thread reeks of desperation btw.
Just thought I'd add that.
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You know what would be a good idea? Starting a "selfish lazy cunt" dating service. Your potentials would already know you're a selfish lazy cunt, you wont really have to date anyone as they would also be selfish lazy cunts and you would have an automatic date available for important events (weddings, balls etc) without having to go looking.

One thing is pissing me off about not having a guy around on a permanent basis is steak.

I really love cooking good meals. I made a beautiful scotch fillet with a bourbon cream sauce, mash potatoes and beans the other night. Two steaks as they seem to come in packs of two at the shops. So I cook both. And there is no one around to eat the other beautiful cut of steak with perfect sauce.

Sure, I could invite some mates around to eat my food and I will do so when I get in the mood for cooking for more than two, but none of my friends would give me thank you sex afterwards. Bummer!
 
^ Jesus! The way you talk about handling meat has me all worked up, get your cute ass to Brisbane and cook me some hot steak!
 
It seems people would prefer not to say if they have any problems with me because they're afraid I'd go off at them or something. Girls are especially notorious for this.

Is there something wrong with me?
 
^ *backs away slowly w/o making eye contact*

Seriously tho, i think if you are self away enough to be thinking of something like that then its unlikely to be a problem

Doppelganger said:
Back to being single [oh wait... status hasn't changed in 3 years.].\ Oh well!, does anyone else think that people, in general, over-estimate their self-worth as partner material?

Now before anyone jumps down my throat and reminds me of all the people who are so obviously insecure - I agree with you, they're everywhere. However, these same people, when rejected, will almost always be thinking "He or she never got to see my true colours/ I would've given the world/ it's his or her loss and they'll never even know it."

People from all walks of life, manage to convince themselves that it's the other persons loss for missing out on the GODLY relationship they were offering .

I also hear regularly "Yeah, I've realized I can do so much better than all the previous people I've fucked." I've seriously began to marvel at the way the majority of the population put themselves on this almighty pedestal, and in the process, dispose of the worth of just about everyone they've crossed paths with.
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Ive the same concern. Are my expectations unrealistic?
If im actually interested its not like i constantly strike out* ... dunno

* Ok, there was one exception :p
 
zephyr said:
but none of my friends would give me thank you sex afterwards. Bummer!
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Useless bunch of friends you've got then ;)


Doppelganger said:
^ But at your core, despite whether you say it out loud or not [insecurities always take the stage first,] do you really think that you're not worthy of that person?

Edit: And eventually, do you not begin to think that you're better than that person?
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No, I wouldn't say I think I'm not worthy of them, but that's a far cry from stating that I think I'm so much better than them.

The first person I was involved with, it took me a long time to accept that it wasn't some fault of mine that caused the relationship to end. I'm still on good terms with the person and hold them in pretty high regard. The second person, I ended things pretty early on, mainly because I felt that they deserved a whole lot more than I was able to give at that point in time. Again, I'm still friends with them.

Maybe it's just my outlook on people, but even the guys I've been involved with casually who've done assholish things, I still like to think that given the right circumstances they'd definitely treat someone the right way. We're all people, we all make mistakes yada yada. I certainly don't consider myself to be some kind of perfect catch. There's probably only one guy I've hooked up with that I don't really think that highly off. Mainly cos he's still stuck at age 19 and is a drunken tool who tries to get me to set him up with my friends whenever I run into him.

Of my circle of friends, I can think only of two who'd fit your description. And they are both girls with quite a healthy ego ;) They rarely focus on their own faults in the relationship stakes. Onwards and upwards has always been their motto...
 
m4dd0g said:
Seriously tho, i think if you are self away enough to be thinking of something like that then its unlikely to be a problem
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self aware?
 
I don't think it's normal at all for someone to think they're better than their SO after they've been dumped. It's a pretty natural reaction to try and work out why you weren't enough for them etc etc. I think a lot of people will say, 'pffft totally better off without them' but I wonder how many actually think that or just want to convince themselves it's true?

My ex was somewhat flawed but I still think most of the reasons we broke up had to do with my (many) shortcomings. That being said, I'm still happy to admit the guy was a total asshole and I think a few of my friends would probably agree. ;)
 
everyone, be honest here

do you see one person in this thread and think "now I fucking know how you've continued to remain single"?
 
I should probably clarify that I started taking an interest in these observations after reading a philosophical book on happiness.

In that book, it showed a study where people were asked to judge themselves on various traits: physical appearance, intelligence, strength, confidence, power, etc.

They were asked to score themselves on a scale of 1-10 with 5 being average. Results from the study proved that most people saw themselves as 'above average' - the average person rating themselves a 7.8 average in total [if my memory serves correct.]

Edit: Don't remember the author because I was just flicking through when I was in borders, but if anyone is interested, I can find out. Was good stuff :).
 
m4dd0g said:
Ive the same concern. Are my expectations unrealistic?
If im actually interested its not like i constantly strike out* ... dunno[/I]
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I'm not sure what you mean by the second sentence...

As for expectations being unrealistic - for me, I don't have any anymore. I honestly have no expectations of finding a suitable partner. I hope one day the right person comes along, however I no longer see it as my rightful due.

In fact, as of next year, I'm taking a life path that would make having a partner [amongst all my other complexities] extremely difficult.

Maybe I've lost faith... I don't know... I'm happier than I was, so I doubt it. But my expectations definitely aren't unrealistic, as they're non-existent. As my mind currently plays, the only partner through the years I envision myself with is my [nearly] 4 year old :). Any expectations I had of a man, have completely faded. This isn't depressing or anything, it's actually awfully refreshing! FREEDOM, I guess you could say.
 
Doppelganger said:
I should probably clarify that I started taking an interest in these observations after reading a philosophical book on happiness.

In that book, it showed a study where people were asked to judge themselves on various traits: physical appearance, intelligence, strength, confidence, power, etc.

They were asked to score themselves on a scale of 1-10 with 5 being average. Results from the study proved that most people saw themselves as 'above average' - the average person rating themselves a 7.8 average in total [if my memory serves correct.]

Edit: Don't remember the author because I was just flicking through when I was in borders, but if anyone is interested, I can find out. Was good stuff :).
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If you can find out that would be awesome. It sounds like a really interesting read.
 
Doppelganger said:
^ So have some balls and do it, rather than crying like a little bitch over the argument we had the other day!
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That's your problem, you're too immature to understand the difference between an arguement and a discussion. The reason I didn't continue with it is the same reason most people on this site want nothing to do with you, as soon as you think you're right you won't let ANYONE else have their say becasue you've got the only point to make right?

Trust me, I'm deffinatly not the only one who thinks this, but as people have told me they just don't fucking bother with you because it's like talking to a brick wall. I disagree, I still believe the brick wall has better input than you...
 
MoeBro said:
^^and this is probably why you'll live the rest of your life, and then die single
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Good point. I was joking with my comment anyway :D .

In all seriousness:-

When meeting someone I try NOT to think anyone is better or beneath me.I feel most people have good and bad points eg: me ;) .

Judging people can be subjective,plus it would depend on what they judge said person on anyway.

I want to find a girl that is honest,caring,we have similar personality(sense of humour included of course :) ),interests and attracted to each other.Easy said than done,for me,I know :o .

To gher,don't be too hard on yourself ;) It does NOT have to be you that is the problem.Some people,can't communicate,are spineless,have a 'hidden agenda',illogical,have issues,among other things................

You are NOT meeting the right girls(A problem I'm having too :( )
finding the right ones can be a hard thing - If only all the right girls and guys could find each other easier.
 
This thread is full of people with low self esteem and no social skills. In other words, the perfect place to pick up people.

It's almost better than an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting.
 
^^^Hahaha, sooooooo agree on that one. You're all kunts, start smiling, start talking, start sucking, you'll be happy
 
Fatz: People in glass houses...

I think Doppelganger is actually very good at explaining herself, unlike you, who just resort to vague insults like 'most people on this site want nothing to do with you'.
 
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