I never ever see her now, but I know it's companionship I'm looking for really.
![:\](https://bluelight.org/xf/BL_Images/Orig_Emoji/wrygrin.gif "wry grin :\")
I know if I saw her afterwards I'd probably feel guilty, but if I didn't have sex with her I know I could go round and get high with her (I wouldn't be using H as much as she does, I use it once every 3-4 months).
She was telling me how fucked up things are and how she has no friends and part of me was thinking, "I should go round and see her." but she's in a very self-destructive aggressive place right now and I'm not sure if me trying to help would tip me over the edge too either make me more depressed and suicidal or more depressed and back to using H again, though I can't see that as I prefer methadone.
Bro I'm going to tell you EVEN IF you find companionship OR sex from this girl its not going to put a smile on your face.
The problem here in my honest opinion has NOTHING to do with women.
About 7 years ago I was going through a similar sort of mental break down with my sex life.
And let me TELL YOU what you're going through in this arena is NOTHING compared to what I've seen some guys go through. You know whats an even worse situation then the one you're in now? Being married to a woman who is terrible for you, but having had made that decision just to validate your masculinity.
LOTS of men make that decision with their lives. I'd mention a percentage but I'm likely to offend a lot of people if I did. Whatever the case it usually goes like this.
They go through highschool *maybe meeting a girl or 2. Go through college MAYBE meeting another girl or 2. They DON'T have real success with women. Most of their relationships were fueled by desperatness and insecurity and one day in their later years they meet a woman and get married. Its usually the FIRST WOMAN who is WILLING to marry them. But they tell themselves they are happy they found someone, and go back into denial usually untill a few months before divorce when they realize what bad decisions they made.
The divorce rate is not a sign that marriage is a failed religious construct. Its a sign that TOO MANY people do not possess the right social skills, or were not properly socialized in their younger years.
You're only real way out of this is to resocialize yourself. Otherwise, anytime you meet a girl that half way meets your criteria, you will develop a severe case of oneitis and become extremely jealous anytime she talks to a guy that has something to offer her.
I've seen so many divorced men, college students fresh out of break ups, come to our lairs crying for help. Some of these guys have been fucked beyond recognition during their break ups. And when they come to the lair its not uncommon for them to quit their jobs and their entire lives in general just to learn the art of seduction.
There are communities in every major city in the world, active lairs in almost every state in US. New Jersey alone has 3 active lairs, New York has a handful of them.
I'm not talking about a dating coach I'm talking about a mission to improve your life by learning how to communicate to women. I talk about this seldomly in other threads but I was a social retard who was actually contemplating suicide after a girl I was dating for **4 weeks** dumped me because I was "too quiet".
Well guess what? I never killed myself. Rather, I sulked for about 3 months and started reading about the Venusian Arts. MANY MANY MEN have serious issues establishing simple rapport with people. There are books, seminars, models, lairs, audio tapes, all sorts of shit meant to help you get better with women.
And although a fair majority of it is complete and utter bullshit (most the books you find in barnes and noble) if you stick with "community material" anything thats been vouched for by the community, its most of the time spot on.
My way to open conversation with women always usually involved compliments. Something about her hair... nose.. teeth... ANYTHING I could find I thought as long as I let her know I liked it that she'd fuck/blow me or be my friend.
I honestly prob haven't complimented a woman in the last 7-8 years. Not because I'm not a nice guy, but theres WAYYY better ways to compliment people that don't involve a single word being said.
Remember "good luck chuck" when he gave Jessica Alba a bandaid on the second date because she was a klutz? THATS a compliment, a backhanded one at that, but women appreciate those things usually way more then the drueling out of your mouth "your hair is soo sexy" lines. Besides EVERY GUY (that talks to women) compliments almost EVERY attractive girl mostly because somewhere deep down inside they really just wants to bang her.
Even if the guy is rich and hot and has a lot going for him I still think most women prefer originality or just a guy who is NOT so average. To become good with women, it really is not so much about learning what to do, its actually learning what NOT TO DO. This is truely the core of seduction. A man who never shuts his mouth is more likely to talk himself out of sexual encounter than into one.
But you DO have to talk, you just need to make your words count.
And you do this by studying Venusian Arts, practicing, and treating it completely nonpersonal. David DeAngelo has a seminar on sexual communication that goes way beyond the call of duty. He covers EVERY single aspect of an encounter, using men who have been seducing women their entire lives and modeling their behavoir during the seminar. All they talk about is what works and what doesn't work, but its truely profound to watch. And the reason is because SO MUCH of the things we think we need to do (compliment/gifts/nice guy behavoir) all really wind up turning a woman off.
We are biological sexual creatures, and not to insult a single woman here, but the LAST person you should really be getting advice from is a woman. The reason why is woman derive such a large part of their sexual pleasure by putting up walls of resistance and having a man overcome it. You can't really get an answer on here besides "they should be kind, cute, have a job..." and all that worthless advice.
Would they tell you that it turns them on like nothing else when a man is able to attract a woman then not act sexually interested towards them? Women WANT to chase. They don't realize it but when you have one chasing you, they can be a thousand times more perverted and out of control then any man you know. Calling your phone 36 times in one day (true story), crying if you don't return a call.. they LOVE emotions. Even if their bad emotions women just love to feel.
Thats why even though Venusian Arts incoporates a multitude of logic and models, the core of it rests on the ability to change a womans emotional state. Tell a women a sexy story that has nothing to do with you or her, and you JUST MADE HER HORNY (if you learn the skills of good story telling first of course). You have to learn how to transition their emotional states because thats what its all about. You didn't do anything special, you just triggered her mind into an aroused state by using a simple story. There are a million and 1 different ways of doing this. Once you have their minds working, it becomes easier and easier to push their emotions in the direction you want.
Stimulate > Arouse > Isolate
Attraction > Comfort > Seduction
There are models on this that exist for a reason. You can't seduce a woman if you can't attract them first. So at first you never focus on seduction, you focus on how to trigger attraction. Go find David DeAngelo online and find EVERYTHING you can about him.
Then find fastseduction.net and start reading everything on their website. Then find "Mystery" and the M3 model and memorize it, take it into real life and communicate to women according to the model.
Its the difference between giving a man a fish and teaching him how to fish. You will never be happy even if you're given a fish for free because once that fish is gone you have no idea how to get another... so you starve. Same way you get half way through a yogurt and want to cry because its almost all gone (ok bad example lol).
But please take me for my word, no single force had so much influence on my social skills as Venusian Arts has. Watch some of the gurus in action and you'll crap your pants. They have ritualized the mating process to perfection and it would be extremely wise to just see if you think they have anything to offer. You can even go on youtube and just type in "PUA" or "venusian arts" but the seminars/dvds are really what you want to get your hands on. I can help you out with that too if you're interested as I've been known to have a copy of everyone ever made (like 120 dvds).
Take care! And forget the prostitute, just go read about what I mentioned.
edit: one more thing this is important. There are "gurus" who got into seduction at one time in their lives because their sex lives sucked and essentially became pinnacles of the seduction community. Guys like "Mystery" or Neil Strauss who were truely good at one point but have now for the most part becomes business oriented sell outs.
Sites that are quick to sell anything you need to avoid.
These sites should be enough to get started:
fastseduction.net
theattractionforums.com
You have other sites like mysterymethod.com, venusianarts.com which are the more modern sales oriented places and have for the most part fell of thier game. Mystery method was actually sued by theattractionforums over this because it was mystery original site. When he left the site to make money off seduction he tried to infringe his former site (now ran by better people) for copyright violations so his material would only be available on a single pay for site. It never went down and he lost, and his model is available on TAF for free and his site if you pay for it. Although I have the upmost respect for mystery he IS by all means now a sell out. So a lot of times the older sites will always trump the new ones. Just stick to the 2 I mentioned and David DeAngelo. Ok thats it.
