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  • TDS Moderators: AlphaMethylPhenyl | paranoid android

Sick of lack of female company

sounds like you have huge expectations for your relationships and put alot of pressure on the girls that you get involved with. some girls like it when a guy comes on strong, but most appreciate a more subtle and laid back approach. you can't rush a relationship, so if its only sex, keep it that way. if you are looking for a relationship, dont rush it, but dont be afraid to go for it. got to take risks if you want to get anywhere in this game. failure isnt a bad thing, atleast you'll know what not to do next time. go get some fresh threads and some new lines and get back in there.

keep going man, dont give up. just because a chick says she wont/isnt going to have sex with you doesnt mean she wont/isnt going to have sex with you. like NO mean NO, but i've had 2 girls in my bed now, half naked and she says she doesn't want to fuck just so she doesnt look like shes just giving it up.

last thing- being in the 'friend zone' isnt nearly as bad as its made out to be. if she wont fuck you chances are there is she has atleast one friend that will. now take your situation for instance. idk whole story, but your interested in this chick and she says she aint havin it just wants a friendship. you could play it two ways: 1) get mad, be like fuck that bitch, get hurt, etc 2) understand that maybe your looking too deep/forward into things and it isnt necessarily a bad thing if she doesnt find you as her type. girls talk alot, and if your a decent guy to her there is a pretty good chance that you'll meet her friends, and so on. ton of fish in the sea, just got to use the right bait.
 
n3ophy7e said:
Please try not to listen to your mother, mate. She obviously has huge problems if she's repeatedly telling her son to kill himself. Has she been diagnosed with any mental disorders? It sounds like she needs serious help.

As for you, I can kinda imagine why you wouldn't want "depression" on your file, but anxiety and depression very often go hand-in-hand so admitting it to your doctor won't be that much more of a step than what they already know about your anxiety. Is it the negative stigma attached to the word "depression" which is making you hesitate? Try not to let that get in the way of you getting the medical help you need and deserve, because medical professionals don't bat an eyelid at things like that these days. Sure in society there still can be a stigma about depression and other mental disorders but no-one other than you and your doctor ever need to know, unless you tell them.

You mentioned that you've had counselling 3 times in the past. Is that 3 individual sessions? Or 3 periods of multiple sessions each, with 3 different counsellors? Did you find that it helped at all?
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I don't know what's wrong with my mam, she's mentioned that her dad (My Grandad, he now has cancer, she was his favourite but was still a twat to her at times) was a bastard to the family. He'd go out blow all his money at the pub and come home and verbally abuse the family. She has a love/hate relationship with him and I think the fact that he's dying of cancer is getting to her.

Regarding the counselling I've had 3 different counsellors (Multiple sessions), one of the 'counsellors', my last, was a psychologist. I never mentioned depression to them. I did mention today my 2 suicide attempts in the last 2 weeks to my opioid addiction mentor/helper. It's a place I go that the doc's referred me to, they try to help people with drug prob's get stable, come off, get jobs, whatever you want. They don't force you to do anything. But yeah, I mentioned the 'D' word to him and told him that on Monday I got put on Citalopram (3rd time's a charm), I said to my doc' I needed it for anxiety which he knows I've had prob's with before.

The reason I don't want depression on my medical records is because if it's on them then I can apply for a firearms license, but my suicide attempt in December when I ended up in Hospital may have fucked that one up, so I'm thinking about waiting a few years before I apply. I phoned the pigs and found out (Here in the UK) being on Methadone's not a problem, they look at each case individually.
 
User Name Here said:
I'm sorry you feel this way but let me tell you something that might help: As a female I can say with 100% certainty that when a guy comes off as really depressed and does things such as attempt suicide, well, it's a huge red flag and most females stay far far away.
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that is sort of very funny, even while true and important and i don't mean to be making fun in any way. maybe helps to show lighter side of things, which might actually be relevant to your point too.
 
that's a huge red flag for MOST women to stay away, others will come running to help the wounded underdog and nurse him back to health. chances are you don't want those women, the word ISSUES comes to mind. User Name Here is right on, it is funny and complete common sense too.

but there's no formula, relationships just happen, strange beautiful and painful things they are.
 
Play the game my man, when you meet the right one you´ll know and she will know instantly and like someone else said , these things happen when you dont expect them to , not when you are looking for one..............remember this dont seem to keen with any girl you just met be a little more laid back........do not and I say it again do not show that you like em too much,nothing pushes bitches further from you than when you make them fell they´re worth more than they are, but if you give a bitch a more cool approach, then they place more value on you ......just human psychology pal..........anyway killing yourself over a bitch no way, you´ll be fine just stop putting pressure on yourself, go get yourself a prostitute to ease the frustration...sometimes theyre cheaper than bitches LOL
 
It's also pretty important to remember that when a girl is getting to know you, if you come across as the kind of guy who would even contemplate suicide in regards to any aspect of your relationship, friends or otherwise, she'll probably run in the other direction as fast as humanly possible. The happier (fake it till you make it) you are with your own life and friends and the less that happiness depends on a woman, the more attractive you'll be to the opposite sex.
 
Killing yourself is no solution to not having female company. And yes, as a female myself, being self-destructive is something that would make one turn the other way. Though as unsettled mentioned, some will come right for you looking to be your savior. I used to be that girl. But it led to sick, dependent, unhealthy relationships. That's not what you want, man, trust me.

Prostitutes have been mentioned, but I get the feeling you're looking for something more substantial. But before you can even begin to look for that, you have to have yourself together and be in a better place. I know it's possible to love someone else while not fully loving yourself, but it seems the state you're in isn't quite ready for a serious relationship.

I know what loneliness feels like. To be utterly, completely alone. Feeling no one could or ever will love you for who you are, as you are. But it does and can happen, especially when you're not looking. I can't accept PMs yet, being a greenlighter still after 3 years, but I have aim if you need some support. I've many experiences with being suicidal, with numerous attempts, even going so far as to put myself in a coma for three days. But things do change and get better. Anyway, it's Rain8114 if you need to talk. Please take care and don't be rash.
 
anterrabae said:
I've many experiences with being suicidal, with numerous attempts, even going so far as to put myself in a coma for three days.
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I did that in December, took an OD (Was cause of Uni' work and arguing with my rent's and my mam saying "Well why don't you commit suicide then!?", I was found 48.5 hours later in my bedroom on the floor in my boxers, a pale shade of blue with pneumonia and hypothermia.

It was pure luck that I was found, it was only cause my dad wanted the headphones that he came into my room.

I was laid on the floor cause at some point during my OD I'd gotten out of bed and fell and banged my head. Ended up in hospital and cause I'm on Cortisol replacement (My adrenal glands no longer make it) they couldn't get my temp' up.

Fucking ambulance man hadn't gave the doc's my Steroid Card that my mam gave him and they didn't check my records. Wasn't until an hour and half of them trying to get my temp' back up that they came back down and asked my mam what drugs I was prescribed and she mentioned the steroids (The Cortisol) and they gave me 600mg IV, that shut my immune system down but got my temp' back to normal.

Cause of the 'roids shutting my immune system getting turned off the pneumonia got worse and I almost died on the Saturday (I was found at 8.30pm on the Friday) and my mam and dad only found out when I improved on the Sunday and a Nurse told them that my white blood cells were not doing anything and it was the cocktail of anti-biotics they'd pumped me with that saved me. My mam was pissed off about that.

Anyway sorry about going off topic. Thank you anterrabae but I don't have AIM I have MSN Mess'.
 
Glad you woke up from that craziness. This type of thing really isn't worth taking your life - nothing really is. Relationships/love/sex is a rollercoaster that sometimes is 'out of service'. Take this time to reflect on what you really want, who you are and what you're looking for in a partner as well as what you can contribute to a relationship.

This periods happen. I'm in a bad spot too right now in terms of 'love life' and am struggling on a daily basis. Just cry when you need to cry, speak up when you need to, find an outlet (a healthy one - be it some form of art or exercise), and try to be more social. Meeting people is key (obviously) ;) . Just don't be the desperate one and don't try too hard. Something good will happen soon. Just keep hanging in there.
 
perhaps like many have said, its not you thats unattractive to them romantically. perhaps its once theyve gotten to knw u and understand your lifestyle, that they may not want to be with someone like that? i know im almost 26 and its been about 6 years since my last 'relations'... sometimes you really have to look at yourself from other's points of view...

but kudos to all the folks recommending an escort dude. Shitm, make a weekend out of it, go to Nevada where its legal and you can find a clean 'tute, and just clean those pipes out man. Once youve gotten over that hump, you just need to get out to other social places and TRY!!! i know rejection sucks, but its not like shes gonna cut ur junk off of you after you ask/talk to her....

just my 2c..
 
The only thing I can say is this: I do understand how one becomes very depressed over time if they feel as if they are not desired. To attract women; you need to FAKE it; because honestly, if I sensed a girl had issues that i really couldnt help her with, as the lack of self confidence comes from within, and also its true, its just unattractive. You may not be, but how you act may be.

Now i will tell you news that you probably don't wanna hear; you definitely have a lot of inner demons, and if you think for a second that being with a woman, even forming a relationship; will magically make you respect yourself, the harsh truth is it WILL NOT. You can become happier from being around certain people, but the confidence that you''re a worthwhile human-being regardless of weather you have a girlfriend or not, has to come from a lot of thinking, possibly therapy, but most importantly, its a decision you make.

I mean...we all know how it feels to feel lonely at times, some people more than others. My life was extremely stressful before my 3 year relationship and it was after. My life was stressful a month ago, I met someone, and its still stressful. I completely respect you wanting to be with a woman for love, but to me, that sounds like you have no love for yourself, and the only way you feel you could get it, is from a girlfriend.

And girls don't like guys that rely on them....so just sit and think about it. Think about what the problem really is, solve that, then look for a relationship. the relationship is bound to come, but your happiness is up to you man. good luck

Just so you know yes ive been lonely, yes ive been hurt, yes i have issues with self confidence, but i think i'm pretty cool. I have had sex too many times to count (this is NOT BRAGGING READ ON), just... like 5 billion other people in this world. When I get sad, that's not what I think about to make me happy, and even if I did, it wouldn't do anything for me. Peace and fake it till you make it man (confidence).
 
Thanks Colmes and everyone else. I've been on 20mg Citalopram now since the 21st of June. I've been confident and faking it when I didn't feel it.

I've having up's and downs and there was this one lass who liked me a week ago but had a boyfriend (Who treated her like shit) but she just flirted so I didn't make a move. Anyway me and a mate went to his place and I ended up having diazepam and passing out and drooling on myself (Sexy, I know) and now she's split up with him. I've sent an add invite via Facebook to her but after her seeing me like that I don't know what she's gonna be like i.e. anti-drugs or just "Weyhey drooling on one's self whilst on drugs, that's great!".:\

Anyway back to the point of my post, it was my 25th on the 28th of June but I celebrated it on Saturday 3rd of July and the original lass who I liked and attempted suicide over a few times ended up coming out. At first I was thinking "For fuck's sake this isn't going to go good, booze makes me suicidal sometimes and she's coming!". Anyway it was going really good, we were dancing, chatting alot, drinking shots and what not until the end of the night and then she starts kissing loads of guys and jumping up on them infront of me (She knows I really like her). Outside at one point she wanted me to protect her and pretend to be her bf cause aload of guys were coming on to her and touching her, so we fucked off. Anyway I ordered a taxi for us (Me feeling shitty) and she meets some guy and he says he's going to pay her fare, so when the taxi came I didn't tell them (Petty maybe) and fucked off.

Once again pissed I got home, chugged down 200ml of methadone, 10 x 10mg Valium and 32 500mg crushed APAP/Paracetamol (Would of been 64 but I passed out, again). The next day (Still now) I felt utter shit, vomitted a few times and thought to myself I can't be aroud her anymore. Her, the drugs, (The citalopram?) and life in general are fucking with my mind.

I was glad when I woke up and regretted attempting to take my life (Again, for a 5th time).

Hopefully Mel (The girl who was flirting with me and who I've sent an add to on Facebook will get intouch), yes I know it won't fix everything but I know I'll definately reduce my drug use which will increase my bank balance.:\
 
Gaz_hmmmm said:
and 64 (Doubt I'll be able to swallow'em all but I'll give it ago) APAP/Paracetamol.
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I OD'ed on paracetamol when I was younger (15?)

Without question the most stupid thing I have ever done.

If you survive, be prepared to throw up green slime for a few days. You will surely be wishing you had died the nausea is that bad.
 
^^^^ Exactly it can take up to 2 days to even begin to feel the effects of a APAP OD so the symptoms might not even be hitting you yet. It's supposed to be a very painful way to go to say the least and you took alot. At 10 grams i think or less is where they start to administer the anti-dote but i could be wrong on that.

None the less get to the hospital and get the anti-dote for APAP poisiong! The longer you wait the less chance it has of working so id suggest going now.
 
Gaz_hmmmm said:
Once again pissed I got home, chugged down 200ml of methadone, 10 x 10mg Valium and 32 500mg crushed APAP/Paracetamol (Would of been 64 but I passed out, again).
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Please please go to the hospital and tell them exactly what you had and when you had it. You will regret not getting yourself checked out dude, seriously. Let us know how you go <3
 
so many good responses to your initial post. seriously just get out there. get involved in something social even just stupid shit like a club or NA or something. and just repeating prior posts but call up a prostitute get a cheap motel room and youll feel much better. i think alot of people on this forum have prolly been in that position i know i have.
 
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