Theres this one thing they call
shared psychosis and its quite
the trip. It feels like your personas
might mirror each other or
something like that.
I cant really explain it well.
Ive had a few soulmate like people
in real life. With whom you seem to
be on the level. With good and the bad.
Its really weird. For me words are powerful
and for some of my friends too.
But now I know my worth better.
I can admit it. Im that strong.
Cause you see I survive. Im a veteran of many battles.
The army too. Of sadistic upbringing. Tho it wasnt that simple.
Im to blame too. You see I killed my grandpa also.
Came back from a drug night to his deathbed.
Talked to him. He cried and died. Truth can kill people.
Its literally that strong. So yes I too might be better of lying.
I still want acid. Even more I need it. I need to recalibrate my brain.
Its horribly in sync. With everything. It just fucking is.
Like there was so much potential. A burning star.
Cause when I choose I do. When I use I lose.
But everyone who knows me would be better of without me.
It just a fact. So I stopped chasing after nurses.
I need a cold woman. Who treats me like shit.
So I can get back to her in bed. Doesnt it sound simple haha.
I wish it also was. But my ptsds complex.
And life too. Also people. Cause they mostly are weird.
They just do. I, sadly, do things this way.
I believe in unnatural naturalism. In a selective non selectiveness.
In being with being but not too much. Not in acting.
Being. Having 1 hour erections. Then jizzing. Then laughing.
You see, thats more normal to me than not.
So yeah. Life is good. I said that cause words are powerful.
Obviously. When I write things out. Some of them end up happening.
So I truly believe I will get better. Even in the face of not being happy.
Tho Im more happy than you might think. Even more happy than I ever believed.
Mostly cause I choose to be happy. Also want to be happy.
Thats maybe why I attract people. Of all kind. Killers, anarchists, schizos, manics,
autistics, complexes, shamans, brewers, growers, fighters, lovers, believers,
liers, cunts. Mostly survivors. Like me.