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  • Trip Reports Moderator: Cheshire_Kat

Shrooms - Extreme anxiety and paranoia - thinking I was gonna die.

njx

Bluelighter
Joined
Jan 31, 2005
Messages
108
I'll start the story from the begining, even though only the second part pertains to the whole experience, I just wanted to share with you guys these 2 trips a week apart on the same batch of muchrooms.
Stories pretty long but I hope you guys take the tmie to read it as it took a bit to write :)

Last Saturday night my buddy, picks up an ounce of shrooms as we have been lookin' for some for quite a while now and he finally got a hold of a contact, so picked up very nice lookin ones for $120. (Ounce, canadian dollars).

So there was like 4 of us chewing I do 4.1 grams at first and my buddy does about 6.5 ( We both have done shrooms quite a few times and up to this point we loved em).

About forty-five minutes into the experience I start to feel really good, arms get extremely heavy and I'm extremely content and relaxed. I'm not getting much visuals though which I love when on shrooms. Things are only breathing and such, colors are brighter , shadows flickering and stuff. I decide to do another gram, so I'm up to 5.1 to try and get these things going.

I'm pretty sure I overdid it, as I kept repeating I don't get it to myself. I was referring to life and what it means, for some reason I just couldn;t fanthom what hte point of life was. I don't think I'm suicidal or anything ( never have suicidal thoughbts ever and I'm a pretty balanced individual imo)
but I just couldnt understand life. I was smoking a cigarette as well and I believe I p[assed out sitting up because I woke up like 10 minutes later holding hte butt of the smoke with the long ember on my pants and everyone freaking out and trippin me out yelling at me get upo get up your gonna burn your pants. Wow was that ever confusing, I jsut wake up, trippin balls , disoriented, people are yelling at me.. wow let me tell you haha :) . Anyways I jump up after like 30 seconds after I realize whats going on and am stil lall disoriented. We got home after this , I couldnt figure out how to even get in my house, ( how to work the door knob as the door was unlocked).

I finally get in my house , can't see shit as I have absolutely no night vision , all I see is a purple wall paper of flowers as I'm walking , groping my way through my house. I lay dfown on my bed because I'm severely trippin out, this is like 2 and a half hours after taking hte first 4.1 grams dose. I'm pretty sure going home was a mistake as I was feeling extremely paranoid, my thoughts were racing , I had no depth perception or anything and couldnt figure what the fuck was going on. I was extremely scared that I was in a permanent psychosis or something. After driking abour 4 bottles of water and pissing about 5 times I start ed feeling much better and much more content with everything. ( I swear water is the ultimate placebo when I'm on shrooms and wanna try to curb the trip). Anyways thats the first story.


Last nite me and my buddy decided to do the rest of the ounce that was left, feeling that I was alrite he had about 7.5 grams and we each did half and were ready to trip. 30 minutes into the trip we go outside, I'm not feeling much yet but I can feel it setting on and smoke about a dime between the 3 of us ( my other buddy that wasnt doing shrooms ). Currently I'm fine but as I start trippin harder I started getting EXTREMELY scared for some reason. I don't even understand what was going on. Does anyone ever get the feeling in they're stomach, its really weird, its when your already truipping , not the first stomach pain, but its klike, a good feeling but not a good feeling at the same time Idunno. I then started getting really hot and it felt like my chest was constricting really bad and it became extremely hard for me to breath. Things started getting really weird there, I started wanting to make myself puke and was tellin my friends I should call 911 or some shit because I was extremely scared. My one buddy ( Best friewnds brother, dealer) was there because we were at my best friends house and he was around kept asking me you dyin marcin you dyin and I was like man its not funny but he just kept laughing andf telling me too calm down. ( He is very experienced hallucinegenic user).

I then told my friend I needed to go home fort a while, even tho my best friends brother told me to stay with people because I will be even more paranoid and anxietic ( is that a word? :P ) if I'm alone, but at this moment I didnt even care I was so fuckin scared. I think the reason I was getting scared was when we were chewing the shrooms some of them were extremely blue, I can tel lthe difference between mold and not mold but I , i dunno I had some misgivings but my friends assured me he stored them in a cool dry place. I think thats what caused the I think I'm dying thing.

So I go home, my parents are up but they're drunk wow was that ever trippy, I run down stairs lay down but the covers up to my chin and all of a sudden I completely relax and am completrely content with myself. It was so weird, I went from like 30 seconds ago trippin thinkin' I was gonna be dead soon to saying to myself... damn your a fuckin dumbass for even thinking your gonna die. From then on it was porobably the best non visual trip I've ever had. The things that ran thrtoug my mind were amazng, I felt one with the world and nature and everything just made sense. It was awesome. I could'mt believe how good I felt after that initial paranoa, anxiety.

Now I have a question for eveyrone. Is it possible that the shrooms were slightly moldly, causing hte weird stomach feeling through the first 2 hours of the trip, or is this normal and I just payed it more attention because I was trippin so hard? Or were they just more potent. It felt like I was tripping WAY harder then I was on 5.1 grams of shrooms rather then the measly 3.5. The stomach feeling feels almost pleasurable, I would say, but then again not, its extremely hard for me to describe what I was feeling in my stomach. My ear canals were hurting as well when I was coming down that was weird. I'm kind of thinking they were a bit moldy and thats why I got such a weird experience.


I forgot to mention when I felt Like I was gonna die at my friensd hosue everything about me wwas shaking my feet were shaking uncontrollably and my body was as well. What hte hell happened to me ?

Thanks for reading and comments are encouraged.
 
I usually eat 5-7 grams and usually experience what you do for the beginning but after the peak I feel really good and really euphoric and all the anxiety goes away. I usually just get the anxiety when coming up for the first hour. Mushrooms can make it seem like your dying and everythings coming to an end which is normal on high doeses but no matter how bad it is in the end its always good for me.
 
yeah, i haven't eaten shrooms in a while because of anxiety and disorientation... however, i found that trying to relax early on and going into the trip slowly (not a lot of stuff going on/stress/stimulation), you can kind of minimize the anxiety. Especially by talking to yourself with the usual tripsitter stuff: "everything is going to be cool, i am gonna be on drugs for the next 6 hours and it'll be freakin' awesome. I am not going to die. Relax and breath." etc. Actually i am going to be tripping in the next month or so at some point and i should keep my own advice in mind.
 
Trippy man, I'd never go off by myself if I was feeling anxious or anything on any hallucinagenics man, that's when people are likely to fuck themselves up. I always thought that nausea was commonplace with shrooms (never tried them). Good Report, I like how you told us about both trips for comparison, even though I would've liked more descriptions about the visuls and your though process's.
 
hey great detailed report, shame about the second one turning a little sour on you, just give it time, then try again with a reall small dose 3 grams. :)
 
Thanks guys. Yah I don't even know why I wanted to go home so bad , I just really did, and it turned out for the best because I just completely relaxed.

I'll try to go into detail into my thought processes for ya'll.

The first time I did the shrooms when I was trippin out it feels like everything is "something", or in other words has an entity to it's own. The was a picture of tupac on my buddies wall, its like his face with graffiti wall in the background and whenever I would look at it I felt a huge attachment to it, feeling as if he was really there and almost talking to it, saying I'll pay attention to you more later. This usually happens to me where I feel in tune with my surroundings and feel connected to everything and want to have small conversations with things. This is usually associated with plant life and the outdoors, which is when I absolutely love doing mushrooms ( 4-5 of me and my buddies tripping on this huge estonian campground where my buddy has a cottage no one else around). The first time I did the shrooms I honestly don't remember much, I got really tired at first and passed out with that ciggy I mentioned.

Although when I finally got home on the first time I was on shrooms when I went downstairs, I felt like I was laying on the ground for some reason and looking UP at everything foir some reason, like my computer chair was 10 feet high, the wall beside me was 10 feet away but yet when I went to touch it I'd smack my fingers on it because my hand would be travelling quite fast. I dunno these shrooms didnt produce too intense visuals , just the usual, I usually like more visuals but I think taking this large doses to me either a) Was too mcuh for me to handle the visuals and I could only have mind awareness or b) They weren't as good as the ones I usually have.

Now, when I was coming up the second time, I had no visual hallucinations to speak of it seems, all I could think of was, why my stomach was hurting like this , am I dying, should I puke, should I go to the hospital, whyu is my body shaking, what the fuck is going on. When I went home my head was just full of wonderful things, I sometimes think along the lines of, what if we are just bacteria or smething extremely small. I dunno, it's something I like to think about alot even when not tripping and when I was it all became so indepth. As in how long does a bug think it lives for, does it seem like a lifetime to it, those couple of days ? I also felt very in tune with nature , the world, and the meaning of life, but I didn't really know the answers. I just felt extremely content and hbad it all figured out hhaa. I don't know why I didn't get any visuals my second time around, like, I did, but not extreme which what I usually like. I only got things like breathing walls, and swirling ground and stuff, when I usually like to conjure things up with my mind and then I can actually see stuff.
For example my buddie cottage we were are lloking at the clouds go overhead and I looked up and thought they were cloudmen swimming, and thats all I saw, just cloudmen swimming around the sky , that was awesome.

Sorry I can't explain my thought processes more in depth, its hard too remember everything when my mind is racing 24/7. Thanks for the responses though guys, I'll definetely do shrooms again , just not until me and all my friends do em in the summer at my buddies cottage, proves for hte best experiences.
 
Good reports. I noticed that you said you had good trips when outdoors and at that cottage. But most of these trips ended up being indoors at nighttime. I think the key to your anxiety could be set and setting. Set and setting are very important in shaping your trip and your thought processes. So I'd encourage you to wait for the summer like you said, you'll probably have much better results and be interested in reading a trip report then.
 
Hehe, I feel the same thing about water. "Oh my trip is turning negative, let's drink a lot of water, it'll make it better".
 
Thanks for all the feedback and advice.

Yah next time I do shrooms it will be at my buddies cottage with nothing to do for the next couple of days and just enjoy ourselves.

I'll surely be writing more trip reports as this was my first one after the responses I got :D

Take it eas all.
 
yea man, good times, just keep to the outdoors and at day time to start with :D great settings those sound like, and try not to think to hard about bad things, maybe have a beer or two just to take the edge off, i know i always like to have a beer or two (maybe even a few cones if i feel like it) just to take the edge of things before i go into them


be safe
nzp..
 
i know exactly wat u mean about being so scard n shit, i experienmced it last night, its not fun at all
 
I love shrooms. I used to abuse them. If that's possible. I would chase and live for that "spastic" scatter brain ego death feeling. It's just a personal thing. But there's something about shrooms that i can't put into words that makes it my favorite.....right along with mescal.
 
from my perspective, it seems like your buddies caused your bad trip the 2nd time...

i mean, man...i've been in a sort of similar situation before on morning glories (i thought i was dying and no one would take me seriously) and it's a SHITTY feeling

i know that i would never act like that towards anyone when i'm tripping...well...ya know, i might...but hell i would definitely try my hardest not to
man...i can't imagine myself laughing at someone who thought they might be dying...that is horrible, from my perspective...jeebz...

yea, i guess you obviously made the right decision by going home...i have found that i don't have bad trips when i am alone on hallucinogens, because i can always take care of myself, but i have bad trips when i'm around people because i guess i figure the people will take care of me, but they don't know how? or something like that?

i am not the most social person, anyhow, so that obviously factors in here... just my 2 cents
 
Leg said:

yea, i guess you obviously made the right decision by going home...i have found that i don't have bad trips when i am alone on hallucinogens, because i can always take care of myself, but i have bad trips when i'm around people because i guess i figure the people will take care of me, but they don't know how? or something like that?

i am not the most social person, anyhow, so that obviously factors in here... just my 2 cents

Wow, you know what... you have a point. I've been wondering why lately when I trip, I flip out... but I never used to trip around others, I was always alone. I really think that's what it is. Thanks for that bit of info, maybe now I'll try a trip by myself again and see how it goes.


As for the trip reports... I know how you feel. Mushrooms do that shit to me too thats why I havent done them for awhile. But maybe I'll have to try them again when I'm alone.
 
i think its all about security. i used to eat massive amounts of mushrooms and i remember one time all the roomies and i were all trippin after work gettin redy to go to the bar, and i went and got a sleeping bag to wrap myself in for comfort. i was laughing and having a good time prior to the blanket, but i guess i wanted a hug or some shit lol. it eventually turned into something that we all could not stop laughin about, but hey thats what i wanted. come to think of it that is kinda weird.

i think these guys are right about the setting and stuff. most of all dont let zoomers get like a monotonous thing. i always had a good time no matter how much i ate 'cause it was a treat, and i was super stoked about the experience i was about to have. anyway, best of luck!

req.

oh, i thought id mention that i left the blanket at home when we went to the bar. %)
 
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