Should I go back on low dose methadone?

[Tryptamite]

I was on methadone for about 4 years. I made one attempt to quit during that time and stayed clean for 3 weeks. Maybe 3 weeks was too short for paws to kick in or maybe it wouldn't have as it was early on in my career.

Anyway I went into detox at the start of February this year. Since I got out I believe I have been suffering from paws in one way or another. I have anxiety, sleeping, eating issues. Depressed and lack of motivation. It has gotten better with time. But I have continued to abuse drugs.

I have taken more benzos than I ever had in my life. I got the taste of benzo WD for the first time. I have got through a lot of coke. Weed. Gbl. Heroin use i space out since i got clean as my goal was to lose my habit and didnt fancy picking one back up again. It seems I need something to suppress the anxiety.

I always had anxiety and insomnia issues before opiates, except they were relatively mild, now they have a negative effect on my quality of life. Years of constant weed smoking didn't help either.

I know the obvious answer is to stop doing drugs and let your body adjust back to normal. I'm young, I don't feel ready to stop doing drugs. Heroin "cures" me, methadone to a lesser extent. Benzos help a good deal. I enjoy party drugs when I am out and feel mentally ok.

My main problem is that since I got out of detox I have no equilibrium in my life. I have had a mild motivational boost in recent weeks and applied for some TEFL courses. I intend to continue in a positive direction.

The main reason I got off methadone were because of the restrictions in travelling. Also because of the side effects of the doses I was on: 60-70mg.

Subutex/Suboxone is not available in my country. I have not tried it.

I am considering enlisting back on the methadone. I have no opiate tolerance. A dose of 10-20mg should give my receptors the relief I crave. This should restore some equilibrium and allow me to stop using benzos habitually.
A lesser dose would produce lesser side effects and provide fewer travelling restrictions and indeed make it easier to get on maintenance when in other countries for extended periods.

My dose should stay the same if used only for maintenance? I was on 60mg and holding for 24 hours for more than a year at the end of my habit.

Perhaps nicer opiates will be available in other countries and in the near future. I think I would prefer subutex to methadone. I do not intend to stay in Ireland. Maybe I will never want to quit opiates. But I imagine it will be easier when I am ready to fully commit to a non drug lifestyle.



Opinions please?

 

[bronson]

Moving this SO --> OD

 

[Doody OD]

Hi Mate, sorry it took so long to respond to your post, but it is a big question and there is a fair bit of info in your post to consider.

From what I can make out, you have used a fair few drugs since you got out of detox, did you go to a HSE detox unit or one of the other ones out of interest? During this time apart from the benzos you haven't used any other drugs enough to end up in W/D. Is that correct? I think I know something of the anxiety you are talking about, I have always suffered from it too, the impact it can have on your life is significant to say the least.

I understand what you are saying about travelling and the impact being on a script can have on it; but I do think with proper research it is not too difficult to travel on a small does. Now come the question of MMT in our country and the way it is so badly managed.

When you where last on a script where on a clinic or with a GP, more importantly did you get on well with him? If you had a good relationship with the doc previously and you would be getting the same doc, at least you would have that support and he could help with finding you other clinics if you go ahead and travel.

I don't know but it sounds like your drug use is a tad unstable at the moment; so, if you returned to a low dose of methadone, do you think it would stabilise things? This is the crux of the matter for me, if you restarted on a small does of methadone would it be beneficial to your where you are in your "journey" [for want of a better word]. If your life would be more stable on a small dose of methadone, it makes sense to me to go for it; but we are all different.

I hope that is of some use to you, but I would be interested to hear what way you do decide in the end. Best of luck with it.