Should I be upset? (sex video scenario...)

When me and my ex were together, we made a couple of sex videos. Most of them were ok, but in one of them, I was really fucked on GBL and ended up doing some things that were hot in the moment, but I'd die if anyone else ever saw me do them - just really nasty grade A crack-whore pornstar stuff. After I watched the tape again, I got all paranoid about it (worst case scenarios like what if someone steals his computer and puts it on the internet, I'd never be able to show my face again ), until he told me that he'd delete it because he was so sick of me going on about it..

That was a year ago, and I just found out today that he didn't delete it. I'm not sure how to feel about this . Part of me wants to see it, and perhaps even have a copy. Another part of me feels betrayed, and upset that he didn't realise that it's a big thing for me (it's so much easier for guys in the whole leaked sex tape scenario - they get to be the studs, and she's the stupid whore, especially with the sexual acts being performed on this particular video ).

I trust him, but feel uncomfortable about its existence. I want to ask him to delete it, but would like to keep a copy for myself - this may sound unfair, but then again it's only *my* face in the video. I just can't believe he kept it without telling me. I'm not sure, I can't figure out how to feel about this....

 

I think that you have every right to both have a copy, and demand that he delete his. If it is only you who are identifiable in the video, then you are at risk, not him.

That's why I only have two rules with video cameras: not when I'm eating, and not in the bedroom.

 

Yeah, you two can have a copy but if you feel uncomfortable, make that person get rid of his out of respect

 

I don't think it's unfair at all of you to ask him to delete the copy. It's definitely something that I wouldn't want just left out there.

 

I can understand not wanting to get rid of hot sex/goodmemoiries ect. But I say if you don' trust him... tell him you want colateral. He ca keep a copy on condition that you get to fill him in a manner which you think fair lol!