shitty is the life
gotta turn shit to sugar
alchemy
sustained high doses for me produces a very dark outlook on life in general. couldnt be bothered. no hope.
light headed i get at med doses over a couple days... thats when i know its workin. and my hands stop shaking.
at lower dose it just makes me feel "normal" as i dont schitz out over bullshit and can calm the madness to be able to focus on a chosen task, filling and filing intensive paperwork or whatever.
i have to say brmzlm has done quite a lot for me once i quit abusing it. hope shit stays like it is when i do stop. hoping it rewired my brain a little permanently.

i feel other substance may have. grateful af.
i feel my best days are still to come.
i will be there fwiw and as painful as
some of it is and may be im hoping to handle it in a decent way. tbh i do not think/feel i will survive losing my SO. yes logically they have no more pain/suffering/trauma etc and yay for them but what to do when half of who you are is gone and what fills that hole? rhetorical and babel. for everything there is a time. fuck that, man. aint feelin it but am.