Kennethjalla83
Bluelighter
Ok so iam playing with fire again
Need some thought's from people with experience.
I have been struggling with addiction most of my life, for the most part, lyrica, benzos, different opiods+++.
Was clean 2.5 years before i started playing with Heroin earlier this year, was back in addiction 4-5 months before i recently whent in to detox that i finnished and whent home from 10 days ago. Was doing well and getting back to normal routines. Then this weekend i was stupid and drank some beers beliving i could handle it, 2 beers normally goes fine but i whent up a notch til 4 this time and lost contol on my urges. Long story short i convinced myself i could have 1 last controlled relapse on H. Bought 1gram and binged all sunday, then a small dose monday morning and this morning. Was feeling fine when i woke up today but weaknes took over as i had more stored away for next weekend. Thinking its better to just get rid if it, so i dont have to think about it all day. Just wanna get back on track and stop again before i go to far. My last heroin dose was in the morning 4th october then had a 4 day buprenorphine taper, so it was 15 days since heroin and 19 days since any opioid at time of the relapse. Was still experiencing some PAWS like loose belly, poor sleep and elevated hearth rate but otherwise i was totally normal again. Could possibly be some benzo wd's lingering also. Feeling a little scared i will be back to start when stopping again now, so what do people think? Will i be fine ending it again after under 72 hours of relapse?
Supposed to start weekly drug testing to help myself, but luckily i can call in sick this week and begin next week. Wasnt even feeling as gd as i remembered so its been feeling like a waste of hard work.

I have been struggling with addiction most of my life, for the most part, lyrica, benzos, different opiods+++.
Was clean 2.5 years before i started playing with Heroin earlier this year, was back in addiction 4-5 months before i recently whent in to detox that i finnished and whent home from 10 days ago. Was doing well and getting back to normal routines. Then this weekend i was stupid and drank some beers beliving i could handle it, 2 beers normally goes fine but i whent up a notch til 4 this time and lost contol on my urges. Long story short i convinced myself i could have 1 last controlled relapse on H. Bought 1gram and binged all sunday, then a small dose monday morning and this morning. Was feeling fine when i woke up today but weaknes took over as i had more stored away for next weekend. Thinking its better to just get rid if it, so i dont have to think about it all day. Just wanna get back on track and stop again before i go to far. My last heroin dose was in the morning 4th october then had a 4 day buprenorphine taper, so it was 15 days since heroin and 19 days since any opioid at time of the relapse. Was still experiencing some PAWS like loose belly, poor sleep and elevated hearth rate but otherwise i was totally normal again. Could possibly be some benzo wd's lingering also. Feeling a little scared i will be back to start when stopping again now, so what do people think? Will i be fine ending it again after under 72 hours of relapse?
Supposed to start weekly drug testing to help myself, but luckily i can call in sick this week and begin next week. Wasnt even feeling as gd as i remembered so its been feeling like a waste of hard work.
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