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Shooting like Blokhin

Rattles

Bluelighter
Joined
May 20, 2012
Messages
73
Location
an uneasy calm
Hi,

just a few words to share with you, been feeling a bit dark and I like to get it out there...
(ps. thats Vasili Blokhin, the executioner, not Oleg the later footballer - who could also be claimed to shoot, though with less bloody results, I would hope:))


Thoughts of freedom are a virus
That has to be contained
False ideas just eliminated
And reality reframed

Paranoia recommences
There's traitors in my mind
Recidivism threatens
When hope is just a crime

There's just one certain answer
The truth that never fails
A shot to purge the mind
And a drying bloody trail

So i'm shooting just like Blokhin
And maybe when I'm done
Those twisted bright seducers
Will finally be gone



Love y'all

Rattles
 
Critique, critique, critique, please. A lot of the references are to the language and style of the late 30s and Stalinist purges (eg 'purge', 'recidivism' ,etc) an obsession of mine, but conceptually it's an an allegory to the tyranny of addiction - how one keeps using just to to silence the thoughts of normalcy that inevitably arise. PS Vasili Blokhin was known for his relentlessly efficient and emotionless approach to his 'work' - he individually pulled the trigger on 10000+ people. btw his preferred method was a shot to the back of the head, hence the dark pun about 'purging the mind' (ie; all over the wall)... ironically, despite contemporaries indicating he showed no emotion whilst working, he later died a severe alcoholic and insane (with his cause of death 'suicide' ) ..well, I guess you would, wouldn't you?
 
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The motif is good. But you're being too technical and verbose. Forget the technical terms and tell it simply.
 
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