Opioids Shooting H while on suboxone , am I inevitably wasting my time/playing with fire ?

[wraithbabe_x]

First you compliment me on my long, rambling, emotional speech and then you turn and compliment @0.o_LaCuNa_o.0 for such brevity?! You can't have us both @wraithbabe_x I've had enough of this back and forth between us. It's either me or him

It makes me feel all warm and fuzzy to hear that, so thanks! You're not alone. People in general get involved in such stupid shit on a day to day basis. Think of how many lives have been utterly ruined by 30-45 seconds of sexual intercourse... ponder that one for the history books. As drug addicts, I believe we make easy targets for "polite" society. Some people love to look down on others. It just makes them feel good. This too, however, is something we have all been guilty of throughout the course of our lives. It's about knowing our flaws and trying to change them.

As I have been told at length by my sponsor, "It's progress, not perfection". I love all addicts who are willing to try to be better people. This can be any small attempt at sending positivity into the universe. You have something in your heart that is driving you to be better. Right now, it's a selfish game though. You have to take literally everything you've got @wraithbabe_x and re-invest it into yourself, because you frankly don't have enough to give to anyone else. This doesn't mean "fuck humanity". You can still treat people with respect, but you've gotta get better to be truly of use and of purpose to those important to you. If you don't have anyone important to you, think about how sweet it will be when you get that back.

You're moving between those two worlds, yes, but you've gotta start trying to decide how to pick a world and stick with it. You seem to be intelligent, well-spoken and self-aware, so you could do some really great things in this world. Being on maintenance and continuing to use drugs is bullshit. It just further wrecks the self-esteem of the user, accomplishes hardly anything positive... it's that two worlds thing. You've got some inertia in your life, as you've mentioned, pulling you back and forth, but you can do it. I know plenty of hookers from NA who are now beautiful ladies-of-the-court with little kiddoes, jobs... maybe an Accura SUV somewhere down the road?

We're here for emotinal and physical support. Hit any one of us up and we will be happy to chit chat.

Ha! I can be in different moods can’t I ? I appreciate the both of ya

And thanks again. This was very motivating/comforting to read & just what I needed today . The investing energy/resources in yourself thing - so fkn true .

 

[wraithbabe_x]

definitely a waste of money time and if you are like me there is the guilt afterwards all for a 20min at most high

side note I find it interesting how so many people are just (lacking a world for it) enjoying? shooting something (ie sterile water)
my friend used to shoot my lithium and I couldn’t understand it
now I see he wasn’t alone

A lot using is ritualistic I’ve noticed since switching these past couple days from opiods to kratom even though I have no withdrawals I will get a serious craving when I do certain things that are part of my lead in to the ritual behavior to the point where I get mean and pissy
it’s kinda fucked up

habit
so many things are habit
it’s really hard to break

reality just sucks on its own
I don’t know how the rest of the world does this shit

Reality certainly does suck,mate .
Hard relate to the,how does the world do this shit, feeling . guess that’s what I’m in the process of tryna learn ..

 

[wraithbabe_x]

Oh it's brilliant. Finland was actually the first country to start using it 2 years ago (buvidal weekly and buvidal monthly, not sublocade). They startted me on suboxone to assess what my buvidal (injection) dose would be. I knew they use a table that there's a cut off between 16mg and 18mg per day. If you use 16mg/day or less they put you on 24mg/week. If you use 18mg/day or more you get the 32mg/week injection. Actually with daily dosing (no matter the dose) i start to experience comedown at about 7 pm and feel nauseus, unmotivated, mentally and physically weak for the rest of the evening (A shitty feeling you get hours and hours before withdrawals). I kept telling them that until they upped my 'xone to 18mg/day. Then i just told them now i'm happy with my dose and ready to switch.

The patient leaflet let's you know it takes about 4 full weeks for the "injection saturation" to be reached before you're reaping the full benfits of the injection. Quite not true IMO. 1st Weak was horrible. I felt unstable but wasn't withdrawing till day 3/4. They gave me a 8mg booster shot on the 5th day that did fuck all. 2nd week was unpleasant. I didn't withdrawl but was close to it on wednesday. Got a booster shot on thursday and somehow made it till the next monday. Week 3 wasn't too bad. I felt ok til day 5 (of that week) and went to the clinic for a 8mg booster shot. They kind of were amused that i still needed it at that point but gave it to me anyway (It's still relatively new and they are gathering all kind of data of product and how it works depending on the patient so the rules aren't (at least yeat) written in stone. It helped me pass the next two days (thursday & fri-) and i felt a bit awful on the weekend. Week 4 I felt good till friday. Then i was a bit depressed oveer the weekend but nothing major. Week 5 I felt really good untill i noticed a clear crash on sunday, which sucked. Week 6 I felt really good the whole week till it became sunday which was a bit of meh but nothing major. Week 7 was wonderfull, I felt brilliant, energetic and was on a good mood for the whole week. I was feeling as stable as i was on the rest of the week when it was sunday. Since that it has been really good. No cravings at all.

For the sake of thruth i must tell you not everyone likes it though and some have switched back to the xone. Imo they're mostly the ones who sell half of their carry aways and shoot the other half. Im not down with that shitty game played by those retards so i would never give it away. And tlak about only having to go to the clinic only once per week. Not having to gight over carry homes and that bullshit. If i don't get caught doing something stupid at some point (i believe 6-8 monts) i have the change to switch on the once a month injection. That's a fucking lifesaver. You don't stand in a que with addicts waiting to be dosed. You get private meetings with a nurse personally assinged to you.

On mondays when i receive my jab it takes 1,5h for the tip of my nose to start to feel a bit itchy. I strat to feel really motivated and relaxed at the same time with a little bith of euphoria in the mix. Then the come up wil just get stronger from there (hour by hour) and it keeps creping on you till the night. Iusually pop a couple of mg Xanax at this point since i'm almost nodding already and they won't be detected at my urine analysis on the next monday (if they even decide to test me, which they very rearely do). On Tuesday mornings when i wake up i still feel a little noddy but it soon phases out and i feel stable and solid for the rest of the week. Until it's the next moday again and i gots tha chill.

Thanks for such a detailed reply ! Wow that adjustment period sounds like it was brutal . The not havin to queue every day thing though …bliss .
glad it’s workin for you so well now. Ur reply has defo made me even more curious about trying it . I know my doc has put a couple people on my day program on it so ..fingers crossed i get the chance . Good luck with it ,& ur recovery .